Mother and daughter best friends, what do you think when you hear this ?

[LovelyYellowLabrador]

Just been watching George Clarke flipping fast and two for the contestants are mother n daughter and both describe themselves as best friends

jistbwondered what you generally think to mothers and daughters that say this

as tbh it’s often how I feel about my dd we are such good friends
but I tend not to say that as it’s like it makes people feel sick or eye roll etc

Whenever l hear this saying l always think of a slightly older mother and daughter, both adults, and see it as a positive, two women that enhance each others lives.

Definitely a lot of judgement on this topic!

My cat is my best friend but only as she doesn't answer me back!

For the sake of full disclosure, though: I don't actually think anyone who's past compulsory education age should be using the term 'best friends'.

I'm not sure if I would describe my mum and I as best friends but we're very close. To the point that we can be telepathic which is quite funny.
My own daughter is only 11 months so we'll see but I hope we'll be super close.

I think it’s lovely. I have 3 daughters and we’re all close. They know they can tell me anything they want to and they do. Of course I expect they won’t tell me everything because I’m also their mum but we chat about most things and laugh like friends.
I know alot of commenters disagree with parent friendships but I know for a fact that having a mum and dad you feel at ease around provides the most fun and loving childhood.

I only ever hear mums say it about their teen daughters, never the other way around. I immediately think of the Mean Girls mum, trying to be young and hip and down with the kids.

I’m very close to my DM. We are not “best friends”, we are a close mother and daughter.

Emeshment relationships aren’t the same as having a friendship with your child.
you don’t have to lean on your child to have a friendly bond. I don’t tell my daughters my problems ever but we can laugh together and chat about things.

I feel the same. But I'm not your typical No Contact with your mother MNetter.

I find it a lot worse when the daughter is still a child. I have seen women say this about their primary school age daughters and it annoys the crap out of me.

A child needs a parent at 10 not a BFF for a parent, who is more concerned with their child liking them and thinking of them as cool than establishing boundaries and being a grown up.

My mum and sister are 'best friends '. My mother is a narcissist and my sister has learned helplessness, so they are enmeshed.

It's funny - I'm getting this from my 16 year old daughter at the moment. It's something she says to me and I don't exactly say back. Instead, I say that I love that she feels at ease to talk to me about most things and it's great we enjoy each other's company and sense of humour - but I am still her parent and I remind her that I will sometimes put boundaries in place that she might not agree with. Then we'll get back to chatting and laughing at songs in the car or whatever.

She's starting to realise that the boundaries I do have are for her own protection though and I think what she really means by 'friend' is she can talk to me more openly than a few of her own friends can with their parents. She's had a rough year with some of her peer group and I guess i've been a 'safe' listening ear.

I don't think most people using the term 'friend' for mother/daughter mean they are equals and there are no boundaries. More that they've navigated things together and value the understanding they've developed. At this stage anyway....it could be 'all change' next week!

Id def count my mum as one of my best friends.
I dont think its necessarily weird, although it can be I guess.

Wow this thread is horribly judgemental.... emotional incest?

Lots of projection here it seems

Wow! Really surprised how negative all the comments are.

My mum, before she died, was definitely my 'best friend'.

I have lots of other friends, no social problems, went out into the world with no fear, no apron stings!

My mum and sister don't have any friends of their own, only each other. It's completely inappropriate and unhealthy. Like the rest of my siblings and myself, we as kids were put in the parental role to look after the emotional needs of our unstable parents. My mother's completely controlling and keeping my sister as her 'best friend' means her need for an underling will always be met.

Think people are getting confused between having a good close relationship with your mum and being your child’s friend.

Think the relationships are too different to mix up - particularly when the Dd is young. How do you “switch” from matey mum if you need to actually parent them?

Chsnge love that Mess ask Girls mum character “no rules in this house girls I’m a fun mum”.

Mean Girls

I honestly don't think it's as deep as some of the posters are making it. I think some women just say it as a figure of speech to say they are very close to their DD .
It's not the school play ground where you have to pick one best friend.

I have a number of friends who are very close to their mothers. I'm sure in the past they have said their DM are one of their best friends just to highlight how close they are. I didn't think anything other than that's nice.

Im sorry you lost your mum. Glad you had such a lovely close friendship.

Reminds me of my aunt and her daughter.
They're always going on about how they're best friends.
The aunt is absolutely a narcissist. The daughter a total people pleaser to people's faces but nasty AF behind their backs, including to family.

Also some stuff it’s just not appropriate for your mum to know. As an adult sometimes life’s difficult and I know telling my mum stuff that I had going on in my twenties would have just upset her. Genuinely better she doesn’t know. That’s why I think the blurring of those boundaries is not good for either party.

I think people are reading too much into this. It’s just an expression…they mean they are very close. That is how I interpret it.

I'm sure in the past they have said their DM are one of their best friends just to highlight how close they are. I didn't think anything other than that's nice

I see it as the parent feeling they have ‘won’ at parenting, they are saying they are far superior than other mothers who’s children aren’t their best friends. Which is why it’s cringy. They are competitive mothers who haven’t move on and let their child speed their wings.

That’s my interpretation.

Just no. I have a teenage daughter who I have a good relationship with. Her dad died when she was eight and it has just been the two of us and at times that has been far too claustrophobic and limiting for us both. My DD is close to a few of my good friends to counteract that and it has been really important that she has other people to talk to and trust. We can joke about it but I am a child protection social worker and I know how important it is that I am a parent (even though we can joke and be close) not a friend and ensure she has other trusted (adult) people.

I love DD and we have both been through a lot together, was a child and I was the adult responsible for her. We have a great relationship now after teenage bills but I will always be her mum. I hope I am a mother that encouraged peer relationships, many of which I have been part of over the years. I am included in some things to some extent and I am available to my DD and friends, I am certainly not a best friend. I find any parent asserting they are a best friend very needy and worry for their child. I want my daughter to be a strong individual making her own way in life- I think we will always be close but I will always be mum.

I have a brilliant relationship with my mum, but she is my mum. Friends can change, come in and out of your life but my mum will always be my mum. It's a special relationship, sometimes similar to friends but it's in its own category.

Jealous that I'll never have that kind of relationship with my mum