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The most outrageous way you’ve been fat shamed?

291 replies

Notbeinfunnehbut · 13/07/2022 13:11

This is in part inspired by a TikTok video and it made me laugh so much that I thought that a similar thread here might get some interesting responses,
keep it civil please obviously post what you want but don’t be attacking posters for their lived experiences

I also think these things really highlight how people who are rude to the overweight are rarely doing it out of concern

Ok I’ll go, my grandma only lets certain people in the family sit on some vintage chairs at the bottom of the garden , as they “aren’t as sturdy as my other chairs” me , husband and my mum are not allowed on the chairs 🙈

OP posts:
Sidisawetlettuce · 14/07/2022 14:20

DuckiePancake · 14/07/2022 11:25

My DS(5) squeezes my tummy when I'm getting dressed and makes it move like a mouth while saying 'look! It's Tina the talking tummy!'.

To be fair though he does give me a cuddle when I'm upset about my weight gain bless him.

Why don't you tell him to stop? He'll grow up thinking it's acceptable to comment on people's size.

Sidisawetlettuce · 14/07/2022 14:21

DuckiePancake · 14/07/2022 11:25

My DS(5) squeezes my tummy when I'm getting dressed and makes it move like a mouth while saying 'look! It's Tina the talking tummy!'.

To be fair though he does give me a cuddle when I'm upset about my weight gain bless him.

Why don't you tell him to stop? He'll grow up thinking it's acceptable to comment on people's size.

Sidisawetlettuce · 14/07/2022 14:21

DuckiePancake · 14/07/2022 11:25

My DS(5) squeezes my tummy when I'm getting dressed and makes it move like a mouth while saying 'look! It's Tina the talking tummy!'.

To be fair though he does give me a cuddle when I'm upset about my weight gain bless him.

Why don't you tell him to stop? He'll grow up thinking it's acceptable to comment on people's size.

MintyGreenDreams · 14/07/2022 14:24

When dh grandparents looked at me in horror after seeing me post birth and asked if everything was OK physically as I looked 3 months pregnant.I sobbed as soon as I left.

GCHeretic · 14/07/2022 14:24

BeggarsMeddle · 14/07/2022 12:31

moonlight1705 · Today 09:55

John Lewis recently called me up to cancel my personal shopping experience as they would nothing in store to fit me. I am a size 18/20 so big but not completely unusual.

A few weeks ago I nipped in to M&S to get some summer tops assuming that would be my best chance of getting something in my size in the small town. There was naff all in size 22. Asked at the till and was told I can order larger sizes online.

I conclude they don't want people who wear larger sizes spoiling the 'naice ambiance'. Happy to take the hint.

They rarely have stock in for slimmer women either. I’m a 6 or an 8 (more likely 6 in M&S) and it’s very hard to find much in my size in the shop. I’ve just had to get used to buying online instead.

mosesb · 14/07/2022 14:36

*DuckiePancake
My DS(5) squeezes my tummy when I'm getting dressed and makes it move like a mouth while saying 'look! It's Tina the talking tummy!'.

To be fair though he does give me a cuddle when I'm upset about my weight gain bless him.

Why don't you tell him to stop? He'll grow up thinking it's acceptable to comment on people's size.*

Also why are you showing him that you're upset about your size? Would you do that in front of a girl? You need to be a role model

newfriend05 · 14/07/2022 14:37

notacooldad · 14/07/2022 13:08

Was told by my Mum that if I didn't stop eating I would end up on Jerry Springer getting winched out of my house by a crane.

Awful.
I've got enough stories from my mum and my weight to keep a newly qualified therapist going until their retirement, such is my mum's obsession with my weight! I'm nearer 60 than 50 and she still goes on about it!
I was weighged weekly when I was about 13. My mum told me that dad watched me walking down the street with two friends that called for me and he said 'god, you should see the size of cooldad's arse, it is like this '....... and then waved her hands about to demonstrate a huge wobbly bum!
At my grandad's funeral I was last to arrive and mum said later ' Oh my god, me and your dad can't believe the state of you in that dress, you look massive, my god!!!!' I bloody loved that dress and paid £250 for it. I never wore it again.
The comments go on and on and I get flashes of things that have been said over the last 45 years and have learned to live with them.

I have put weight on over the last 3 years and had gone up to a 16 but now at a 14 (5ft 5) but when I was about 22 I went down to 7stone 8lbs and looked really ill. Mum said I was too thin!!

I have a husband that tells me I look great and has loved me unconditionally for over 30 years. I have friends that make me feel important to them and don't put me down. I have sons' that pull me up if I say negative things about myself. I consider myself ''blessed'' despite the bullshit I still listen to when I have a conversation with my mother!

Blimey! It was rather cathartic writing that!

I could of wrote this .. my mum was a complete bitch about everything on me .. I now Think of her as narcissistic. And my siblings can finally see it as well too

HelenRose1111 · 14/07/2022 14:39

In the pub many years ago on a Friday lunchtime (I don't drink) - asked what drink I would like, i replied: "Diet Coke please"
My immediate boss (sad single 30something); "Well that's not working is it?"

I was so gobsmacked I didn't reply but made an excuse to go off to the loo and cried my eyes out. It was over 20 years ago now but I still remember how much it hurt.

SleepCheeseBeer · 14/07/2022 14:41

I was called "Big Sleepcheesebeer" at work as there was a smaller Sleepcheesebeer who worked there.

I was a size 12 and 5ft8.

TheGreatBobinsky · 14/07/2022 14:45

SleepCheeseBeer · 14/07/2022 14:41

I was called "Big Sleepcheesebeer" at work as there was a smaller Sleepcheesebeer who worked there.

I was a size 12 and 5ft8.

I'm absolutely not saying that is right but I've had a similar situation twice because the other people who were referred to as 'big' were 5'5 and 5'8 (both are actually slimmer than I am) and I'm 4'11. So nothing to do with weight, just height. (Not that I think it's nice to be referred to as big/small anyway).

Immitchell · 14/07/2022 14:49

PortalooSunset · 14/07/2022 10:04

Possibly by my GP this week. I have pyelonephritis, she asked was I eating and drinking. I said I was drinking loads of water but not eating much as I didn't have an appetite. She said good, drinking was a good idea and she wouldn't be worried if I didn't eat anything at all. I asked in a jokey way was it because I had plenty to spare (am v overweight) and she replied matter of fact "no, I'd say the same to a skinny person"

Wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry!

This will be because the number of people who panic of their appetite is low for a couple of days is significant. We all say exactly this to anyone - including parents of children who are constantly (in our area at least) trying to feed their children fried chicken just after they've stopped vomiting. It's just a way of explaining that almost no one over the age of 2 is going to come to any harm from not eating for a couple of days. You probably sounded as though you were trying to reassure her you were eating something and she will have been trying to explain that it really didn't matter at all but that drinking was essential...

Garysparrowsthirdwife · 14/07/2022 14:51

There’s been a row going on forever at work
(both women are about a size 18)
lady A turned round and said ‘god lady B dresses like she’s a size 4-she needs to find clothes that fit’
Lady B just lost it (rightly so)
it’s been going on for months

my mothers friend (size 4/6) at my brothers wedding
nods at me ‘you pregnant?’
me-‘no’
friend-‘well you’ve porked right out in the last few months’
my mother (a size 32 at the time) laughed like a drain-and so did her sisters (all above a size 22)

i wasn’t surprised-her only aims for me in life where to get married (failed) have kids (managed that) and if I had to get a job,it was to be a waitress (opps,I failed again)

oh,and I was to stay skinny at all times-a size 14 was massive to her-my brains just don’t matter-when I went back to college and passed all my exams and gained my qualification she sniffed and muttered that ‘she’ll be too fat to stand on her feet all day long’ and ‘who wants a fat hairdresser?’

Wombat27A · 14/07/2022 15:11

GlitteryGreen · 14/07/2022 12:34

I went to a raft-building thing as part of a friend's hen and we all had to queue up for a wetsuit at the start. Everyone else was giving their size once they reached the front, but when I got there the woman just yelled out "XL" and handed me my wetsuit...I was mortified, my friend was stood right next to me and I was only a size 12-14.

That's quite usual. The biggest size in fitness (Crossfit-type shorts and stuff) and anything neoprene like wetsuits was a 12 until recently.

LOMO is proud they have more size-inclusive stuff now.

I think all the bigger women wild swimming have helped broaden ranges but it's traditionally been miserable.

Wombat27A · 14/07/2022 15:14

And other companies are probably better now but I've not bought a wetsuit in a while.

denbigh · 14/07/2022 16:12

My parents controlled what I ate from when I was about 6. My older sister was and still is very underweight so I looked bigger in comparison (I wasnt overweight just healthy) to push the point home they would buy her burgers and ice creams.. would have to watch her eat. I wasnt allowed certain foods..(bread, eggs ). As deemed to fattening but my sister was allowed to eat whatever she wanted . Never allowed seconds, or snacks. I developed anorexia aged 12 which really pissed them off..I realized then was more about controlling me then any regard for my "welfare".
I'm a happy size 10/12 now, have had bouts of anorexia with depression, but thankfully I learnt to like myself after years of thinking I was disgusting

BaggiesBride · 14/07/2022 16:22

Moonshine 💐 Thank you so much for your reply 💐This thread makes for some uncomfortable reading, it's shocking.

Topseyt123 · 14/07/2022 17:10

DuckiePancake · 14/07/2022 11:25

My DS(5) squeezes my tummy when I'm getting dressed and makes it move like a mouth while saying 'look! It's Tina the talking tummy!'.

To be fair though he does give me a cuddle when I'm upset about my weight gain bless him.

I'd be telling him bluntly to stop that immediately.

It might seem cute now while he is still so young but it won't be when he is older. Also, he really needs to understand that grabbing people's tummies and making comments like that is never OK.

whenindoubtgotothelibrary · 14/07/2022 17:13

HelloBunny · Yesterday 23:23

My mum would do the opposite with clothes, Grimoven. She always gifts me Large knickers & size 16 PJs, even though I’m a 10-12. Asks if they’re big enough, every time...

Same. When I was a size 6 thirty years ago DM would buy me things in a size 12-14. Thankfully she doesn't try to buy me clothes any more now that I'm a 'huge' 10-12. Being fat is the worst possible thing in DM's world.

It's really not very funny - both my sister and I had eating disorders as teenagers and into our twenties, and I'd say we both still tend to measure our self-worth by how much we weigh. DF was even worse - am more or less nc now, but I actually can't bring myself to think about some of the awful things he used to say to me growing up, especially now my own dc are in their teens and twenties. (e.g. nickname for me aged 10: 'Her royal fatness'. I was actually very underweight, but even if I hadn't been it was am absolutely terrible thing to say to a child, even in the unenlightened 1970s)

ldontWanna · 14/07/2022 17:14

Another one. Mum sent me to a predator math tutor despite hearing the rumours and being warned. Her excuse? He was really good and had great results plus she thought I'd be safe because I'm fat. I wasn't. :)

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 14/07/2022 18:29

'assessment' with practice nurse when I changed gps. Had to have weigh in and height measure to calculate bmi - but woman was making her opinion clear before she'd actually got to a number.

Having determined that I was in fact a baby elephant she then began an inquisition into what I ate and how often I exercised. I have no problem with reality but the first thing that kind of strayed into offensive was the assumption somehow that 'you're fat' would somehow be new information.

She expected me to be shamed by the weigh in but I wasn't I was delighted because I'd lost a good four to six pounds since I'd last weighed myself. Because I was losing weight. Because I was eating a moderate amount of healthy food and going to the gym every night after work. But she didn't ask about that she just launched into intense questioning and was openly skeptical of my answers growing more and more hostile as I persistently gave 'the right' answers to her questions and frustrating her desire to give me a lecture / 'advice'.

I kept waiting for the penny to drop and for her to ask if I was losing weight but unbelievably she didn't, I knew I was being a bit contrary and stubborn but she was just so damn rude. After an hour she said and I quote "We may as well just stop if you aren't prepared to be honest" to which I just replied "Everything I've said is totally true, if you can't understand how these things can be true that's because you're not asking the right questions. But I agree there's no point in continuing, so I'll leave you with this. Clearly the advice you'd want to give me is to eat healthily and exercise so what is it that you think would happen if I did?"

Even that didn't result in a lightbulb moment so firmly embedded was the you're fat so you eat too much and don't exercise.

/smh. I could've just told her but honestly as it started to become apparent she wasn't going to ask I didn't like her very much.

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 14/07/2022 18:52

Maireas · 14/07/2022 07:39

What awful experiences.
I'm going to say not just fat shaming, but a large dose of misogyny as well.
How dare a woman not be teeny tiny and a shrinking violet!

oh hell yes - the last time I was a size 8 is probably when I was 8 but it amazes me how even average heathy weight women still get so much shit.

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 14/07/2022 19:23

It's just bullying, saying whatever based on hoping, expecting that it'll make you feel bad about yourself and they feel better and in control of the situation.

GCHeretic · 14/07/2022 19:29

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 14/07/2022 18:29

'assessment' with practice nurse when I changed gps. Had to have weigh in and height measure to calculate bmi - but woman was making her opinion clear before she'd actually got to a number.

Having determined that I was in fact a baby elephant she then began an inquisition into what I ate and how often I exercised. I have no problem with reality but the first thing that kind of strayed into offensive was the assumption somehow that 'you're fat' would somehow be new information.

She expected me to be shamed by the weigh in but I wasn't I was delighted because I'd lost a good four to six pounds since I'd last weighed myself. Because I was losing weight. Because I was eating a moderate amount of healthy food and going to the gym every night after work. But she didn't ask about that she just launched into intense questioning and was openly skeptical of my answers growing more and more hostile as I persistently gave 'the right' answers to her questions and frustrating her desire to give me a lecture / 'advice'.

I kept waiting for the penny to drop and for her to ask if I was losing weight but unbelievably she didn't, I knew I was being a bit contrary and stubborn but she was just so damn rude. After an hour she said and I quote "We may as well just stop if you aren't prepared to be honest" to which I just replied "Everything I've said is totally true, if you can't understand how these things can be true that's because you're not asking the right questions. But I agree there's no point in continuing, so I'll leave you with this. Clearly the advice you'd want to give me is to eat healthily and exercise so what is it that you think would happen if I did?"

Even that didn't result in a lightbulb moment so firmly embedded was the you're fat so you eat too much and don't exercise.

/smh. I could've just told her but honestly as it started to become apparent she wasn't going to ask I didn't like her very much.

Who turned out to be right though, are you now back to a healthy BMI, or did you see her during a short but ultimately unsuccessful lifestyle change?

sammylady37 · 14/07/2022 19:55

I have many examples, as I spent a lot of years obese.

Some examples are:

my sister (with whom I’m now NC) spending an entire summer refusing to use my name and instead calling me ‘porky’. She was an adult, home from uni for the summer, I was an 11 year old child.

a primary school teacher, who was calling each child individually up to her desk and handing us our school photos, looking at mine and laughing, in front of the whole class

a man making ‘wide load, reversing’ beeping noises as I went past

a man jeering ‘here’s our biggest supporter’ as I went into a football stadium

a man who ran up behind me, grabbed my hips, then held out his arms, my hip-width apart and said something along the lines of ‘Jesus Christ look how wide she is’ to his friends, who all jeered

a man who commented on me drinking Diet Coke, telling me that the diet ship had sailed. I drink Diet Coke because I like the taste of it, not because of the calorie content.

a man who, the morning after a one night stand, told me he wouldn’t be seeing me again because he didn’t like fucking elephants. He looked a bit confused when I asked him if he was using fucking as a verb or an adjective.

that’s a brief sample, I could describe hundreds more.

i have since lost weight and am no longer obese, or overweight. All the people in my examples above are undoubtedly still assholes though, who are so pathetic that they feel good by taking time out of their day to mock a stranger. It’s a sad life, tbh.

VaddaABeetch · 14/07/2022 19:59

My mother in her coffin. A few elderly ladies commented that her outfit made her look ‘lovely & slim’.

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