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Original poster

Tracking apps - can your partner see where you are?

257 replies

Nocturness · 14/07/2022 22:16

Sorry inspired by another thread!

Everyone seemed to think it weird they could track their partner. We use Apples find a friend app to see where each other is. It’s not stalking, just for info so for example if DH is coming to pick me up I might see if he has left. If I’m at the gym and running late DH might check to see if I’ve popped to the supermarket and message me to grab something.

I don’t know why everyone thought is was strange to use this. I might only use it once a month, never really to check randomly where he was. If he said he was going to a friends house and would be back at midnight I wouldn’t even think to look to check he was where he said he was. But the app is live and on both our phones.

This isn’t abnormal right?

OP posts:
TinaYouFatLard · 14/07/2022 22:19

I think it’s such a new thing that there’s no established “normal” yet. We’ve just got Life360 as our kids are teens and need more independence. As a result we can now see each other all the time. We could turn it off for ourselves but it’s quite handy for the reasons you mentioned.

Perfect28 · 14/07/2022 22:21

I personally don't like it. I think it sets a precedent. Yes you can turn it off but it looks suspect. I can see the benefits of course, especially with kids but at the same time I think even teenagers need to experience freedom etc. Maybe I'm in denial about the world we now live in.

Penfelyn · 14/07/2022 22:22

I mean, I wouldn't. But there's nothing wrong with doing this so long as everyone involved is aware and consenting to their position being known at all times. I'd find it claustrophobic personally but what matters is that it works for you.

I think people struggle with this because while it can be fine in a healthy relationship, it has the potential to do a lot of damage in a controlling relationship.

Thiswayorthatway · 14/07/2022 22:25

I don’t feel the need to track DH

InTheShadeOfTheFigTree · 14/07/2022 22:27

I would absolutely hate that. I really value my space and privacy and couldn't bear to be trackable. Cant imagine a scenario where I'd want to know DH's exact movements either.

PinkButtercups · 14/07/2022 22:28

Me and DP both have Life360 app.

Don't ever use it to track. I don't actually check it.

It will alert one another if our battery is running low etc.

FIL shared his location with me on apple and I got a message from apple to say wouldn't like to share mine with FIL, yeah, no 🤣.

alwaysmovingforwards · 14/07/2022 22:29

InTheShadeOfTheFigTree · 14/07/2022 22:27

I would absolutely hate that. I really value my space and privacy and couldn't bear to be trackable. Cant imagine a scenario where I'd want to know DH's exact movements either.

Likewise

ClaraB83 · 14/07/2022 22:30

My partner and i track each other on find a friend. It saves calling to ask how long he’ll be if I’m making dinner, or he can see I’m in the gym and know not to call. It’s never done in a creepy way. We also have the kids on the app too and again it’s for a similar reason. If both parties are happy with it I don’t see the problem.

on the other hand my grown up nephew thinks we’re weird for doing it

EmmaH2022 · 14/07/2022 22:32

Perfect28 · 14/07/2022 22:21

I personally don't like it. I think it sets a precedent. Yes you can turn it off but it looks suspect. I can see the benefits of course, especially with kids but at the same time I think even teenagers need to experience freedom etc. Maybe I'm in denial about the world we now live in.

I feel really sorry for teens now.

I have only had it on when on holiday with a friend, for various reasons, but we both switched it off at home.

if couples agree to have it, that's their business.

Shmithecat2 · 14/07/2022 22:32

I thinks it's a bit odd. If I need to know where DH is, I just message him.

justasking111 · 14/07/2022 22:32

I would hate it OH would say he knew I was in xyz shops and what did I buy. ironically he often forgets his phone.

merryhouse · 14/07/2022 22:32

We share our location on Google maps. When our sons were here permanently they shared as well.

Originally we used Life360 - it started years ago, after the third occasion S2 had rung me to check I'd remembered to meet him with his tuba and I hadn't answered because I was a couple of hundred yards away in the car at the time Grin.

Occasionally I take a look to see when to put the coffee on or something. We lead very staid lives.

Monkeybutt1 · 14/07/2022 22:33

Me and DH use a similar function in Google maps, I don't see anything wrong with it. We are not spying on each other but I might use it if he's popping to pick dinner up, so I know when he's on his way back and can make a cuppa for him etc. I go running so it's also a safety thing. Each to their own I say. Neither of us cares if the other knows where we are as we have nothing to hide.

Bumblebee413 · 14/07/2022 22:34

We both have 360. My DH never has his turned on because he doesn't like the idea of an app tracking him. Doesn't bother me at all. I have mine switched in so that he can see where I am if he ever needs to (getting dinner ready etc) but he never remembers to use the flipping thing and calls anyway to find out where I am. Drives me bananas 😂I don't care if I'm tracked or not. I'm never doing anything special or that I'd hide so....

RaininSummer · 14/07/2022 22:34

I would find it really odd as have never used or had access to anything like that. However 20 years ago I would have tracked my teenagers like a shot for peace of mind.

GCHeretic · 14/07/2022 22:36

We use it all the time. It’s convenient for putting dinner on, checking if they need picking up from the station, or just checking if they are OK on the way home from a night out.

NerrSnerr · 14/07/2022 22:36

We don't use a tracking app, but we always let each other know roughly when we'll be home (usually to swap over childcare) so it doesn't seem worth it. We both drive a lot for work and often don't know where we'll be before the day starts so tracking would be pointless.

PeppaPigIsAnnoying · 14/07/2022 22:38

There's lots of stalking apps out there right now, WhatsApp being the biggest one

"I sent a message to my friend, they've seen it and not replied"

Ducksurprise · 14/07/2022 22:38

I have never and will never track my teens. It is a fallacy that it keeps them safe it is just controlling.

I have nothing to hide but I would hate it if anyone tracked me.

Benjamin Franklin once said: "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

tiredanddangerous · 14/07/2022 22:38

No we dont have any kind of tracking app. I'd think there was something seriously wrong in my marriage if dh announced that he wanted to be able to track me.

alpenguin · 14/07/2022 22:38

i have apple family thing set up so my eldest (13) can see where we are and we can see where she is if she isn’t answering her phone. Sometimes I’ll check to see where
my partner is on his way home from work to get the kettle on and dinner in the oven for him. He works in the nhs so sometimes he doesn’t get away for ages after his official shift ends and I’ve no way of knowing this because he can’t call to let me know. So I will
sometimes check to see If he’s held up. I do this with his full consent and he has mine.

This would only be weird or problematic for a relationship if it was done covertly or used because of distrust. It has practical applications for us.

Spottybotty20 · 14/07/2022 22:40

We have it, I mainly use it to see how far away his train is when I’m picking him up. Doesn’t feel intrusive at all as I’m never anywhere he’d be worried about.
I discovered today that a bunch of the teenagers I teach have each other on trackers so they can see all their mates. That seemed a bit odd to me!

Lindy2 · 14/07/2022 22:40

We use Life 360. DH, I and the 2 DC are all on it as a family group.

We're not tracking each other as such but it is useful to see where we all are at times.

I can see when DH is on his way home from work. If a phone is mislaid it helps find it. If I'm collecting my kids I can check they're where they're supposed to be at the right time etc. We all find it handy.

MargotMoon · 14/07/2022 22:41

Of course it's not abnormal if you're both fine with it. If either one of you wasn't comfortable about it that would be a different matter

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 14/07/2022 22:43

I insist my kids have find my iPhone switched on. (I don't generally use it to track them). Dd1 switched hers off, as I don't check it unless I need to I didn't notice. So when her phone got stolen we were unable to track it or block it. She now quite happily leaves it on. Dh doesn't use it, he is the only android user in the house, but if he did I wouldn't track him on it unless he went missing or something. I think adults are entitled to privacy, and I would hate having my every move tracked.