The most outrageous way you’ve been fat shamed?

[Notbeinfunnehbut]

This is in part inspired by a TikTok video and it made me laugh so much that I thought that a similar thread here might get some interesting responses,
keep it civil please obviously post what you want but don’t be attacking posters for their lived experiences

I also think these things really highlight how people who are rude to the overweight are rarely doing it out of concern

Ok I’ll go, my grandma only lets certain people in the family sit on some vintage chairs at the bottom of the garden , as they “aren’t as sturdy as my other chairs” me , husband and my mum are not allowed on the chairs 🙈

My mother remarking “still got a bit of a tummy then” and rubbing me like a bloody Buddha two WEEKS after I’d given birth to my second baby. That was the first of three comments (each with accompanying rub) that she made about my weight that day.

This resonates from the opposite comment I got from my first ever boyfriend. He said 'it's a shame you've got such small tits because fat girls normally have big ones and at least that would be something nice to look at'

He made that comment 25 years ago and I still remember it word for word.

There is a bridge in my hometown that is notorious for people jumping from when in a mental health crisis.
I went there, and the bridge staff saw me struggle to climb over the wall. They pulled me away and called the police.
I got told "someone even larger than you managed it last week".

Side note- most of my size 8-10 tops still fit me when I was heavily pregnant and I was already back in my pre-pregnancy jeans.

Total disgrace shame on that person!

When I was 7 we had portraits taken at school. The teacher showed them to us one by one. Everyone said "Ahhh!" At the girls and laughed at the boys. Except me. They laughed at my photo. I was not a pretty girl because I was fatter than them.

All these posts are so distressing. The number of posters who have had such unkind comments from their parents. It is as if the worst thing any woman can do - and, let’s face it, it is women who are generally treated to this nastiness - is to be overweight. Criminals would appear to be treated more sympathetically than women who put on a few kilos. I would imagine that everyone who has posted here makes the best of themselves. I can remember a talk show years ago where the topic was whether or not larger ladies can be attractive. The general consensus was that of course they can but there was a very ordinary looking middle-aged man who felt free to give his opinion on how they could not possibly be and how could they let themselves go etc. A lady behind him said: “what makes you think that you are in a position to tell others how to be more attractive, Baldy.” The whole studio erupted in gales of laughter. Good for her.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. No mention of “fat” with any sort of negativity. Any body shaming is coming the poster herself.

It’s a five year old playing round with his mum. Same as blowing raspberries on his belly. Thats his favourite woman in the world and she has a roll or two. And?

I'm a healthy weight but was told by a beautician that you have big breasts which makes you look much fatter than you actually are.
My dad also once looked at my stomach and said I've never seen that fat roll on you before, sort it out. I had a tiny bit of bloating and was 8 1/2 stone.
A taxi driver once said I was chunky and stocky and nobody would mess with me. I was a size 8.

@howdoesatoastermaketoast I'm so sorry you were put throught that. I'm a nurse and I would never dream off making assumptions and would only offer advice if asked. So sorry. You can if you want contract PALs - as it's very apparent that nurse needs education on approach to patients.

If you go again, and you don't want to be weighed, which is your right. They can do an MUAC mesaurent - which measures your arm and gives a rough BMI inidcation. I used this for paitents when they can't be weighed or prefer not to be.

As a nurse (admittily obese) my main concern with weight - is sudden changes.

Keep doing what your doing if it makes you happy.

It's a short comment but as they say there's a lot to unpack

1. "short"? I dunno, life is short.
2. "unsuccessful" This suggests that achieving and maintaining a heathy BMI is the only criteria which would make eating a healthy diet and going to the gym worth doing. Are these things not good in and of themselves? I know what I wanted to achieve but I'm not in the mood to share it with you.
3. "which one of you was right though?" well it seems to me that the only difference of opinion was "you're not telling the truth" and I know I was.

I'm fat, I've been fat my entire adult life. I'm over being shamed or apologising for it and have been for decades. Sometimes I've had a healthier lifestyle sometimes I've had an unhealthier lifestyle. Even when I had a healthy lifestyle I still looked very fat to her (and I'm sure you) my point was you can't tell how healthy someone's lifestyle IS by appearance (or BMI) alone, you need the contextual information of which way the numbers are trending.

Thanks for your comment, it was a long time ago and frankly I was fine even as I was leaving. When my mental health is good I can lose weight, if it's lousy I put weight on, at that particular point I was in really good MH but she'd clearly brought her hang ups to work.

I think that you were being a bit disingenuous with her then. You were rather smugly implying that she was a bit thick to not believe that you lived the lifestyle of a far slimmer person, but you weren’t, you were trying to suggest to her that that was how you normally lived, not that it was how you were living for a few months.

Had you been honest you’d have told her that in general you did eat, drink and exercise exactly as sh was assuming but that at the moment you were doing better and so were losing weight.

"I think that you were being a bit disingenuous with her then." Hmm this is an interesting and not entirely unfair perspective. If someone asks you "What do you eat for breakfast?" What is the timeframe that you feel the answer should cover. I accurately described the breakfast that I as a working adult living with my husband and in control of my own groceries and kitchen would eat before work but did not describe the breakfast which I as a miserable teenager would have eaten 10 years before. Would it be a normal interpretation of this question to give a 10 year history?

"rather smugly" I'm not going to change your opinion by talking to you I don't think but fair to say this is not how I would characterise my post or feelings

"she's a bit thick" no I think what I was implying which you come right out and say thank you, is that she saw my lifestyle, which was my lifestyle (at that time and for years before and years afterwards) as a lifestyle 'of a far slimmer person' I think she (and you) didn't think a person as fat as I was could or should have a healthy lifestyle. There was a cognitive dissonance that was uncomfortable for her. "but you weren’t," other than your own assumptions what evidence do you possibly have for this? Whose lifestyle do you think I was describing some of her questions were extremely explicit "what did you eat yesterday? How many times did you go to the gym last week? I answered honestly (in my opinion)

(Genuine question 'cos maybe I am wrong?) does answering the question how many times did you go to the gym last week accurately require a caveat of but that isn't how often I've been to the gym every week in my entire life? I certainly accept that when I first put the weight on I was living a very different and far less healthy lifestyle had she have asked about that I would have told her but she didn't.

"Had you been honest you’d have told her that in general you did eat, drink and exercise exactly as sh was assuming" See other than phrasing it differently I see your point - but I suppose you're thinking of it as a kind of lying by omission. I knew there was a bit of the puzzle she didn't / wasn't getting. Filling her in did occur to me at the time, but I didn't feel a need to apologise explain or justify myself to someone who was being (to my opinion) really quite rude to me. Had she explained it in terms of trying to take a medical history and been open and friendly I would have given her more details (as I had /have to numerous other medical professionals before and since) but she lost me with snide and unjustified implications that I was lying so I wasn't much inclined to explain myself to her and answer questions she hadn't asked.

Again your use of 'in general' here is unclear to me. How long (in your opinion) does a person have to live a certain way before it does become fair for them to think of it as their life/lifestyle.

It would be as true to say that 'in general' I was single living with my parents but those wouldn't have been in any way a true representation of how I was living at that time.

But y'know you're free to think I'm smug and weird (and fat) and certainly no I don't always tell everyone everything about myself. I don't tend to accept that as dishonest.

I was size 8 top and size 12 hips (wide hip bones) and bought a size 14 wetsuit (as I was prewarned they run small due to needing to be tight) and it wouldnt zip up or even go over my shoulders which are broad... wetsuits are definately not like 'street clothes' sizes.

Too many to list, but the most regular offender is my best friend's husband who just happens to be a vicar🙄not very Godly in my eyes.

I will also say though that these body type change by decade/generation.

I find it strange so many people saying their parents/grandparents accused them of being fat at size 8-12 because my grandmother (who was a very slim old lady at a size 4-6) was mortally offended if anyone had the audacity to call her skinny.

In her mind that was one of the biggest insults anyone could say about you, she grew up in the 40s and 50s though where curves and being 'shapely' where the desired womanly look.

@Ohthatsexciting my DM is like that. Fortunately for her she has no contact with any relatives and has no friends. So the chairs sit in perfect order around the empty table.

Like what?

Body shape plays a lot into it too, when younger there where points where me and my 3 best friends where all 10st yet we looked so wildly different.

Me - Faux hourglass (really broad shoulders, hips, no boobs tiny waist... I carry my fat in my bum and thighs which people dont seem to notice - I wore size 8 top and size 12 bottom)

Friend 1 - True hour glass (average boobs, hips, belly, small waist... because she carried weight on her hips her lower stomach as it joined her hips had a 'roll' - wore size 12 top and size 14 bottom)

Friend 2 - Stright up and down (complete equal distribution of body fat wore size 6-8 both top and bottom)

Friend 3 - Apple/lollypop shape (long skinny legs, skinny arms, virtually no bum but huge boobs... carried a lot of weight in the waist/stomach area - wore size 8 jeans and 'XL' mens/unisex tshirts)

Friend 1 and 3 where regularly called 'Fat' by people where as me and friend 2 where called skinny.

Its just so insane that with the same lifestyle, eating the same foods (we all lived together) and at the same weight we all looked very different and wore different sizes.

I've been thinking about this quite a lot recently and then stumbled across this thread. In particular how it's always been men who have fat shamed me. I've never been above a size 12-14 but have had some awful comments.

Guy who was hounding me to go out with him said fat girls don't get to be picky

Group of guys as I got on a boat- whoa we've got a big one coming here

Guy I went on a date with after meeting in a bar- there's a lot more of you then I remember

Ex boyfriend- I'm the skinny one, you're the fat one, that's just the way it is babe

Ah thought of a woman actually- when trying on wedding dresses she said I might find it difficult to find anything to fit me as you're on the bigger side - I was a very small size 12 at this point

No wonder I've struggled with my weight and appearance my whole life!

Wedding dress shopping is absolute hell is your anything above a 10

Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry. What utter, utter arseholes.

These posts are so upsetting. I’ve had comments made to me all my life by family members and complete strangers - luckily I’m extremely confident, assertive and have no problems telling people to fuck off.
One thing that has struck me about a lot of these posts is that people are saying “I wouldn’t mind/it wouldn’t be so bad/I would understand if XYZ” and I just want to say NO. There is NO excuse for people making disgusting comments about your body. You dont owe anyone thinness, you don’t owe anyone attractiveness (though of course you don’t have to be thin to be attractive!). People shouldn’t feel so fucking emboldened to be such complete dickheads. Shame these people for speaking to you like that every time. Your body is none of their business.

Yes everyone is staying their size as if it would be okay if they were larger. It wouldn't