The worst thing about having no money

[letsallmeetupinthehyear2000]

is after a hard week at work you look at your bank balance and not only have you no money but you are overdrawn you can't go out and enjoy yourself or even buy yourself a tiny treat or buy any food without worrying about being in debt, you don't know how you're going to pay the electricity bill and any bit of joy or creativity has been sapped out of you you feel anxious and overwhelmed most of the time and you are so tired so tired you can't get dressed and you can't stop crying at everything

But we do have food. I know it could be worse.

Agree with this. Circumstances last few years have made me so isolated and I find the hardest thing to cope with is the zero choices that exist in life when you simply have no disposable income.
Things I was able to choose, participate in, opt for or say yes to without the blink of an eye when I was working full time are so far out of reach . This means social contacts diminish and you're just exhausted by the daily toll of just trying to keep going.
I do ask myself sometimes how long I'll be able to continue to do this it's beyond tiring it's soul destroying.
Sad to admit this really but it's true.

I saw this thing with a doctor talking about treating people for mental health as well as psychosomatic exacerbated illnesses, who was saying how difficult it is to treat people's mental health when they have money problems because it just can't be helped no matter how calm or positive you are.

I think it helps if you hang around with more people in your financial situation. At least they won't suggest expensive activities you can't do and you can have a good moan.

It's exhausting isn't it?
The constant worry, always trying to hide it, keep on the happy face whilst constantly counting every penny.

Its not just how much money you have coming in a few years ago i was working but needing housing benefit, i was allowed to earn £75 a week and then every penny after that was taken off my housing benefit but because there is a disparity between benefit level and actual private rent i lost £80 a month as i earned £20 a week too much so basically that left me with £55 a week for everything minus £12 a month to pay to council tax i had to cut everything to the bone, no mobile phone basic internet, no sky television, absolute minimum in the meters so heating on for half an hour just to take the edge off the cold house in winter , television license and water rates paid weekly £15 a week left to feed myself so a lot of things on toast, tinned soups, sandwich type meals, and absolutely no new clothes, shoes going out anywhere it is disheartening to live on that low a level of income and whats even more disgusting is basic benefits have not gone up from that level for single people in over ten years i dont know how people do life now i couldnt do now what i did then , luckily now my life is in a better place

It's just the relentless drudgery of lack of money isn't it?
Never being spontaneous or just being able to do something because you feel like it.
It's truly draining,physically and emotionally.

I get it op - agree lots of people on MN don't. We're comfortable now and I thank my lucky stars that we didn't have DS when we were poor. He's never known what that's like and I'm glad about that.

What I would say is do any of your good (and better off) friends know how difficult it is for you? I've got a friend who's skint a lot of the time and I regularly buy stuff by 'accident' and offer it to her. She obviously knows I do this but she prefers to keep it that way rather than me offering her cash - which I'd be happy to do.

I hope life gets better for all of you on the thread.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/help-if-on-a-low-income/if-youre-struggling-with-living-costs/

www.familyfund.org.uk/ - if you have a disabled or seriously ill child then the family fund can help with additional costs

Olio - free surplus food

Fareshare - fareshare.org.uk/getting-food/

Free Summer food & activity schemes (HAF)

I remember being 19,pregnant and homeless

i managed to get back on my feet by the skin of my teeth and swallowed my pride and claimed benefits

my rent and council tax where paid for and I got milk tokens but I was left with everything else-I met my ex and we had more babies-we both worked and life was better-we could afford small luxuries

then,he left me for a 14 year old (he got her pregnant and ended up slopping out and avoiding dropping his soap in wormwood scrubs for dealing drugs)

he’s never paid a penny towards them

its a long story but I ended up living hour to hour,trying to work out where I could shave a few pennies to put towards ‘luxuries’ like food-the heating never went on,we would walk to the park just to get out of the house

i had bailiffs at my door almost weekly due to the debts he left me,I remember finding 50p in the street and crying because I could afford bread

living in dread of the washing machine/mircowave/kettle etc breaking down

we lived in a damp,unheated undecorated house-I used to dread winter

cheap shoes for us all-I couldn’t afford the posher ones

i once bought my dd a top in the charity shop and then the pre paid meter ran out later that day-the money I’d spent on her top could have topped up the gas-we had no hot water for 3 days

if the meter ran out,we sat in the dark

We couldn’t afford things like curtains,proper bedding or carpets-we did get charity funding for things like that-it was bloody degrading having to admit I could provide things like that

i remember getting a food parcel one Christmas and somebody had written a note on one of the soup tins
‘to the really poor person who’s going to receive this soup,I’m glad I could buy this for you,from alice’
i felt like shit

i was given a box of chocolates once-only a cheapy box,but it made the kids month-it was an unheard of treat

school uniform-the bill was insane,I had to claim a grant for secondary school-that was degrading handing over my letter just to buy awful quality uniform and having to pay £15 for 3 school ties knowing I’d have to cut back elsewhere and not knowing where

sobbing my eyes out because I’d been overpaid £53 on my tax credits and knowing I couldn’t afford the £5 a week to pay it back

knowing my kids had to have free school dinners-and giving them sandwiches for dinner-at least they’d had a good meal at school

burning with shame having to pay for something with money from the copper jar-having to stand there while they counted out my pennies

Not being able to give them 20p each to take part in the school raffle

I’m utterly ashamed to admit this,but two of mine once won a voucher for £20 at the local shop
i had to claim it as I was over 18 and I didn’t tell them they’d won it as it was needed to buy food for them that week-I was that skint-and if I’d given it to them,they would have spent it on sweets (they where young and didn’t get just on the breadline we where)
(I have paid it back to them both many times over now,but the feeling of shame will never leave me)

daft thing is,if I admitted it to them now,I know they’d just laugh it off but I’m too ashamed

So sorry to hear all the stories. What income do you have that you cannot afford simple things like a coffee or a day out? It is difficult to believe this happens in the UK.

I think that was the Food Weighhouse chain? Remember them. Might be worth looking for a local refill shop, which will offer a similar service. These days they are pitching themselves on cutting out single use plastics, and often try to use locally-sourced products. We have one local to us, and for some things it's great and competitively priced. But not always - and it can be odd how washing up liquid and shampoo are a good deal, but bubble bath is ridiculously expensive.

Here's an interview from our local refill shop when it reopened: bit.ly/2QyRcBP

THIS! I've been working at a community garden and someone on the committee said "the people from the estate could come and pick the edibles if they're hungry...in exchange for doing some weeding?"

Not even joking! Imagine believing that your neighbours were literally starving to death and expecting them to work for it for an offering of blackcurrants.

But for every person who doesn't get it there is always someone who does get it.
So many of us are struggling.

Walking past the ice cream van saying no to my little ones. Stings more than the bills

The fear that never leaves you, even 20 years later when you have a relatively good job. So that you make all financial decisions and life decisions from a position of fear of being back in that position of poverty.

Sad reading some of the these stories. I can't give advice and I can't help really but if anyone fancies a treat (and its not a very useful treat btw), then PM me. I work in the beauty business and I produce beauty boxes filled with all sorts of beauty stuff.

I'd be happy to send a few out if anyone fancied a pamper and they'd perk anyone up, even for an hour!

Genuine offer, just thought might put a smile on someone's face. And you'd be able to google me to check I'm not some weird address collector!

Sadly, I'm unemployed, and trying to live on £324 a month. My rent has almost doubled (a council property) which means that I'm left with about £234 a month. After my other bills are paid, I have about £20 a month to live on. This has to pay for petrol, etc. I can't afford public transport, even if it was available! I live in a rural area and we have 3 buses a day. I can be in the main town (11 miles away) for either 4 hours, or 10 minutes. The last time I did this, it cost me £7.50 for a return ticket, except the return bus didn't arrive and I had to pay £15 for a taxi!!! The last bus was at 18.15 and it had already gone by the time I got there, at 18.25. I find the local Job Centre extremely unhelpful. Even if I did find a job, the DWP take 65p from every £1 I earn. I was offered a job with B & M, for 12 hours a week, in my nearest town (still 11 miles away) and were paying the minimum wage at the time, £8. something, It meant I couldn't afford to work there. I worked out that it would cost me £95 a month to work there. I couldn't afford that! I had to decline the offer. I even got my son to check the figures. He made it worse by £2.
Sorry. Long rant. I understand about being poor. It's so difficult, SO difficult. It would be nice, I think, to not have to eat food that is out of date, about to be out of date, etc. I can eat quite cheaply, sadly, my freezer isn't big enough to accommodate all the food I can cook in advance to make the most of old food! AARRGGHH!! Frustration reigns supreme! Apart from actually getting a job (my age is against me) the only other thing I can do is work out menus for the weeks ahead, buy the ingredients, and do batch cooking, I know that's not an easy thing when you have young children. I do understand that! I had 3 (4, if you count The Husband) but I had to do something! I went through my recipe books, worked out menus for the week and bought only those ingredients, after saving every single plastic tub that came my way. Especially the biggest ice cream tubs. They were the best! I cooked bulk Chilli, bulk Spaghetti Bolognese, Bulk pan fried chicken. Bulk bloody everything.

Sadly, I still try to do it! I've been so well trained, by the ex H, I don't know whether to be happy or sad! AARRGGHH!! No winner here. Good luck OP, I'm sorry it was such a long rant

A good one! A very good one actually. But we also have high outgoings due to historical debt and extremely high transport costs.

Really???
just read the thread - it’s any income that doesn’t cover the basics of a roof over your head, basic utility bills, food, suitable clothing and transport (if needed to get to work/shops etc). That’s without budgeting for repairs/replacements/being unwell. Buying an odd cup of coffee is a luxury that’s unaffordable for too many people.
Benefits, top up benefits (if eligible) and minimum wage (even full time) just aren’t enough.

My in-laws are minted. And I often hear things like ‘it’s what you choose to spend your money on..’ well I know for a lot of people there is no choice beyond the basics and even then it’s a choice between energy and food. I feel sad that is the situation in this poor country.

This made me cry OP - you sound like a great Mim - sending hugs x

That’s such a lovely idea x

Sorry for you op. Yeh people havent a clue. I have inlaws just back from usa a big birthday. Its hard not to feel it at times. Cost living is crazy we in Dublin

Yes, I've been there a few times. As a student doing my PGCE in London - my grant went up by half as much, but my bills went up 3x as much. My DPs bailed me out, but I was embarrassed to ask. Second time in my 30s I had a change of career (from teaching to professional theatre), and one job I had only paid £75 per week during rehearsals. I was paying a mortgage on my home, AND rent where we were rehearsing. I was very quickly broke. Third time was when the DCs were tiny, and a theatre job contract was not renewed, and we'd just bought a new house.
I know what it is to see the overdraft getting bigger, even though you're cutting out everything but the very basics.
I'm better off now, but heading for retirement age. I don't dare give up working!