What happened to my son

[MySon]

My son has told me that he is transgender. This means that, at the age of 23 he sees himself as a woman.

My son says that the name we gave him is his 'dead' name.

My question is - what happened to my son. Did he die?

I feel like I am grieving but not allowed to show or process my grief. What happened to my son, is he dead?

I understand but I doubt there is really a choice if they truly feel they need to live as a woman. It’s not exactly the easiest of changes and will bring with it a lot of bigotry and other potential issues. personally I think people who live as transgenders are very brave and therefore it must be very important.

Well, no one can force the OP to do it. She could refuse; she has a choice. However, she will have to accept that her child has a choice too - and may choose to say ‘If you don’t accept me as I am, I no longer want contact with you’. The OP had to decide which matters more to her - making an issue of highlighting the past, or the future.

Op

am Imcorrwct in thinking he doesn’t have a job or if he does, he doesn’t enjoy?

he doesn’t have a social group?

he doesn’t have any hobbies?

does he still live with you?

So on a practical level what do you think is the answer? What should the OP do? Or what should her off spring do?

I think we’ve established you feel gender issues are a mental health condition so no point in arguing about that. But I am interested to know what would you do?

23 years old is not too old for social contagion.
There's a Twitter feed here by a young man who transitioned and has now detransitioned. He has a blog and describes the social contagion. It's heavy reading and may be best saved for later.
twitter.com/TullipR?t=n9WpWV2g0wiet9xSIMo4cw&s=09

Half a dozen posts down he shares the similar story of another young man.

Someone has mentioned the support group for parents. - bayswater

There's also the gender:a wider lense podcast which looks at many different aspects from different points of view and is very down to earth.

Take your time, go slowly and most of all maintain your connection with your son.
Sending love and support to you all.