The worst thing about having no money

[letsallmeetupinthehyear2000]

is after a hard week at work you look at your bank balance and not only have you no money but you are overdrawn you can't go out and enjoy yourself or even buy yourself a tiny treat or buy any food without worrying about being in debt, you don't know how you're going to pay the electricity bill and any bit of joy or creativity has been sapped out of you you feel anxious and overwhelmed most of the time and you are so tired so tired you can't get dressed and you can't stop crying at everything

I’m ok now but growing up I used to be sent to ask for credit in the corner shop. I had to lie to the debt collectors and hid occasionally from bailiff types.

DH and I have an income that my mum wouldn’t have comprehended (although not masses) but I’ll never forget what it was like and don’t judge anyone based on their finances.

Poverty and hardship are personal failings. It’s usually bad lack or poorly valued work that doesn’t pay as it should.

Definitely unexpected expenses, we earn ‘good money’ and after covid had a small amount of savings but different issues have meant all the savings are gone and we are back on the credit card. It’s very disheartening.

This month has been particularly bad with 2 different unexpected vet bills (dog insurance covered but we had to pay out initially) and one was the snake who was not insured and cost an eye watering amount of money!

pretty much nothing left this month both me and DH have cancelled our weekend plans as fuel and food need to take priority. Just so miserable to work hard literally to pay bills 🙁

Yes, like those celebs who think they understand what decades living on the streets is like when they camp out in an unusually-thick and fluffy sleeping bag in a shop doorway for one night in July - surrounded by security people and a camera crew.

^

Same with Wills pretending to sell the Big Issue - Read the room William lad

Only people who’ve never been poor think this.

A prime example of what I was talking about in my pp.

When you have 10p for the last two days of the month and no food. When you walk around town for half the day looking for money on the floor and find none, then realise it was worse than doing nothing because of the all calories you burnt off doing it. When you consider shoplifting food from shops because you're so hungry (don't worry, I didn't do it). When you consider sitting outside the shop and begging but don't want anyone to recognise you so you don't do it. When you consider walking to one a lot further away to do it (I didn't do that either). When you stay up until midnight hoping your pay goes in then, so you can go and buy food so you can sleep, but it DOESN'T transfer across, and you check it every few minutes until 4am when you start crying.

@letsallmeetupinthehyear2000

Please find out where your nearest credit union is. They should be able to help.

www.findyourcreditunion.co.uk

A lot of people who need them have never even heard of them.

They are regulated by the government and are safe.

OH and finally, when you know this entire thing is all your fault, because you had a good career and lost it when you had to go into hospital (fixed term contract that had ALWAYS been renewed every 12 months up until that).

It came to the point where I would pick up any coin I found on the street, combined with change I may have had (2ps, 5ps) and would buy necessities using the self service tills to save the feeling of shame.

Oh, yes - the shame from having to pay with a big handful of coppers, because you do not have any other money whatsoever available. Made much worse by the fact that, in that position, you'll probably only have two or three items at most, so somebody always dashes behind you, expecting you to be done in no time; and then shoots you the filthiest, piercing, disgusted look when you have a load of coppers to feed into the machine - like you've done it on purpose to ruin their day.

When I've mentioned that on MN before, people have said 'just' use the Coinstar machine instead. Yes, as a punishment for being poor, I should pay an extra 8% penalty; anything to stop getting in the way of normal people with cashback credit cards. It's interesting how very often those with the least money have to pay the most money to buy things.

I've no issue with those who genuinely prefer to use the Coinstar machines - I'm guessing probably often better-off people who see loose change as discarded 'ex-money' and are pleasantly surprised that a magic machine can make it worth something again; but I think it says it all that the illustrations on the machine show a bag of 'change' that's ostensibly too tiresome to bother counting yourself including a lot of £2, £1 and 50p coins in it.

I agree OP, I'm on long term disability benefits so I'm used to being frugal, buying second hand and clothes from eBay etc, but with the price increases on every single thing I need and budget for, I'm finding I have to consider every single £1 I spend
It really takes the shine off everyday living, and I'm existing in a state of inertia now.
This week my management company have demanded a " lump sum" in addition to raised monthly service charges
Even the criteria of eligibility has widened so I'm not now entitled to the warm home discount next winter.
I understand exactly how you feel

@letsallmeetupinthehyear2000

well, this government is actively encouraging such people by spouting rubbish like how the existence of food banks is heartwarming and how a meal can easily be prepared for 30p (so there’s no need to kick up a fuss now is there?). It’s governments that should be setting minimum standards of a decent living wage and ensuring the bare minimums of heating, food, and housing in the worlds 6th richest country. If it can’t do that it should go.

OP I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed. If you are not doing so please use a food bank. Working full time is not a barrier. Most also provide toiletries and sanitary products (other posters mentioned the cost of them). We're not advertising the fact but at the moment we have 6 month SIM cards we can give out free as so many people are running out of credit.

When you sell your bass guitar for £50 when it's worth probably £200, because then you can pay a bill. When your mobile phone is £6 a month and a flip phone. When you read the money saving thread and realise you have already done all of those tips, before the cost of living crisis, and have nowhere else to go from there. When you wonder if lying to the gas and electricity company regarding your meter readings might give you a few months reprieve to try to catch up on things. When you are relieved you actually have £0 overdraft as that would just be another bill (my bank introduced charges by the day, which are very steep, even if you are £20 overdrawn you still pay the charge each day. Per year it is a horrible cost). When you spend your money on bills, food... and.... well, bills and food. Your wardrobe has remained static for two years. As with your shoes.

When you are very very grateful that you have a home, running water, heat, gas, a fridge/freezer that works, a sofa, a bed, a table, carpets, nice people living nearby, etc. And always remember that.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll
It's interesting how very often those with the least money have to pay the most money to buy things

It is very much by design. It’s how the financial elite grow their wealth exponentially faster, and also pass their wealth from generation to generation.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can solve most problems so that they aren’t even problems any more. Not having those options means the problems build up and up and it’s all just so relentless.

letsall I'm really sorry you're struggling too and I'm sorry I let all of this out. Last month (the last few days of it) was the very worst for me and I'm scared it might happen again this month but for more days. I hope you are OK.
xx

I’m sorry all who are struggling. I’m ok now but have been there and know how it feels. It’s also as someone else said, isolating to be unable to afford £3 for a coffee to meet a friend in a cafe. It’s scandalous that just existing is so expensive.

it may be worth some of you contacting your local Citizens Advice to request a benefit check, just to make sure that there’s not anything else you are entitled to but not currently claiming. My neighbour was struggling because she was just over the threshold for pension credit, but CAB told her she should apply for a different benefit (sorry can’t remember which) and now she’s much better able to afford to live. CAB advisors are volunteers but they are well trained and their advice is free. They also help with debt advice, as does Step Change, and Christians Against Poverty.

Absolutely, the country has gone to the wall with this.
I'm recently diagnosed with cancer and had just changed jobs so only get SSP, I applied for UC and the first month got £46, second was £150. I've never claimed a penny in my life before this, and yet my niece who knows the system gets £1200 per 4 weeks as she knows the system, and her LA rent is taken off before she gets "paid" as she says.
It makes my blood boil when people who work don't even male that per month.

Another thing that’s really demoralising about being poor is never being able to replace things. Wear and tear happens all around the house, to all appliances, bikes, cars, electronics etc and if there’s no money spare to keep on top of it all then your house and all your belongings gradually get into a state of disrepair and before you know it your house is a right state.

Also, the benefits trap. I’m finally able to keep my head above water thanks to disability benefits, but I’m hoping to get better in the next few years. Once that time comes I’m terrified that they’ll stop all the benefits the moment I try easing slowly back into work, leaving me way worse off and completely drowning. Then if I have a relapse I’m completely stuck.

Poverty and hardship are personal failings. It’s usually bad lack or poorly valued work that doesn’t pay as it should.

I really hope that was a typo and there should have been a 'not' in there....?!

I still feel ashamed about the time when I returned a couple of £6 t-shirts to Asda - very basic ones that I really needed - for a refund. I'd bought them a couple of days before, then something came out of nowhere and I realised that, in retrospect, I couldn't afford them. Thankfully, I hadn't worn them yet (a day or two later and I would have done).

I don't know if the assistant particularly cared, but I was burning inside as I mumbled a reason as to why they weren't suitable and declined an offer to swap them for a different style or size. It's kind of difficult (and makes you feel so low) to admit to them that there's nothing wrong with the goods and they're exactly what you need - but that you're effectively having to use them as a kind of pawn-broker until you can afford to buy identical replacements in the next month, two months, three months....

I know OP, I spent 12 years doing two jobs when I was a single mum. I could not make ends meet so I did a full time day job and I'd do nights as well. It was hell.
We made it in the end and now I have my own home and a really well paid job but I wouldn't go back to those days for love nor money.
DS and DiL moved in with me a while back because they were in the same situation and it looks like we are going to be permanently living together now.
Luckily we are all very chilled and considerate people so it works.

I don't think it's by design on a macro level, but it's a key issue that we can and should fix.

That and making sure people have enough money to have a decent life in the first place.

I am so sorry OP, it's just so unnecessary in a country as rich as this one.

@catzrulz sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Have you spoken to anyone at Macmillian?

MacMillan link

Your post made me chuckle
He was a few minutes walk from my flat- I note that he didnt go to outside Sainsburys on Marsham street or Victoria - both places where he would have seen life with the Big Issue sellers- he went to quiet and safe Rochester Row (where I have never seen a seller before)

I just hope that he arrived by Pimlico tube and saw the homeless people shooting up to get a true picture of their challenges (but I expect he came by driver)

Its good to know you’re not alone (but very sad to hear about the struggles) I am so grateful for the roof over my head and my little garden I really appreciate them both and a sofa and a bed and running water - I also believe there is great injustice in society and some people just won’t ever get it - to those of you struggling - I hear you - I wish you better positive happy times ahead - love you all xxx