She brought our desserts to the table and placed them in front of us.. and then...

[Bunty55]

the waitress placed my spoon into my custard.
I was miffed.

I am 67, just had my birthday. I am the same as I ever was, same face, same figure, same vitality. The only thing that is different about me is the colour of my hair. I quit dyeing it two years ago and it is now silver.

I have noticed that I am sort of becoming invisible in a way I never imagined, and both my daughter and I think it is because of my hair.
Everyone at the table noticed what she did and were gobsmacked. I had to fish the spoon out and wipe it down since half of the handle was covered in bloody custard.
I would not even do that to my grandchildren !
I like my hair colour, but I do not like being treated as if I am in need of help.
Luckily, she did not offer to feed me :(

What independent panel decided this? Including the fact that there "couldn't be another reason"?!
You all sound well suited.

Johnny's girl

Don't get too overinvested in odd threads then

Lots of people much younger than 67 have grey hair. It’s not the hair.

Oh, yes to this! I once cut up cakes for colleagues at a work lunch when in prime mum mode 😳

Oh, and started peeling a banana fur another adult too …

All you had to do is tell her to take it back and bring your dessert to you without sticking anything into it. It's yours and you want to see it whole and unviolated before you begin eating.

No need to focus on hair color and age. You just had a stupid server.

When you say that at 67 you have the same face and figure as you ever did, what age are you referring to?
You may be slim and wrinkle free, but it's not difficult to guess a person's age within a 5-7 year margin or so..

Probably a complete slip up, nothing to do with you, or your hair.
Feel very sorry for the waitress! Of all the things she could have done, this is so minor.
Having your time spoiled and not going back is a massive reach. You're clearly self conscious about getting older. You're making an issue where there isn't one. Thank goodness you didn't complain - that poor waitress.
I genuinely believe most have no idea how awful being a waitress can be, you can often do nothing right no matter how hard you try. The majority of customers are beyond rude, and you're made to feel like shit and the lowest of the low as "just a waitress". I'd never do it again.

This seems a tad over the top. It's not like she scooped the custard up and dumped it on your grey hair head.🙄

Imagine making a complaint to a company to say ‘your staff member placed a spoon in custard.’ 😄

I am 67, just had my birthday. I am the same as I ever was, same face, same figure, same vitality. The only thing that is different about me is the colour of my hair. I quit dyeing it two years ago and it is now silver

It was decided that she thought I was an old lady because of my hair since there could not be another reason

So you're saying you look exactly the same as you did at 20, just with silver hair? You realise that's highly unlikely, lol.

One of 5000000 reasons I’m thrilled to have left the hospitality industry is never again having to deal with people like this, for poverty wages.

Me too. My hair’s been grey for the last 26 years and this has never happened to me. Or anything like it.

I’m another one that thinks she accidentally lapsed into mum/family mode.

If it was a nice meal, I’d be back. Something like that wouldn’t be a factor.

And I’m old(ish) and grey and can be a narky auld trout. I just couldn’t be arsed getting my hackles up about it at all. 🤷‍♀️

I'm grey, I wouldn't have liked the spoon in pudding either but I don't notice anyone treating me like I'm infirm because of the grey (or any other reason).

What a non issue. We all have moments of doing something odd at work. You sound paranoid. Maybe do some work on your confidence and self esteem.

I feel like I've slipped into the twilight zone with some of the threads on here recently but this one takes the (custard covered) biscuit!
Also, your thread title made me think of one of those 'she cut the elastic off an old pair of knickers, you'll never believe what happened next' videos that used to be all over FB.

I think as we get older it's easy to feel a bit sensitive about things that imply someone is treating us as an "old person". But honestly, I think the waitress probably just did this without thinking as others have suggested.

Its what she did and I don't know why.

Exactly. You literally have now idea why but if your hair is making you this paranoid, perhaps you need to rethink the grey?

Give up OP. Some posters at the moment are just itching for a ruck. Until something bothers them and they're be posting wanting understanding. Ignore them.

I get it. I've never, ever had my cutlery plopped onto my plate or into my bowl. It's just not done. Hospitality isn't what it was; it used to be universally good and now it's decidedly, patchy. Go where you're happy to be.

What did she do with everyone else's cutlery?

@Bunty55 You’re not wrong.

The casual ageism here on Mumsnet is definitely getting worse.

All us older women are good for, is providing free childcare, regular handouts and downsizing our family homes to give our adult offspring a house deposit.

It’s pretty depressing, to be honest. ☹️

Some of the comments on this thread are terrible.

I'm fucking dis custard 🙁

I'd be really annoyed if someone put a spoon in my dessert. Mind you I'm easily annoyed, I'm annoyed if the chef pours gravy over my potatoes (put it on the meat only or better yet on the side!) or if they only give you a spoon and not a spoon and fork to eat dessert with, if there are no Yorkshire puddings/stuffing/other important side thing left and they don't tell you and just bring the dinner without because usually I care more about the trimmings than I do the main food.

Worra