DH thinks I was rude but I disagree

[OvOvO]

At our local pub my usual tipple is rose wine. Almost every time we go they want to flog us the bottle and I always say no thanks.
I tend to have a large glass to start and then a couple of small ones with ice & soda to 'tip in'
Anyway today they tried to push the bottle and as usual I said no thanks to which the lass helping out behind the bar ( not even staff) said "do you know just how much wine you drink? You would save money by buying the bottle "
I replied "judgmental much?"

You were being rude. Get over it!

People, (not even staff - do you even know how pompous that sounds?) are noticing your drinking habits

Which is normal if you are a regular and have a regular order.

buy the bottle, put it in a brown paper bag and spare the rest of us your misery.

Weird thing to say. She doesn't drink that much for a pub visit for drinks.

Can’t be bothered to read all of the ongoing comments.

bottom line - the bartender is likely on minimum wage, so no don’t think she/he would even want to be judgemental and or quite frankly care what you drink, as long as you pay and leave in an orderly fashion at closing time.

she has mentioned it was cheaper to buy a bottle.

seriously, she does not know you and probably does not give a fig what you do, but was trying to be helpful as buying glass is always more expensive that buying a bottle.

#firstworldproblems

Can't be arsed RTFT, you're the customer, whatever you want is fine.

I absolutely hate warm wine so I totally understand your thinking, especially for only a 50p saving.
But it sounds as though she may have been trying to help by suggesting a bottle but she didn’t approach it very well. Plus it depends on the tone of how she said it as to whether you were justified in your retort. For your DH to comment that you were rude then maybe you were? Could you have been a bit prickly about having been asked about a bottle before?

Yes, you were rude and you ‘sound’ pretty shirty in your posts here 🤷‍♀️

I think SHE was rude!

I think OP should be able to make her own decision on how she drinks her wine, so I actually think her taking offence to the bar staff's rude comment was reasonable. I'll also have a large glass of wine in a pub, then later have a small glass or more. This also feels more sociable, as I can buy rounds for people, and them return the favour, rather than just having a bottle to myself.

She may thought she was being helpful but
using the words "do you know just how much wine you drink? Is extremely rude
shecis implying that the OP is not in control of her drinking in terms of knowing exactly how much she is having . The word “just” in there is extremely judgemental
if she was really trying to be helpful she would and should have not presumed that she knew better than the OP about her wine intake and instead asked a simple question of “would you like to buy the bottle instead, it cost x and you may find it works out nearly as cheap”.
that’s it’s.
not some judgey put down
OP, your reply was bang on…probably just missing the “random bar staff” address

I think you could have been kinder. Bar staff don’t earn a lot and are often young (it is my son’s first job, my daughter waited tables). He and many bar staff have to put up with a lot and once your children have waited table or served maybe you’ll have a different view about how you reacted. Only you will know whether you think you might be drinking a lot but your reaction is quite defensive.

You were both rude. Two wrongs don't make a right.
I would have given the bar person a 'look' (raised eyebrows, fixed stare) and moved on.

She didn’t mean, ‘do you know just how much wine you drink’ as if she was calling you an alcoholic she was trying to save you money! Buying the bottle is probably half the price of the glasses of wine you consume 😂😂😂😂😂
These are average prices for north east & I haven’t been to a pub to drink win in a while but….
Bottle = £13
Lrg wine = £4.50
Sml wine = £3.50 x 3 = £10.50
Soda = £1.50
Total 🟰 £16.50.
Getting triggered by staff trying to save you some money cost you £3.50
😘

I know the thread has moved on but IMO you were rude. Perhaps the problem with the bar staff was that she was young and not confident. Not excusing how she phrased it but you were rude to a poor girl who was just doing her job

I don’t see it that way. I see it as OP not knowing how much buying a bottle of wine in a pub costs VS buying it by the glass.
The staff member was trying to save her some money. She may not have worded it brilliantly but I wouldn’t have through she was calling me an alcoholic unless I already thought I was 😬
I’ve calculated the cost from my old memory of when I used to drink wine & I actually worked out for myself that it was between £3 & £6 cheaper to buy the bottle than drink multiple glasses of wine. I could also take the bottle home if I didn’t finish it 😋

Think what reaction did she expect to that question ? It’s very judgemental

I'd have been offended by her lack of tact, so I don't blame you for being defensive, although I do think she didn't mean to phrase it the way she did.

Op your responses are aggressive and rude in general, maybe your husband is just sick of it who knows

Rude

Can you not ask for ice?

If I’m drinking wine in a pub, it’s far cheaper to buy a bottle than to keep buying it by the glass. Pub staff I know would always offer that option ( my own son included).
sounds like she worded her question a bit clumsily, but I don’t think it was intended to be rude.

Yes. Here’s the voice of reason.

You’re both being rude. She said it badly and your reaction was rude too.

I think her ‘statement’ tone was uncalled for if this was the way it was said and if she had said that to me in that way I’d have probably responded with an equally curt sentence!

Do you know how much you drink?