DH thinks I was rude but I disagree

[OvOvO]

At our local pub my usual tipple is rose wine. Almost every time we go they want to flog us the bottle and I always say no thanks.
I tend to have a large glass to start and then a couple of small ones with ice & soda to 'tip in'
Anyway today they tried to push the bottle and as usual I said no thanks to which the lass helping out behind the bar ( not even staff) said "do you know just how much wine you drink? You would save money by buying the bottle "
I replied "judgmental much?"

Well, anyone would be wrong. Take your troll hunting/ sock hunting to MNHQ instead of trying to create a pile on.

Exactly! God forbid a woman stand up for herself.

It’s more tedious not to read an OP’s posts.

Why does everything have to come down to whether you're male or female @eldora? It was a woman who suggested the bottle and a woman who (rudely) declined. How is that some sort of coup for women?

Because women get patronised far more regularly than men do, even by other women.

How is it rude to tell someone they're being judgemental when they are?

Why are you answering for @eldora?

Yes you were very rude. I own a restaurant and 1 large and 2 small glasses is the same price as a bottle. They're trying to help you not judging you.

@PAFMO it's a forum, anyone can chip in!

I totally agree with @pixie5121

But that's in YOUR restaurant! Not in this pub.

You're like the Duracell bunny... On and on and on.

Are you perhaps a bit sensitive about how much you drink. Maybe she hit a nerve....

That's rich coming from you

Funny that.

IMO she phrased it rudely, so that it sounded critical, rather than just a helpful suggestion.

So although I think you were entitled to be a bit snippy back, it would have been better not to.

You were rude, just like the behaviour you have exhibited on this thread, along with the poster who had to make this a man's fault.

I love how most people on here are living on another planet.

I don't know anyone in real life who would be fine with being insulted and talked down to by bar staff when they're out spending money in a pub.

A good pub would serve you what you want, how you want it. As a regular, you should not be constantly asked to change your order. Suggesting a bottle once is fine. But the bartender clearly knew OP's preferences. V rude and inhospitable to insist.
I agree with ^ this 100%. The comment was about the amount of drinking which imo was rude and inappropriate. I think OP’s response was matching the comment, and she was quite polite even.
If the pub has problems with leftovers of rose wine they can reconsider their approach but they shouldn’t comment on patrons habits. I wouldn’t like to come back to this pub again.
And OP clearly explained on this thread that the whole bottle would be too much for her and not preferable from the money pov. I’m surprised why some people can’t get it.

@PAFMO why don’t you put your money where your mouth and report anyone who disagrees with you to MNHQ as socks?

So, every time (or maybe almost every time) you go to this pub they ask if you'd prefer to buy a bottle and you say you would not.

This time, instead of accepting that you prefer to buy by the glass, which is entirely up to you, they push the declined bottle again with a comment about the amount you drink.

I think that not only were you not rude, you were very restrained.

But there are so many people on Mumsnet who think it's 'rude' or 'confrontational' to complain when people push you to do what they want. Little wimmin should shut up about their own preferences and do what they're told, shouldn't they?

That's exactly it.

I think deep down it's jealousy, that other women aren't such wet blankets that they put up with being insulted when they're paying customers.

I certainly wouldn't stand for someone working in a pub implying I drink too much and trying to push something on me I hadn't ordered. I also think OP was restrained.

I reckon a bit of both....bar staff trying to be helpful but wording it as "are you aware of how much you drink" was slightly patronising (even by accident), but OP, your reaction and the fact you posted it on here makes me think you got defensive as you felt judged? Sod it, I can easily drink a bottle to myself, don't sweat it!

Yeah, that’s it - we’re all just wet blankets who don’t like confrontation 😂

Was that seriously the best you could come up with?

She was judgemental. You told her she was judgemental. I don’t see the issue. (Also she was very rude. Who says “Do you know how much wine you drink?” to a customer??)

She wasn't judging you. She was just pointing out given the number of drinks you bought it would have been much cheaper to buy a bottle. She wasn't pushing extra drink on you, you had already ordered it, it would have just been cheaper to buy the bottle.

Why didn't you just point out to her that you have a large and 2 smalls and that you wouldn't actually save money by buying the bottle?