DH thinks I was rude but I disagree

[OvOvO]

At our local pub my usual tipple is rose wine. Almost every time we go they want to flog us the bottle and I always say no thanks.
I tend to have a large glass to start and then a couple of small ones with ice & soda to 'tip in'
Anyway today they tried to push the bottle and as usual I said no thanks to which the lass helping out behind the bar ( not even staff) said "do you know just how much wine you drink? You would save money by buying the bottle "
I replied "judgmental much?"

@Penguinevere that's exactly how she said it and my point is I've never seen them saying anything to obviously drunk men ordering a 10th pint of beer or women ordering their 6th double gin & tonic. But I dare drink wine?
Obviously I'm a raging fucking alkie!

They're making a pretty poor job of it if the bottle is 50p cheaper!
Upselling, my arse.

The person behind the bar was trying to be helpful albeit clumsily. Why are you taking this to heart so much? I went to a bar with my partner recently and drank some wine, the woman behind the bar commented that we should have just bought a bottle. We laughed and agreed with her

Yabu for using the “much” as it’s annoying.

I think you were both rude, the barmaid and you, but you were just reacting to what she said.

Of course you was rude, surely that was your intention by saying it?

You were rude. Sorry.

She was trying to do you a favour not being judgemental

Maybe she could have worded it better, but none of us were there to hear her intonation.

'Do you know just how much wine you drink?' said in an even tone and as a genuine question is not rude.

'Do you KNOW how much wine you drink?' said in a more rhetorical, slightly confrontational fashion is rude.

How exactly did she say it?

You were both rude.

if that’s exactly how she said it I don’t think your response was too bad because she was rude.

I agree with this! She was so rude to speak to you like that.

She was rude.
It’s nothing to do with her how much you drink or how you choose to buy it.
I’d be pissed off by her comment.

I don't think you were rude, i think the bar help was rude.

I've worked in enough bars to know you don't speak to the customers like she spoke to you, ever.

Really don't know why other posters on here think you were being rude, at all. If i caught one of my staff speaking to you like that when i was running the pub bar i'd have been having a word about manners/customer service with them later on the QT.. and apologising to you.

Yes you were rude. She was trying to be helpful, not judging you.

Oh dear!

Going against the grain - but she was rude and you were within your rights to retort as you did. You weren't rude, your response was fair game.

They've checked repeatedly if you want the bottle and you've repeatedly said no. None of their business beyond that.

I totally agree with @Beelezebub...you wasn't rude at all....the bar person should learn some customer service skills!

Obviously I'm a raging fucking alki!

That's the exact reason why youre so angry but you've jumped to that assumption and turned into a prickly hedgehog based on something that wasn't said.

As for the poster stating I would have said a lot worse really? You'd verbally abuse bar staff over something so trivial? Jesus.

@Johnnysgirl they are trying to push an extra 250 ml of booze that I don't want.
Eg
250 ml glass is 6.50
125 ml glass is 3.35 x 2 = 6.70
Bar bill = 13.30

A whole bottle is 19 quid

And you don't think they are not upselling??

Your reply was a bit snippy, but perhaps it will have made her stop and think about what she said, which although probably not intentionally rude, was a bad choice of wording. I can see why you were irritated if you have the same kind of conversation over and over again. Did you say it in a jokey way, or a very stern way?😁

I think partner could have backed you up, at time or when chatting about it later - and said that the way the comment was said was rather off-putting. The way one say things does matter when one works behind the bar. If it had come across interrogatively, and with a tone of voice to emphasis that impression, it makes for an uncomfortable feeling.

Some people in your place, may have said:
( sarcastically) " Yes. I do know. Lots of ice please"

"Yes, my counting's good".

"Sure. I like doing it my way, thanks".

It's quite possible, the staff don't want a bit in the bottom, left. How does anyone know the only motive of the bar person was to be helpful.

Well, given your update on the size of the small glass, I'm definitely with you. You only drink ⅔ of a bottle, and you know exactly how much you drink!

You said twice that you'd save 50p if you bought the bottle 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think you were rude.

stares at ops username 😒

I don’t think you were rude. Not polite either but I’d get fed up of them pushing the bottle and sometimes blunt is best.

There is no way pubs discriminate against female wine drinkers. What a ridiculous suggestion op!

I think if your dh was there and heard the whole exchange, then you must have come across as rude.

He is probably embarrassed.