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The worst thing about having no money

416 replies

letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 18/06/2022 14:16

is after a hard week at work you look at your bank balance and not only have you no money but you are overdrawn you can't go out and enjoy yourself or even buy yourself a tiny treat or buy any food without worrying about being in debt, you don't know how you're going to pay the electricity bill and any bit of joy or creativity has been sapped out of you you feel anxious and overwhelmed most of the time and you are so tired so tired you can't get dressed and you can't stop crying at everything

OP posts:
Trogbog · 18/06/2022 14:20

I agree.

so many people have no idea what it’s like to have no money.

and for me that was one of the worst things. People just don’t get it.

Trogbog · 18/06/2022 14:21

I’m sorry things are so hard for you OP. Flowers

letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 18/06/2022 14:23

Thanks People just don’t get it

OP posts:
MadMadMadamMim · 18/06/2022 14:25

I used to get the rage with my DM who made 'helpful' comments like You really ought to have some savings you know! You ought to put something aside every month for a 'rainy day'.

It was fucking pouring down every week as far as I was concerned. No shit, Sherlock! It never occurred to me it would be preferable to have money left over each month.

I'm sorry you're struggling OP. It's shit.

D0lphine · 18/06/2022 14:29

I think the stress it brings.

When you have nothing in the bank you have to calculate every single little thing. You become like a human calculator! Even things like medicine / sanpro / shampoo is a nightmare.

Also saying "no" to social things because you can afford a £3 coffee or a £4 bottle of wine to take to a friends... so isolating.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 18/06/2022 14:35

And knowing that the next week is going to be same. Knowing all the steps you can take to change the situation, require money to be able to enact them. The exact thing you don’t have but need, in order to get more. People not realising that the smallest amount of money would actually mean the world to you - and yes I’m talking about even £1. Utterly soul destroying.

Circumferences · 18/06/2022 14:35

Yep...

Worst thing for me is I can't afford to get my bike fixed, and travelling by bike was a money saver!!
Infuriating.

Agree with having to turn down social activities by coming up with an excuse. Embarrassing.

OP, do you think anything will improve for you?
Do you expect a slight turnaround? Or are you feeling not so optimistic? Because losing hope is a real torment.

WeDoNotTalktoPennilynLott · 18/06/2022 14:38

MadMadMadamMim · 18/06/2022 14:25

I used to get the rage with my DM who made 'helpful' comments like You really ought to have some savings you know! You ought to put something aside every month for a 'rainy day'.

It was fucking pouring down every week as far as I was concerned. No shit, Sherlock! It never occurred to me it would be preferable to have money left over each month.

I'm sorry you're struggling OP. It's shit.

Yes! My DM says helpful little gems like "You need to learn to manage your money better!" The fact my bills come to more than the money I actually get and I don't even have Sky or anything I can cut back on, just bills like energy, water, mobile (for internet, not contract, £8 a month with giffgaff) etc leaving very little for food isn't a case of "managing my money better" 🙄

IAmSantaOhYesIAm · 18/06/2022 14:38

Yea it’s isolating but for me it’s not having the money for the kids to do stuff that their friends are doing, and saying no to them all the time. Id love to be able to just say yes of course you can go - no problem.

Allmyfavouritepeople · 18/06/2022 14:39

Yup it drags on as well. Most people who think they can relate are usually intentionally being frugal to save up for something so not only do they have an end point to look forward to but a reward of achieving whatever they're saving for.
There's no payoff when it's just about survival and it's soul destroying.
Solidarity op. You're not alone.

ImFree2doasiwant · 18/06/2022 14:40

@letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 people just not understanding at ALL. A

letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 18/06/2022 14:41

I’m trying - I’ve trained to do something for myself on top of my day job but I’m not making any money from it at the moment and it’s hard to keep going - just feeling so bad today - maybe it’s the effects of Covid

OP posts:
mbosnz · 18/06/2022 14:44

I'm angry and frustrated on all your behalves. It's fucking shit.

letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 18/06/2022 14:44

IAmSantaOhYesIAm · 18/06/2022 14:38

Yea it’s isolating but for me it’s not having the money for the kids to do stuff that their friends are doing, and saying no to them all the time. Id love to be able to just say yes of course you can go - no problem.

thats horrible - if I ever make any money I’ll send you some for your kids OP x

OP posts:
glowbabe · 18/06/2022 14:45

Yet people say money can't buy happiness . In some circumstances yes it can .

ImFree2doasiwant · 18/06/2022 14:45

A friend telling me "we haven't got much money" having been away to 3 theme parks and hotels at half term, off to Disney florida in a couple of months, child goes to a holiday time activity at 140quid a week , 2 more holidays abroad booked, ....etc.

I posted about hair condition and just seen a reply about 3 x olaplex products at 60quid.

I won £50 recently and thought I'd order a £10 pizza for the DC as a treat while out. Miscommunication meant I paid £19 for 2 pizzas. Dc can't eat that much, I ate pizza for 2 days despite not liking it. I could have cried. I did, actually.

letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 18/06/2022 14:49

Allmyfavouritepeople · 18/06/2022 14:39

Yup it drags on as well. Most people who think they can relate are usually intentionally being frugal to save up for something so not only do they have an end point to look forward to but a reward of achieving whatever they're saving for.
There's no payoff when it's just about survival and it's soul destroying.
Solidarity op. You're not alone.

Friend came round last night - I had a bottle of wine left over from my birthday - I spent £2 on some crisps and I had to think 3 times about that - then at end of the evening when I’d been taking about salaries etc she said “ at your age you shouldn’t be struggling” (she’s retired) I know she meant it from a good place but it hurt my pride I felt rubbish

OP posts:
Justwingingit2005 · 18/06/2022 14:49

I listen to a work colleague saying 'Im skint'....
She has no mortgage, 4 holidays a year, designer stuff, eats out three times a week and has new sofa, furniture every year and recently admitted she has all new bathrooms and ensuite every 2 yrs as she 'likes a change'.

Ferrarilover · 18/06/2022 14:53

It's very hard, and there really ought to be a government policy for people to avoid poverty. A basic, realistic minimum wage for everyone. No one should have to worry about money for food, essential bills, transport and basic clothes.
The UK is fast becoming a third world country, if we're not there already.

Deathraystare · 18/06/2022 14:56

I do understand. I have been there. The only thing that saved me was a Boots points card which is what I paid for sanpro with. Fucking pisses me off having to pay for something we would not wish for!!

Mimilamore · 18/06/2022 14:57

Some people's money is very differ from others'
I've been at the NO money end of the stick and yes it is hard work and energy sapping...
Don't compare yourself to any of the all singing, all dancing parents though, usually leas to entitled kids. Your kids will appreciate what you do manage to do
When it gets unbeatable get to your nearest outside space even if it means crossing two dual carriageways and spend time in the outdoors.
Kids might moan at first but then as you decide to leave they will come up with a fabulous game they enjoy..
You might meet somebody for a chat too.
If you can get yourself a travel mug( mine was £2.00 in a sale) take tea/ coffee and a bottle of water l/ squash for the kids.
If you have a mate in same boat, go together, if you enjoy your own company ho alone. If nothing else you will all be tired when you get back and glad to get in!!! 🍀xxx

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 18/06/2022 14:57

I used to get the rage with my DM who made 'helpful' comments like You really ought to have some savings you know! You ought to put something aside every month for a 'rainy day'.

They were talking on Jeremy Vine's Radio 2 show last week about people in a deprived community in Rotherham, who had to have their £150 fuel 'rebate' paid via the council tax system to be sent out as a cheque, as they didn't have direct debits set up.

In fact, DDs are one of those things that sound like an absolute no-brainer if your bank account is always well in the black, but for many who might not be able to risk a DD going out two days before pay day and need a little more flexibility to pay manually, not so much. See also privileged people/workplaces who cannot possibly understand why you might struggle to pay a work expense upfront, because 'the company will pay you back every penny'.... yes, maybe several weeks later.

Anyway, as well as having to wait a lot longer for the cheques to be sent out than those with DDs had to wait to get theirs, they were then faced with having to wait several days for the cheque to clear, whilst they needed to buy food and other essentials NOW. This meant that many of them were driven to taking their cheques to a pawnbroker/cheque-cashing place, where they give you 85% of the cheque value instantly in cash, but take the other 15% as their commission.

They spoke to some idiot who (if I may coin a new word) Marieantoinettesplained that they would be much better advised to 'just' wait a few extra days, because "that way, they would benefit from the full amount". Like they were savages clamouring after a new handbag or a night at the pub rather than desperate not to see their kids go hungry or sit in the dark.

So that's what I would agree is one of the worst things about having no money: privileged people just not having (or caring to have) the vaguest understanding about what it's like and/or assuming you MUST be stupid or reckless with your money. In fact, whilst it is true that a lot of people (including some better off ones who manage to conceal it more easily) do struggle with budgeting and can greatly benefit from courses in it, the assumption is that EVERYBODY with too little money lacks any personal agency. Certainly, 'nobody intelligent would be struggling'. I'm rather guessing that that 'feed people for 30p' MP probably falls into this category. Why just be poor when you can be poor AND patronised, eh?

It reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons when, following a misunderstanding, Homer and Marge are sent on a compulsory 'parenting class' which included such 'gems' (with clear illustrations) as 'do NOT just throw your garbage out of the window - take it out and put it in the garbage can'.

ImFree2doasiwant · 18/06/2022 14:58

@Deathraystare Indeed, and made even worse by having horrendously long heavy periods, so using several times more sanpro than others.

11Hawkins · 18/06/2022 14:58

I'm so sorry things are so shit op. Flowers

I really struggled with my energy bills, I swapped to prepayment meters and weirdly I've found them cheaper as I'm paying for my usage only and can get ahead for winter by topping up slightly more in summer months. I really recommend it.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 18/06/2022 14:59

@Ferrarilover yes. I often wonder if political financial policy would be vastly different if every MP had to spend a minimum of a year living on the minimum benefits allowed to the uk citizen, before being allowed into parliament. Idle daydreaming..

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