The worst thing about having no money

[letsallmeetupinthehyear2000]

is after a hard week at work you look at your bank balance and not only have you no money but you are overdrawn you can't go out and enjoy yourself or even buy yourself a tiny treat or buy any food without worrying about being in debt, you don't know how you're going to pay the electricity bill and any bit of joy or creativity has been sapped out of you you feel anxious and overwhelmed most of the time and you are so tired so tired you can't get dressed and you can't stop crying at everything

You never know who's struggling unless they say something.
I remember having 13p in my account, luckily enough food in the freezer and long life milk in the cupboard to survive to payday and if I didn't go anywhere but work and back in the car the petrol would last. I was going to be OK till payday. I was a full time working qualified nurse in a good job. You just never know.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Oh Christ! Definitely a typo and a ‘not’ missing - hopefully my other posts make it clear this really isn’t what I meant!!

It's crap never having got a driving licence because I ran out of money before I could pass my test.

It's crap not having a degree because the funding rules changed and I couldn't afford to complete the third year.

It's crap never having been able to 'just do an evening class so you're more qualified' because you couldn't afford the fees.

It's crap hoping nobody checks your bag to find out you've nicked two toilet rolls from work.

It's crap being bollocked at work for your clothes not being as nice as the other woman your age because she has a loving and good earning husband and had a garden to dry clothes in, rather than an unheated flat.

It's crap when you are in pain because you've got a cheap pair of shoes that don't support your feet and your boss helpfully tells you that more expensive shoes are far more comfortable. Like her manolos.

It's crap to then smile and congratulate your colleague on her promotion and free training for a professional qualification because she clearly looked the part and you were told when you enquired about applying that it was a high profile position that requires a particular presentation...with the tone and implication that you weren't visually appealing enough to stand a chance compared to her and her perfectly swishy, expensively highlighted hair.

Hungry? Meh. Having to blob a bill or five. Did it for years. But to have every sniff of an opportunity denied you because you looked poor? That sucked.

Thanks so much, I did when I was first diagnosed and got £250 from them which was much appreciated and I used it to buy a new cooker as mine stopped working.
I also approached my energy company to reduce my elec (all elec) bill, the only way they would help was to send vouchers if I had a pre payment meter.... Still fuel poverty is affecting so many just now, but that is another thread!

@Circumferences

For bike fixing, do you have a library of things/tools anywhere near you? They are springing up in a few places, and have some knowledgable people as volunteers, and I think someone might help you for free.

Also the Dr Bike sessions are free if you have one near you www.cycleconfident.com/courses/dr-bike/

Sorry things are so tight. It is shit and inexcusable.

The worst part about such a grinding situation is knowing that none of the dicks (and dickesses) that we have in parliament gives even a flying whatsit about your life. They're too busy enjoying the 84k salary and the bars and restaurants that your tax money subsidises, so they can de-stress after a hard day's legislating (or playing Kandy Krush).

Not wanting to derail and turn this into a royal-bashing thread, but there really is something extraordinarily distasteful about masquerading as somebody who may not even be able to get themselves a bedsit, when you have multiple palaces available to you.

Plus, all of the companies clamouring to give valuable goods completely free of charge to one of the richest people in the whole world, because they consider it an enormous honour for the mega-rich to deign to accept their products.

Completely agree with you OP

My heart goes out to all those struggling. I remember those struggles. My ex left me with a ton of debt which took me nearly 20 years to recover from. raising the kids I would get helpful suggestions like. Take them to the beach, that's a free day out! right, great how do I get there? let me know where the free trains are. Or go feed the ducks. brill but if I use the bread I have to feed them then my carefully budgeted food bill is ruined because the bread has to last until the next shop. I can remember sobbing because my kids decided they didn't like the meal I had made and I had to use food earmarked for another day. In the end I slashed the back of the sofa to try and find coins that might have slipped down, just to buy some tuna and noodles so I would have enough meals to last until the next shop.
It scars you, the years and years of grinding away and watching your pay (and then some) disappear on the day it lands in the bank and you have a whole month ahead of you praying that you get no additional expenses, no birthdays, or parties or holes in school trousers, work collections or school mufti days.
I,m ok now but it definitely affected my psyche. I still have real trouble spending my disposable income because I can't bear to not have a buffer

@Merryoldgoat

Thanks - that's what I assumed! Everything else you said sounded so understanding and compassionate and then that bit jarred dissonantly in comparison!!

It's crap when you are in pain because you've got a cheap pair of shoes that don't support your feet and your boss helpfully tells you that more expensive shoes are far more comfortable. Like her manolos.

I presume her name isn't Samantha Vimes, then....

I never know what to say on these threads. It's shit OP. I am really sorry it is so shit and we are joining some kind of American race to the bottom for at least 40% of society. Remember it at voting time is all I can say.

The depression for me and living on a knife edge with regards to driving an old old car, with no money for a gear box or clutch and always on red. The constant threat of bailiff s for debt on electricity and gas bills. I could go on but it depresses me too much.

It's a horrible feeling that nobody can understand if they haven't been there.

Don't let anyone tell you it's in any way your fault.

OP it is shit. And I agree people do not understand. Even on this thread you can see some that clearly do not.
I always remember the thread on MN forms someone single and unemployed saying she was struggling. She said how much she got on benefits. There were multiple comments - that can't be right, and how can anyone manage on that. I knew it was right.

Does anybody remember the OP from a while back who (apparently well-meaning) lamented the fact that more people didn't 'simply' grow their own food, if they were struggling for money?

Aside from the fact that many of the poorest people live in flats with no gardens and are often run off their feet with minimum-wage jobs, childcare and other responsibilities, the best bit was how nonchalantly she was suggesting recipes that relied on 'cupboard' ingredients such as olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Not a scintilla of realisation that expensive ingredients don't just appear in your cupboard without originally being paid for and put in there at some stage.

I'm so sorry for all of those struggling. You're right - so many of have no experience of real poverty and don't understand the relentlessness of it.

I don't know if I'm allowed to do this (or if the link will work) but there's a GoFundMe page that helps people struggling with the cost of living.

gofund.me/9f834992

Yeah, well, nothing stopping them from having a couple of gro-bags indoors, is there? Is there?

They need to stop eating avocados. That'll free up the riches.

This thread has made me so sad. Im so sorry to read everyone's stories. Are food bank donations the best way for people to help, do you think? (From an individual rather than governmental point of view)

I understand, I’ve been there. For some reason the thing that really sticks with me more than trying to invent cheap meals is having no car because we couldn’t afford it, but also having times when I couldn’t afford the bus. And scouring pound shop type places for presents that wouldn’t look too shit.

I’ve been there. Not being able to afford food or fares to work. I remember being amazed that anyone had £2 to spend on a coffee at Starbucks etc. I also remember me and DH both working full time and not having the money to buy the DDs an ice lolly in the park. My stepfather bought us a cooker on a credit card when ours failed. At one point DH and I had no decent clothes or shoes to wear to work.

We are better off now, but for years I worried continually about money and getting through to the next payday. My heart goes out to anyone currently in that position.

I dread my son who is 15 needing new school uniform or home clothes. He needs a new school blazer for year 11, I'm trying to persuade him he can manage.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Thank you.

I also detest the ‘I worked really hard’ narrative. I’m sure [you] did, but harder than everyone else? Harder than my sons’ TAs who support their SEN? Harder than my cleaner who works every hour god sends? Harder than nurses? Social Workers?

I don’t. I get stressed and busy but I can pretty much tell my manager what I need, take time off for school stuff etc. I have a straightforward job that yes, I work hard at but my current position is down to a combination of luck, good fortune and hard work.

My friend said how hard we must’ve saved for our deposit. Nope. Luck. DH’s parents, unbeknownst to him, had put aside £40k for each child for a house deposit. Pure luck.

If it's any help, Morrisons now give free sanpro, if you ask at Customer
Services

We grew up poor, 1990s poor so no new shoes (my feet and toes are buggered) no trips out, jobs at 13 to buy food poor. It never leaves you and you don't forget. My direct report was booking some training and i checked he could afford to as expenses take a month to process. I do try to do food banks and charity when I can as its hard.

Charis grants may be worth a look @catzrulz