Tracking apps - can your partner see where you are?

[Nocturness]

Sorry inspired by another thread!

Everyone seemed to think it weird they could track their partner. We use Apples find a friend app to see where each other is. It’s not stalking, just for info so for example if DH is coming to pick me up I might see if he has left. If I’m at the gym and running late DH might check to see if I’ve popped to the supermarket and message me to grab something.

I don’t know why everyone thought is was strange to use this. I might only use it once a month, never really to check randomly where he was. If he said he was going to a friends house and would be back at midnight I wouldn’t even think to look to check he was where he said he was. But the app is live and on both our phones.

This isn’t abnormal right?

No, I don't think it's normal

The number of people posting on this thread saying that they and their friends/family use it suggests otherwise.

And it's ok to be not ok with it. I'm sure there are loads of people with trust issues that use tracking and loads of people affected by control issues that don't, and loads of people who use or don't use tracking apps with no big hang-ups or issues either way.

We have a shared Apple ID so can see each other on find my iPhone. We both check where the other is so we don’t have to hassle with answering messages so I look to see if DH is taking the nice walk back from the school run (so I can pretend to be busy when he gets back 😁) and DH checks to see where I am on the commute home and if I’ll make kids bedtime. He also checks when I’m oncall at work so he knows whether I’m still in the hospital or managed to escape. He won’t message if I’m at work because he knows I’m busy but will when I’m back in the oncall room.

it’s not weird to us or breaching boundaries. It may for other people but it’s whatever works for the couple.

We have a shared Apple ID God- so do we and it's my biggest regret ever. Came about as we were living overseas and only I had a UK credit card and we wanted the UK Apple TV. If we ever split it's gonna be like Kramer and Kramer over that thing. Court of Final Appeal ruling- who owns the Apple ID- the email address owner or the CC owner.

You do you obviously but honestly the idea makes my skin crawl. I've used share location temporarily when I'm driving or in a crowd or something but to have a permanent tracker on me that's so easy to check, no thanks. I just don't think adults need to be accountable to anyone to that degree. What if you bump into a friend in the street and decide to grab a quick coffee even though you said you were just nipping to the supermarket? Do you owe each other an explanation for every tiny act of selfishness? It's too much, it makes me feel suffocated, I'm not 8 years old.

It doesn't tell you if they are ok. It just tells you where their phone is!

Exactly. The current level of surveillance might not be a problem. But we are slowly getting used to ( and accepting) higher and higher levels of surveillanc and control. It's not just your wife/husband/child that knows where you are and what you are doing, it's also the company that provides the service.