DH thinks I was rude but I disagree

[OvOvO]

At our local pub my usual tipple is rose wine. Almost every time we go they want to flog us the bottle and I always say no thanks.
I tend to have a large glass to start and then a couple of small ones with ice & soda to 'tip in'
Anyway today they tried to push the bottle and as usual I said no thanks to which the lass helping out behind the bar ( not even staff) said "do you know just how much wine you drink? You would save money by buying the bottle "
I replied "judgmental much?"

@Mostmarriedcouple thank you

It's not comparable to a bottle of gin... People don't go through a bottle of gin, it wouldn't make sense. It seems like you might as well buy the bottle of wine.

She shouldn't have been so rude. It's entirely your business if you don't want to buy a bottle and patronising to think you can't do the maths.

The person behind the bar should of kept her gob shut. It's not her business to tell you how much you drink and how you drink it. I would be complaining to the boss about that!!

You were rude

You were rude.

No they won't be pusing those but then again, neither of them go off and have to be thrown away once they've been opened and not finished. Chances are, every time you go to the pub, they are having to chuck at least part of a bottle away.

I don’t think you were rude. It’s like they assumed you didn’t understand the prices, as well as commenting on your drinking habits.

Bar stuff should learn early on not to run their mouth. The customer is always right. A bar is where you go for a drink, your choice what you drink or how much you drink. Its not the bar staffs place to present you with economics of purchase or comment on their consumption patterns. They should pour the glass and shut up. By now I expect you find their concern for non bottle purchase tiresome. I would have said the same. Next time drink a bottle by the glass.

Most people are wise enough to read through the lines when someone says "I regularly drink X".

It does often tend to mean "I regularly drink X +1".

Maybe the bar staff were basically trying to help. It's obviously hit a nerve. Maybe look at your drinking rather than those pointing it out 🙂

You were rude, she phrased her comment clumsily but you’re clearly drinking virtually a bottle so I don’t know why you’re being so tetchy about it.

You can ask them to keep the bottle in the fridge if they don’t have ice buckets - although how do you even know they don’t if you never buy a bottle?

But she was pointing out that you do actually drink a bottle? You thinking she was being judgemental is very defensive. Are you uneasy with the amount you drink?
She works in a bar, she doesn't give a shit how much punters drink.

Your DH is right and t bar staff were trying to be helpful.
Why did you feel judged OP?

Maybe it's a bit clumsy but I took the comment about how much wine you drink to mean in comparison to the bottle of wine. I don't think she was being judgemental

@Christienne OFFOD

I don't think she was rude at all. She was merely pointing out that it was cheaper to buy the bottle rather than you keep ordering individual glasses.

You were rude to her.

So defensive...

Very. The woman behind the bar struck a nerve, clearly.

I don't think she was judgmental that infers that she was being hypercritical or assuming something negative about you that was untrue.

I think she touched a nerve and your reply was unnecessarily bristling and defensive. It also depends on your tone/delivery and facial expression.

Who cares if you have 3 or 4 glasses of wine in your local? If you're fine about it then chill, and don't worry if bar staff offer you a bottle. I very much doubt anyone is judging

Why couldn't you just have said "good suggestion, but I'll stick with glasses thanks". And nod and smile

She was rude.
Yes it might have been an attempt to tell you it would be cheaper blablabla.

It was still rude. She should have stopped at her proposal for a bottle. Actually seeing that it’s the same pub every time (and seen thatbthey seem to be very aware of how much wince the OP drinks every time) they should have stop proposing the bottle and jsut ket her have her one glass plus small one(s). She always said NO. What is making them think she will suddenly say YES???

Yup.

Or after so many times asking, they could stop asking her every time?

I mean the OP will clearly know by now that she can also buy a bottle!

You were rude, she wasn't.

she was pointing out it was cheaper to buy the bottle, for some reason you got all defensive and assumed she was criticising your alcohol consumption.

Nobody tries to push a fucking barrel on lager drinkers or a whole gin bottle on gin drinkers

Neither of those things are the same at all.

If she was just helping out and doesn’t work there, how on Earth does she know how much you drink?

She worded it badly, but might have meant it as a favour. What was her reply when you were curt with her?