Mother and daughter best friends, what do you think when you hear this ?

[LovelyYellowLabrador]

Just been watching George Clarke flipping fast and two for the contestants are mother n daughter and both describe themselves as best friends

jistbwondered what you generally think to mothers and daughters that say this

as tbh it’s often how I feel about my dd we are such good friends
but I tend not to say that as it’s like it makes people feel sick or eye roll etc

Co dependent with zero boundaries.

I’d think one of you was lying and it was much more one-sided.

Feel sorry for the daughter tbh, Mother's like this are extremely needy and cloying, finding ways to staple the child to them under the guise of friendship. I am very close to my daughter but I respect her boundaries and WANT her to be independent in her friendships, these Mothers are co-dependent.

Hate it. Get on well with all my children, but they have their own friends and I wouldn’t discuss personal details with any of them! Happy with open conversations, but the parent needs to let go.

Cringey

Mmmm. I wouldn’t be too sure. Why the need to say it? What are you trying to prove?

I was very lucky that I had a fabulous relationship with my mother, we were very close. She was never my best friend, I have best friends, but she was wonderful company and I loved spending time with her.

It's weird and quite sad.

Not a fan. I adore and am close to my mum and will talk to her about a lot of stuff. I adore my dds and hope they feel they can talk to me about stuff.

They are not my best friends.

Tragically my dh is my best mate - the only thing I don't tend to talk to him about are my celebrity sex crushes in graphic detail. but that's more because I don't think it's respectful to describe to him the precise uses I dream up for Chris Hemsworths penis

I think it's weird. I'm my daughter's mum and that's what I want to be, not her best mate! What people need from their parents aren't the same things as they need from their friends.
I can offload to my friends and say all sorts of things that it wouldn't be appropriate for my daughter to hear about!

I think it is sad that they both don't have their own circle of friends.
The bond between parent and child is a very close one in most families (yes, I know there are lots of exceptions) but if it isn't in addition to your own circles of friends, I think that is a very sad place for both of them to be.

I cringed when someone once said to me oh, you and your daughters are like best friends. I knew it was supposedly a compliment but it didn’t feel like it because we’re not best friends, I’m their mum and they’re my daughters. We have great times together and are very close but I’m definitely their mum.

Yes!

Be a parent ffs

It depends what age they are?

DD and I are great friends, she is an adult though. I also don't think you can be best friends as there is a lot you would share with a friends that you definitely wouldn't share with your mum or your DD even as adults. For example DD and I will talk about sex in an advisory and practical way, but could never have the same talks as you would with an actual freind.

Co dependent or controlling mother that the DD hasn't twigged onto yet.

I don't think they mean it tbh.

They probably just get on really well and it's term they use but, I suspect they have different relationships with friends than their Mum.

Being great friends is very different from being best friends. Best friends implies they rely on each other too much.

It’s weird and unhealthy. I have a great relationship with my DDs but I am not their best friend and they are not mine. I have to parent them so need to be on a different plain, I have worries and boundaries they don’t need to know about, they have a right to privacy so I don’t get to know everything about them either. Best friends do something very different relationship wise.

I think it depends on what age you are. When I was young, no. When I was a teenager or early twenties, hell no. In my forties with children of my own, yes my mum probably is my best friend and definitely the person I am closest to.

I think that its a very unhealthy relationship and frankly sad.

I have only ever heard this when the mum is a single parent and often dad had no part in their daughter's life. May be untypical but that is my first assumption.

Just, no. I love my daughter beyond measure but no way, shape or form am I (or ought to be) her best friend. We’ve too much shared history to be completely honest with each other, which is what best friends are for. Same goes for my son.

Yeah, dd and I are very close and there are certainly elements of our relationship that are more akin to friendship now that she's older. We talk very openly about stuff, and really enjoy each others company. Ultimately, though, I'm her mum. I am not her best friend and I don't want to be. I'm pretty sure that she doesn't want that either. She has her friends and I have mine. Our relationship is special because we're mother and daughter... that's unique in a way that no friendship could be.

This. I also worry how the daughter is going to cope when the mother dies.

It's usually when the mum has spent the daughter's life , projecting on her.

I love my adult daughter and we're very close but she is my daughter and I'm her mum.

This notion of being best friends forever with your child is , in my opinion, unhealthy.