Tracking apps - can your partner see where you are?

[Nocturness]

Sorry inspired by another thread!

Everyone seemed to think it weird they could track their partner. We use Apples find a friend app to see where each other is. It’s not stalking, just for info so for example if DH is coming to pick me up I might see if he has left. If I’m at the gym and running late DH might check to see if I’ve popped to the supermarket and message me to grab something.

I don’t know why everyone thought is was strange to use this. I might only use it once a month, never really to check randomly where he was. If he said he was going to a friends house and would be back at midnight I wouldn’t even think to look to check he was where he said he was. But the app is live and on both our phones.

This isn’t abnormal right?

Irons should be banned...I hate ironing

No, certainly not. I do have Find my iPhone on one of my devices, but it was for fun for me just to see if it actually worked.
I am not at all keen on this widespread spying that seems to go on these days in certain sectors of the population.

100% agree with you!

Well no, that's not what I said, is it?

I've never said they should be banned, it just worries me how many people think tracking the whereabouts of another adult is normal 😬

I can't imagine wanting to track my DH, nor him tracking me.
We don't even live in the same country as each other most of the time!

I think it’s odd. It has no real purpose for adults but it’s a huge invasion of privacy.

You can just text if you want to know something.

I am not at all keen on this widespread spying that seems to go on these days in certain sectors of the population

Spying is covert. Sharing your location isn’t.

Difficult to say as i just can’t see it ever being an issue for him, they’re really useful to us at times and cause zero problems. We’ve been together over 20 years and we’re not a couple that has any jealousy or anything like that. My partner would have had a huge personality change if he cared about me potentially being able to see where he was, so yes, I suppose I’d be suspicious. 😂 But honestly, if he was up to something dodgy, I would lose my faith in the human race.

If my teens turned theirs off, I wouldn’t say anything, but they’re happy to have it on as they find it useful. There’s no control, no constant tracking, they’re good kids, oldest is 18 and obviously comes and goes as he pleases and has done for the last couple of years.

I think you would have to see our family day to day to realise it’s just not an issue. I can understand people being wary of them as in the wrong hands, they could be a terrible thing.

You can just text if you want to know something.

Good luck trying that with my husband. You might get a response. Probably a week later.

He just isn’t a phone person and rarely checks it.

I am not at all keen on this widespread spying that seems to go on these days in certain sectors of the population

It's not spying if you and open and consenting

Quite different if one party is unaware.

Me and hubby use find my friends. It's helpful so I can see when he'll be home for dinner so I can get it ready or check that he arrived to golf/gym safely without him having to remember to text. He uses it the same way. I also have my siblings on there and only ever look at their location when there's reason to- I.e they are late for a meet up and I want to check they're ok. We're all comfortable with it so that's the main thing x

Just because someone has agreed, doesn't mean it's not coercive consent though.

How many people are agreeing for a happy life, or to be "allowed" to do certain things, or to shut their partners up?

We're sleepwalking into some weird dystopia and people are just accepting it

They're not just accepting it, they're welcoming it. Because it means they can have hubby's dinner on the table promptly.

Good grief, how did those of us who had husbands and families before even dumbphones existed, ever manage?

We all have find my iPhone but DH and I have our location off unless I’m out running then I switch it on incase anything happens to me while I’m out. DC always have their location on.

But if you’re with someone like that, you have huge issues regardless of a them using an app like this. My father found ways of knowing where my mother was years ago without an app. The app isn’t the issue, the person is.

I'm not in a relationship at the moment but when I was married it wouldn't have occurred to do this.
Why would you willing allow companies or people to track your every movement?

I do know a couple of people who track their (knowing) partners. The tracked seem to be hapless useless men, the trackers over-controlling women who have been forced into the role of parent in their relationship because their fella is so useless.
Says it all.

We use find my iphone. It's been incredibly useful when one or other of us has lost our phone or left it somewhere. Ds once left his on a coach and I was able to see where it was and ping it so it made a noise.

I can track Dh on Google. He set it up during lockdown because he goes on long bike rides - if he has an accident I can find him. I mostly use it when I bother to check to see if he'll be home from work on time and is it time to steam the veg - he's never home from work on time 🙄

Just because someone has agreed, doesn't mean it's not coercive consent though.

It doesn’t mean it is either. So, not a reason not to use it if you find it useful.

The ‘so I know when to put on the dinner’ line baffles me. Are people living such rigid, routined lives that dinner not being on the table on arrival home would be a problem, or would having to wait 10/15 minutes for dinner be so awful that it warrants being tracked all the time? Tbh, it strikes me as an excuse and justification made by people who like the control of knowing and being able to check. It’s almost a case of ‘the lady doth protest too much’, and it reminds me of posts where an op has blatantly snooped on their partner’s phone but gives a convoluted, drawn out backstory as to why they were looking/how they saw what they did and how they definitely weren’t actually snooping, it was just an amazing coincidence that they saw whatever they did. Just admit what you’re doing, ffs.

But if you’re with someone like that, you have huge issues regardless of a them using an app like this. My father found ways of knowing where my mother was years ago without an app. The app isn’t the issue, the person is.

Well, yes, I don't think anyone is denying that.

But I just don't understand grown adults who need to have access to their partners every move "so they can get dinner on the table" - it's such a bizarre way of thinking to me!

I know 😬

Heaven forbid dinner isn't on the table on time - the whole world might explode 🙈

We are the same OP and I find it weird people think it's weird.

I recently got caught up in horrendous rail delays and he could see where I was at any given time to know when to pick me up, instead of texting every 5 minutes.

But then we totally trust each other, so it's not an issue. Genuine question- if you are against this, why? We've been married best part of 30 years, I know he's not 'keeping tabs' on me, or is suspicious I'm up to no good, and vice versa, what is the issue?

Good grief, how did those of us who had husbands and families before even dumbphones existed, ever manage?

Luddites of the world unite!

I've got a "find my kids" app for my daughter now she's at secondary and getting the bus/going off and doing things independently. It's quite handy and I only check it when I actually need to know where she is or to see she's arrived somewhere safely.

Me and my partner don't track each other but we do use the 'send location' thing on FB messenger if one of us is on the motorway home or we're meeting somewhere a bit unknown so we can find each other easily. We just turn that on as and when though.