DH thinks I was rude but I disagree

[OvOvO]

At our local pub my usual tipple is rose wine. Almost every time we go they want to flog us the bottle and I always say no thanks.
I tend to have a large glass to start and then a couple of small ones with ice & soda to 'tip in'
Anyway today they tried to push the bottle and as usual I said no thanks to which the lass helping out behind the bar ( not even staff) said "do you know just how much wine you drink? You would save money by buying the bottle "
I replied "judgmental much?"

😂

The girl behind the bar didn’t phrase her sentence well at all… however….

Having worked in hospitality, customers like you are tiresome.
You're probably notorious in your local pub for your drinking and (not so) veiled aggression!

Why come on Mnet with an issue, then fire off vile language at the very people you’ve asked to give their opinions?

Your poor husband.

Lush

Oh good lord.. but it ISNT cheaper, the OP only drinks £14 worth of the bottle, why would she spend £19 on it.

Trust me, the bar is NOT trying to SAVE her money, they're trying to MAKE HER SPEND MORE.

Regardless of that, its RUDE for the lady to have spoken to a customer like that. I'd hate to think where some of you drink if you think being spoken to like that is acceptable from staff.

In fairness, given that she knows the measures of each glass, price per glass of everything, and drinking habits down to how many rounds, of everyone else in the pub, I'd say they probably get plenty of ££ out of her.
She says it wasn't a member of the regular bar staff btw. they probably hide in the back when she rocks up effing and blinding

if they're helping out behind the bar, they're still representing the bar/pub as they're the ones talking to the customers, they still shouldn't be rude.

So are you saying that when you work in hospitality and you know your customer well, incl the fact they are drinking a lot, you think it’s ok to tell them want to do and not listen to them?
That when they’ve told you for the nth time they dint want a bottle, you STILL decide you know better than them and ask them AGSIn if they want one? Even though they’ve told you they don’t?

If I’m going somewhere where I’m a regular and they always ask me the same question and they answer is always NO, I’d get pissed off. The basic of customer sr ice is to know your client and adjust to them. Not the other way around.

Meh, last week I got a call from my mobile phone provider asking me if I knew how much data I was using \and asking if I'd like to upgrade my contract.

I declined but it wasn't rude. The only reason people think it's rude to point out that you're drinking enough wine to consider buying a bottle at the start of the evening are those with a MASSIVE CHIP ON THEIR SHOULDER.

I agree with Trikewife having worked as bar staff her comments are spot on. I very much doubt Op is being harassed and given the hard sell every time she approaches the bar.

It's likely staff are instructed to tell customers they sell wine by the bottle. Some punters just have a superiority complex and a horrible contempt for serving staff and it shows in how they respond.

I’m teetotal but I think OP is right, the bar person’s language was loaded, and society does feel more able to comment on / police women’s drinking, in a way that they don’t do a man.

When a customer says she doesn’t want a bottle, just believe her.

@SantiMakesMeLaugh

that's not what I said…

I had already said that the girl who served her did not phrase her questions well at all.
My main point was the OPs rude reaction… and then coming on here f-ing and jeffing at other posters (whose opinion she had asked for🤷‍♀️)
And that having worked many years in hotels and bars, customers like OP are tiresome because they will rear up at any comment, however it is intended.

OP has explicitly said (somewhere in the first third of the thread) that it would be 50p cheaper for her to buy the bottle but she doesn't do that because there wouldn't be an ice bucket provided.

@SmileyClare
Thankyou!

🙌 - you are 💯 right!

She changed what she said from her original post about the cost where she clearly says that in addition to it only being 50p cheaper they don't provide a nice bucket and she doesn't want warm wine.

🙄

Do you usually complain about people giving you tips for saving money?

The bottle costs a whole 50 pence less than buying drinks singularly - plus they don't provide an ice bucket so I would be effectively drinking warm wine and saving 50p 🤷‍♂️
Well, let me see... I read this one?

I don't know who reported op's post to me? I'd have preferred to let it stand 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sigh. Why do people put the worst spin on OP’s posts?

I took it to mean that even if OP bought 3 x large drinks at £6.50 each, it would only cost her £19.50, so she would only 50p by buying a bottle, and having warm wine to boot.

It’s not your forum though.

You'd start a fight in an empty room 🤦‍♀️ You're really very tedious.

Anyone else thinking the OP has name changed to eldora?

Same rude tone in the posts as was seen in the OPs

I don't really think drinking a large glass of wine and two small glasses is drinking "a lot". I think it's a reasonable amount to drink when you go out for drinks specifically.

How is it a horrible phrase?! It is incredibly rude and judgemental to say to a paying customer "do you know just how much you drink?" I think OP's response was more than warranted. I'd have reported the staff member to management personally. I'm a grown adult and I don't need some jumped up girl behind the bar assuming I'm a) an idiot who can't do maths and b) deluded about how much I drink. It's patronising, rude and yes, very judgemental.

One large glass of wine and two small glasses topped up with soda is not a particularly large amount of wine. It's what, half a bottle? It's nowhere near an entire bottle's worth.

OP is being rude on the thread but most people posting on it are extremely irritating. I hate when people just make stuff up to have a pop at OP.

You are drinking a lot of wine and regularly enough that the girl behind the bar recognizes you and has noticed.

This tends to happen if you are a regular anywhere, not just with drink. My local coffee shop doesn't need to be told that I take soya milk, they know. I have the same sandwich everytime I go to the bakery, they know my order before I give it to them. My grandfather will always order the same brand of lager, so his local pub knows this. It's not weird for barstaff to know the drinking habits of regulars at all!

Can't be, eldora is teetotal.

I would.

I'm not a fucking idiot. If I order three wines and not a bottle, it's because I want three wines and not a bottle. Lots of people are more concerned about how much they're drinking than saving a pound or two. If I wanted a bottle, I would order one. And if I got a comment like that from bar staff, I'd be reporting them.