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Original poster

She brought our desserts to the table and placed them in front of us.. and then...

235 replies

Bunty55 · 09/06/2022 15:45

the waitress placed my spoon into my custard.
I was miffed.

I am 67, just had my birthday. I am the same as I ever was, same face, same figure, same vitality. The only thing that is different about me is the colour of my hair. I quit dyeing it two years ago and it is now silver.

I have noticed that I am sort of becoming invisible in a way I never imagined, and both my daughter and I think it is because of my hair.
Everyone at the table noticed what she did and were gobsmacked. I had to fish the spoon out and wipe it down since half of the handle was covered in bloody custard.
I would not even do that to my grandchildren !
I like my hair colour, but I do not like being treated as if I am in need of help.
Luckily, she did not offer to feed me :(

OP posts:
NiqueNique · 09/06/2022 17:45

Also you should be blaming your family for taking the piss! It never even would have occurred to me to think it was in any way age related...

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 09/06/2022 17:47

I also reckon it is mum mode but it is your family who are being unreasonable and making you feel like this. I would be more cross with them for jumping to a conclusion that is related to your age than I would with her.

Schmz · 09/06/2022 17:48

I reckon it was autopilot

spoon in custard

not that random really ??

anniegun · 09/06/2022 17:51

Its your age dear, finding offence in everything.

RebOrHon · 09/06/2022 17:52

Custard is definitely a pudding so, yes, you are BU but I’d laugh if the waitress did that to me. And maybe asked politely for a new spoon?

CaptainMyCaptain · 09/06/2022 17:52

I would have asked for a clean spoon if it was covered in custard and then forgotten all about it. I am also 67

Mariposista · 09/06/2022 17:53

OP - first of all, Happy Birthday!!!

I doubt she did this because she thought you were old and wanted help - it was just sloppy service. She probably barely noticed whose desserts were whose.

BattenburgDonkey · 09/06/2022 17:54

Those saying OP should have asked for a new spoon, is that just to make a point? Struggling to understand the need for this because surely… the new spoon is just going to get put straight into the custard again right? How are you people eating custard without it touching the spoon?

Dalekjastninerels · 09/06/2022 17:58

BattenburgDonkey · 09/06/2022 17:54

Those saying OP should have asked for a new spoon, is that just to make a point? Struggling to understand the need for this because surely… the new spoon is just going to get put straight into the custard again right? How are you people eating custard without it touching the spoon?

I think OP meant only her spoon was put right in the custard, but everyone else's spoon was put next to their bowl of custard.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 09/06/2022 17:59

Be grateful she didn't eat it for you to be even more helpful.

KittenKong · 09/06/2022 18:00

Spoon in custard - I suppose it could have been autopilot.

Now what really hacks me off is when one person (usually me) orders a desert and the other person doesn’t and they bring two spoons. Bloody cheek.

Cantstopsweeping · 09/06/2022 18:01

Dye your hair.

CustardySergeant · 09/06/2022 18:04

Cantstopsweeping · 09/06/2022 18:01

Dye your hair.

Why on earth should she?

Topseyt123 · 09/06/2022 18:05

BattenburgDonkey · 09/06/2022 17:54

Those saying OP should have asked for a new spoon, is that just to make a point? Struggling to understand the need for this because surely… the new spoon is just going to get put straight into the custard again right? How are you people eating custard without it touching the spoon?

If I am the customer then the point is that it is MY dessert. So I get to stick the spoon in when I am good and ready. It would also enable me to see for sure that the spoon was properly clean first

Actually, it just isn't anyone else's place to stick my cutlery into my food. 😉🤣

Walesscales · 09/06/2022 18:05

You say you're 34 but you come across as really foolish and naive. Your husband cheated on you. That should have been it. How much can he really love you if he cheated on you for 5 months? Him calling it off means nothing, especially as he's maintained contact with her. He's a grown man who can easily block her but he hasn't. Why hasn't this been enough reason to send him packing? He will very likely cheat again, distance means nothing. These messages could quickly turn sexual or they could find a way to see each other once in a while. Seriously get your head out of the clouds.

BattenburgDonkey · 09/06/2022 18:06

@Topseyt123 fair enough 😅

Chocaholic9 · 09/06/2022 18:07

How about she was just a bad waitress? Nothing to do with you. Seriously, if you get upset about things like this, you will go through life constantly miserable. Your family sound like idiots for making a thing of it.

ProfessorFusspot · 09/06/2022 18:08

I think it's odd, mainly because someone else ordered the same thing as you and it wasn't served in the same way. But your age or perceived age doesn't seem like a logical reason - maybe if you'd been on your own and seemed to be struggling, but in a group I'd think a member of the party would help anyone who needed it whether that be an older person, a child, someone in a cast, etc. It may have been that she got confused about another dish that's served differently and caught herself after she did yours wrong, or simply that the other person was further away and she didn't want to reach across the table.

I WOULD ask your family to stop going on about it if it's bothering you - you've been a good sport about it but these things aren't endlessly funny.

scrambledeggsandbeans · 09/06/2022 18:09

Mmmmmm..... beyond the pale!

Topseyt123 · 09/06/2022 18:09

@Walesscales I think you might have the wrong thread. 🤣🤣🤣

This one is a very serious discussion about spoons in custard. 😉🤣

BattenburgDonkey · 09/06/2022 18:09

Walesscales · 09/06/2022 18:05

You say you're 34 but you come across as really foolish and naive. Your husband cheated on you. That should have been it. How much can he really love you if he cheated on you for 5 months? Him calling it off means nothing, especially as he's maintained contact with her. He's a grown man who can easily block her but he hasn't. Why hasn't this been enough reason to send him packing? He will very likely cheat again, distance means nothing. These messages could quickly turn sexual or they could find a way to see each other once in a while. Seriously get your head out of the clouds.

I really hope you put an equally enraged comment about custardy spoons on whatever thread this should have been on 😅

dworky · 09/06/2022 18:10

Isn't it wonderful when people dismiss others lived experience.

OP clearly said she had noticed becoming more 'invisible' as an older woman, are you seriously denying this is true when so many report the same?
She also stated that she was the only one in the group who was handed the cutlery but inexplicably, it simply cannot be true that ageism is a factor.

Unsure whether it's denial, borne of fear of ageing, or simple gaslighting.

BattenburgDonkey · 09/06/2022 18:16

Unsure whether it's denial, borne of fear of ageing, or simple gaslighting.

Its actually that people think the waitress made a human error, because hospitality staff are human and make mistakes. Particularly at the minute when they are chronically understaffed and under paid. The ageism came in the form of OPs family cracking a joke at her expense at her birthday meal and upsetting her.

Beingadiv · 09/06/2022 18:16

I think she's got kids and did it without thinking

Chikapu · 09/06/2022 18:19

Seriously get your head out of the clouds

Clouds custard.

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