Things that happened to you that you thought would never happen to someone like you?

[besentsl]

Me… abortion. Thought it happened to other women.

Later on a single parent. Was not at all what I thought I would allow to happen but of course you learn life isn’t like that! Many people said they couldn’t believe it had happened as I’m quite conservative and careful but it did!

Sometimes I don’t recognise me though I am still me. Anyone else experienced this?

That was for @VladmirsPoutine

so sorry to read some of these stories.
life can be so hard.

Abortion
Losing both parents to cancer
Diabetes
50k Debt
Divorce
Seeing a ghost

My daughter dying. I never expected to have anything other than a healthy child(ren). I never expected to watch her die suddenly. I never expected to feel anything other than happiness at being pregnant again.

This is completely shallow and trivial compared to some of the stories on this thread, but I'm autistic and until I was about 27 I was a socially awkward nerd who was really self-conscious about everything, especially my looks. I don't think I even owned any cosmetic products til about my mid-20s because I was so convinced everyone would laugh at me or even be disgusted if I looked like I was trying to make an effort with my appearance when i was so hopelessly unattractive, and I mostly hung around with comic book nerds even though I didn't really share many of their interests because they seemed more accepting than mainstream people.

I still don't understand what happened exactly but over the space of about three years I gained shitloads of confidence, realised I was actually really smart and funny, got into fashion, started getting regular beauty treatments and suddenly turned into this person that all the 'bad boy' types I secretly fancied as a goody two-shoes teen were falling over themselves to chat up. I made friends who live all over the world, got to know some really interesting and successful people and have even been invited to a couple of rich expat parties in Thailand and places, despite being about as far from a rich expat as it's possible to get (I'm a school caretaker!!) Sometimes I wonder if I'm really just part of a Matrix-style simulation that scientists are running as a study in psychology or something, because it all seems so impossibly unlikely.

These posts are really hard to hear but glad we can all share and wish I could post on them all. I never thought I would have two perfectly healthy children and then have a miscarriage at 13 weeks and not have a d and c to then 4 days later collapse in our rented house in the loo because a clot got stuck and end up needing 2 pints of blood and glucose. I’m here happy I didn’t die but thought I would at the time. Love to you all. xx

I still have the old friends btw, didn't mean to imply I was a horrible person who ditched them as soon as I found cooler people to hang out with! Just trying to explain the sort of person I was a few years before all this and how totally unexpected it all was.

Brought up by a single parent who riled against the norm (took me to Glastonbury, womad and geenham Common, marched for Nelson Mandela to be freed and abortion rights) in a inner city top floor flat as it was the most unlikely to be robbed to today being a farmers wife in the middle of no where living a very conventional life which is poles apart from where I started off. If someone had told the 16 year old me that this would be my life at 44, I wouldn't have been even able to imagine it.

Getting meningitis at 16
Miscarriages
Husband murdered
Not living with my children for 2 years
Rehab ( and long term sobriety ! )
Remarrying at 51
Getting custody of 5 year old twins at 52 😳
….Never make plans 😄

@FastFood i am polish and this made me smile and laugh! Such a funny story. I can suggest few other amazing cakes besides wuzetka😂

@IDontLikeMondays88 Glad to hear you made it out the other side even if it took a few bumps along the road. But that's one thing I think people can sometimes underlook when all other traumas are considered of just the idea of having the rug stripped from under your feet so abruptly!

this is my DC. Too smart for the special schools, not NT enough for mainstream. 5yrs of minimal education- no education and doubt DC will get the required GCSEs because of it.

all this was down to a failure to diagnose, a HEadtecher with no understanding single mums could have kids with additional needs and it wasn’t always a parenting issue.

Messy divorce with OW banging on frond door and then causing a scene in sainsbursys

Single parent
never married
was the OW 3 times, 4 if you count once which was kissing
flirted with someone’s boyfriend regularly
only have 3 steady relationships
at school got off with a guy my friend fancied, had a 3some that night and was a virgin
thought if you kissed at a party you would become bf and gf!!!!! Happened to others not me
jealous to a point that I hate myself for feeling that way
on ADs again
agreed to anal even though I hate it - in fact agreed to sex a lot just so men wouldn’t leave me (pathetic I know that now)
having 4 abortions - why because I was scared to tell my mother when I was 17. And 2 because the men persuaded me too and 1 because I wasn’t ready

That I wouldn't ever have a career/be able to work.

And not carrying to term of course.

Mine is very small beer compared to many others. I never thought I would have a mental breakdown (happened in 2020 during lockdown 1) and end up suffering from severe agoraphobia. Two years ago I was too afraid to even stand on the doorstep. And I never thought I would hear myself called ' a vulnerable person'. It upset me because I was always proud of my resilience and independence.

I lost my eldest son at two hours old..
My second son is disabled..
Ds2 found his Dad dead in bed and couldn't wake him up two days before his fifth birthday.
DP was diagnosed with cancer six weeks after we got together and I lost him four and half years ago... 😔 😔 😔 😔 😔 😔 😔 😔 😔 😔

That I wouldn’t end up with the love of my life. I’m happily married to a nice man and have two lovely children but my great love married someone else. I always thought it would be like the movies and we would be together.

Me too! I hear you!

I'm starting to do a daily walk hoping to get it all off slowly and sensibly. I'm not used to having to 'diet' - I've never given my weight a second glance. I blame lockdown!

Some of my children having severe behavioural problems. Their father and I had never given our parents or teachers a bit of trouble and we expected to have easy, compliant children ourselves. I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with school exclusions and PRU parenting. If you met them now you wouldn't believe what we went through with them as children and teenagers because they're all thoroughly nice young adults.

1. fell in Love got married
2. pregnant through IVF
3. miscarried
4. Husband had affair
5. husband left
6. Diagnosed with small Brain aneurysm.

So sorry 😔

Having four boys. I remember meeting someone when I was in hospitalwith my eldest having his tonsils out and she had four boys, I was so envious of her and now I am living the dream! Every day! But oh my, the laundry….,

That I wouldn’t always be a teacher.
That my mental health would be so eroded by a job/career that I really enjoyed.
That I would talk myself out suicide because I didn’t want DH to find me when he got home from work. (all in Dec 2013)
That I would have a succession of barely above minimum wage jobs because I’m so crap at interviews.
That I would have to live most of my adult life without my mum. She died of cancer, aged 45, 13 days after DH and I married.

On the upside
That I would be able to succeed at marriage with DH. I never had a boyfriend at school. Too fat. First boyfriend tried to coerce me into sex when we were babysitting my young cousins one Friday evening. Managed to talk him out of it, and he dumped me the following week. 6 weeks later, I was actually begging him to go out with me again. Only lasted a day, and then he dumped me again. He had never had a girlfriend, was also very fat, but at least seemed to have a bit more self worth than me.

That I would have my wish of remaining Childfree. Closest event has been 2 rounds of MAP when 1. a condom burst and a few weeks later, 2. a condom got “lost”. I went on the pill a couple weeks later. That BF is now DH.

That I would get beyond my mum’s age without any serious health problems. Fortunately for me, mum’s breast cancer was not genetic, and none of her 3 sisters have had any trouble, so my risk factors are no worse than someone who’s mum didn’t have cancer. I’ll be 47 in October.

That I would voluntarily sit on a bicycle seat long enough to go 100km in a day. Next goal is 100 miles but perimenopause is kicking my ass. 😫

So many. Teenage pregnancy, that baby being born with serious congenital heart disease and needing open heart surgery four times plus other surgeries. Even when the surgeon talked me through all the things that could go wrong before her first open heart surgery I never imagined she might die then a few hours into her operation a nurse came to get me to tell me she was dying and to prepare myself for the worst. By some miracle and huge skill by the surgeon and anaesthetists she survived and while I love and adore her completely and I’m so so proud of her I did really struggle to bond after nearly losing her because I was just so afraid she would die.

Being SA by someone in a position of trust.

Being in relationship with DV, physical financial and sexual.

Becoming an alcoholic and drug addict. And now as of 7 years clean and 2.5hrs sober I never imagined I could turn my life around.

I’m now fat! But working on it…I’m clean sober and happy which is much more precious to me than my dress size. However at 18st 3 months ago I never thought I could get down to 14st 9lb!