The most outrageous way you’ve been fat shamed?

[Notbeinfunnehbut]

This is in part inspired by a TikTok video and it made me laugh so much that I thought that a similar thread here might get some interesting responses,
keep it civil please obviously post what you want but don’t be attacking posters for their lived experiences

I also think these things really highlight how people who are rude to the overweight are rarely doing it out of concern

Ok I’ll go, my grandma only lets certain people in the family sit on some vintage chairs at the bottom of the garden , as they “aren’t as sturdy as my other chairs” me , husband and my mum are not allowed on the chairs 🙈

In one of her rants/moans about me being fat mum decided to get dad involved. Mainly asking him to tell me how unattractive he finds fat women and that he'd never look at/date one. Because my dad's dating habits were obviously going to be the kick I needed.

What awful experiences.
I'm going to say not just fat shaming, but a large dose of misogyny as well.
How dare a woman not be teeny tiny and a shrinking violet!

I was carrying my new born in a baby car seat and a man came up me and said ‘he’s a big boy just like his mum’. My baby was two weeks old.

@BlooBagoo I'm so sorry you went through that. I can't believe the amount of Parents fat shaming! I could include my own mother too...

Not me, but my 11YO DD.

For context, she eats a wide range of food, is the least fussy eater of all 3 of my DDs by a long shot, and isn’t really into sweet things. She’s also Autistic, started her periods at 10 and has some moderate MH issues which make her comfort eat (cheese, mostly!).

My ex was obese as a child, weighed 6 stone at 6YO, etc. I’m very slim and always have been. His weight goes up and down like a yo yo, and can easily go from obese to underweight and back again in the space of a year.

She was always very slim (like my other two, one younger, one older), until Covid happened and she couldn’t go to gymnastics three times a week or play rugby at weekends.

She put on about 2 stone, so went from slightly underweight to obese.

Obviously I’m not stupid, I know this isn’t good. But she was also self harming at the time, so my priority was her MH. We have a Paediatrician, and at my GP surgery (a Uni based one), we have a Nutritionist, an OT, and a MH nurse.

I have also watched a close family member battle with anorexia, so was/am very keen to avoid doing anything that could spark an ED.

To my ex, this meant I was ignoring the problem. He also doesn’t grasp that puberty in girls is very different to boys and that we need to gain weight to fuel it.

His solution is to fat shame the fuck out of her - something I was beyond furious about, and asked him if it ever helped him as a child, and why does he want to make his child feel like shit about herself?!

The comments that stick out the most was this one -

”You need to be nice and slim so you can get a good husband”

”Men don’t like fat women”

What the actual fuck. Our daughters aren’t there to be aesthetically pleasing for men.

Needless to say, he is lucky if she visits him once a month for a few hours these days. She can’t stand him. I stopped contact for a while because I had to put her in play therapy at a cost of £55 an hour for 12 weeks to undo the damage he was causing with his comments (which I wasn’t aware of, and as soon as I was made aware, he got read the riot act and I stopped contact).

In the year since then, she has shot up 4 inches in height (is now taller than me), and lost 1.5 stone.

Which is pretty much what every single medical professional said would happen - alongside that lockdown has caused a lot of children to gain weight and they expected that as activities opened up again, they’d lose it. Plus lots of other advice about how to support her and to never make even a positive comment about her weight, due to the association between weight loss = positive praise, which could trigger an ED.

i want to be like you!

loads and loads over the years but two that stand out:

being called a heifer on my way to the cinema by a teenage boy and all his mates laughing

a man taking a photo of me sitting down in a bikini and showing it around his mates and girlfriend laughing

oh and my parents offering me £500 for every stone I lost as a teenager & putting me on the Cambridge diet during GCSEs

My ex has turned into a raging misogynistic pig the last few years, I’m thoroughly embarrassed by the shit he says to our DDs who are teens. In fact, he’s so bad, that our eldest asked me why I’d had kids with him! I explained that he wasn’t like this 20 years ago when I met him, or 10 years ago when we split up. If he was, he wouldn’t have got past the first few dates!

I just remembered something...my 9 month baby who was on the 50th percentile...was called 'big' by 2 parents from school...

@ISpyNoPlumPie my older cousin who went through puberty before me sniggered and called me 'healthy' when I was 14...she was older than me she should have known better...It affected me all throughout high school...

My grandad bless him is a typical 'say it as it is' older person who thinks they've earned the right with age to say exactly what they want. He is brutal at times. But I remember one particular occasion when we were all sat around my nans death bed when she was very unwell and he came out with 'you've got fat' to me and my poor nana as ill as she was told him off for being cruel to me. He just said 'well she is, im only speaking the truth.'

He's a lovely man, very kind and generous but he has no filter at all.

Awful such a sad read. Although even if you are not fat when younger I regularly received vile abuse from strange men - if you are overweight it seems they use that at you otherwise it’s the usual foul misogynistic words and also obscene comments. So basically as a woman you don’t avoid that type of abuse being slim. Barbs from women / family members you do avoid though I think.

I’m a 16/18, largely due to health issues but also due to crisps and wine. Anyway, I recently met a vairy good looking man through work and there has been a LOT of flirting. It’s all rather fun and exciting and might just go somewhere, which will be nice after a long dry spell. I told my good friend and the first words out of her mouth were “need to lose a few pounds first though”.

My DM's friend who hadn't seen me for a few years,
'Oh you're so slim, you used to be fat'

Bloody hell, some of you have some really horrible friends and family members.

@BaggiesBride they sound like complete **cks. To quote Michelle Obama "when they do low we go high". Rise above it. You're better than that, don't pay attention to the views of fools

I’ve been on the heavier side since I was 11 and have a few.

I was badly bullied the first year of secondary school (a lot of name calling but also physical - a boy once smashed my head against a locker). I just comfort ate my way through the trauma. No calling me Little Miss Piggy did not help me lose weight. Luckily my mum worked out how miserable I was and moved me. But I have been an emotionally eater since.

I was cycling home from work about 25 weeks pregnant, minding my own business in a cycle lane. A male taxis driver pulled up and screamed fat cunt in my face. Out of nowhere, I mean where does all this anger come from?

I live overseas and contracted a nasty infectious disease. Nearly died - my body was completely wrecked and the number of compliments I got for my weight loss was unreal. It took me months to feel better and get back to anywhere near normal activity levels. It did just make me feel very sad.

Not fat shamed as such but my mum has always had issues with food and was constantly on a cycle of dieting and undereating ("don't give me too much/"I shan't eat all that/just a small portion for me" whenever you cook for her, still in her late 70's). I first joined weight watchers with her at about 14/15, when I was a little cuddly but nothing I wouldn't have grown out of, and have had very low self esteem over my weight/body every since. I hate eating in front of my mum as I feel she is judging me as a result of her own issues (she might not be but that's how I feel).

I am a size 12/14, as I have been most of my life and I run regularly but do not have a healthy relationship with food and I think this is why. I remember growing up that we would never have much in the way of 'treats' in the house and no matter how quietly I tried to get a packet of (low fat) crisps from the cupboard now and again, my mum would hear me from 2 rooms away and ask what I was doing.

I have been so careful not to repeat the cycle with my dc. My mum has no idea of how her own issues with food and weight have affected me and I'm sure would be mortified if she did.

Non really when I was really obese with a BMI of 40. Now I have a BMi of 24 people like to throw a little dig in, my mil asked me about my loose skin and I could do with losing another half a stone. I think it's to bring your confidence down.

Passing through an automatic barrier on the Tube it closed on me. I squeaked ‘Ooh my bottom’ and was rescued and released by a giggling underground worker chap.

@Notbeinfunnehbut she's a teacher ..

My late dad said "oh you are so hefty, not lovely and slim like your mother" I was young at the time - 30 years of screwed up eating and anxiety about my weight and my self-worth followed, years of going to Weightwatchers judging myself by the number on the scale which I felt reflected my worth as a person - a lower number and I would feel like I mattered, a number that I did not like and I felt worthless and shattered.
Anxiety about eating out, over-exercising, depression all sorts.

I had an awful male manager once who used to constantly tell me that yoga will help with my weight (I never mentioned my weight!) I was a size 14 at the time! My mum came to work at the same place and the manager and his buddy started laughing at me saying “your Mum has a better figure than you!”

Honestly one of the most toxic places I have ever worked, caused me a lot of distress but pleased to say I no longer work there and now work for an amazing company where this behaviour would be unheard of!

I was counting people without a cognitive impairment. At my work I used to be regularly called a fat cunt by a patient with a brain injury. He recently said after I lost 6 stone "you have a cracking figure for an old bird" I'm 29 and he's nearly 60 🤣🤣 you have just got to laugh sometimes.

I don't think that's really about fat-shaming. I would say that's more deep misogynism. If he didn't say anything about weight, he would have chosen something else to attack. It's revolting and I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm not surprised it hurt you. It's around that saying 'women don't realise how much men really hate them'.

I got to the third page and had to stop reading. As someone who has struggled with their body image/weight their entire life these stories are heartbreaking.