She brought our desserts to the table and placed them in front of us.. and then...

[Bunty55]

the waitress placed my spoon into my custard.
I was miffed.

I am 67, just had my birthday. I am the same as I ever was, same face, same figure, same vitality. The only thing that is different about me is the colour of my hair. I quit dyeing it two years ago and it is now silver.

I have noticed that I am sort of becoming invisible in a way I never imagined, and both my daughter and I think it is because of my hair.
Everyone at the table noticed what she did and were gobsmacked. I had to fish the spoon out and wipe it down since half of the handle was covered in bloody custard.
I would not even do that to my grandchildren !
I like my hair colour, but I do not like being treated as if I am in need of help.
Luckily, she did not offer to feed me :(

I'd be a bit miffed too if a waitress did that, I'd actually call her up in it and ask for a knife & fork to eat my custard with!

At least she didn't put a napkin in your collar.

They are the problem then, not the waitress

This would only make sense if putting a spoon into a bowl for an old person was A Thing. It’s not.

So yeah was odd that she did, but your hair isn’t the reason.

@Bunty55 this is totally a thing.

I'm disabled and, not all the time but often enough for it to be a thing, I get the opposite. Infantilised. I don't get handed a menu, but everyone else at the table does. When the waiter takes the orders, my DH is asked 'what is she having?' Or the head tilt, daft smile, 'what would you like dear?' while speaking to me in a baby voice. Fucks me right off. I've started copying them, it has happened that many times now.

The worst was on a business flight, arriving back at the end of the trip, 6 of us had travelled together. I'm the most senior manager there and everyone in the group was either a direct report or within my reporting line. I'm in an airport wheelchair until we get to baggage claim for my own. The wheelchair pusher (sorry don't know their job title) does the whole head tilt, baby voice and asked if I'd had a good time. Then looked at the rest of the group, who were open mouthed with shock, and used his normal voice to ask if they are all ok?

It sounds like it's your own actual family that ruined a pleasant evening, laughing at you and saying it must be because of your hair and then now trying thinking of name for you to continue taking the piss out of you with.

You're a stranger to the waitress and while I totally get while you'd feel offended that she'd done it because of your age, she probably thought she was being helpful and didn't realise the offence she'd cause, you family don't have that excuse and as well as laughing at you during the meal, have continued to do so after with the trying to think of a name to tease you with. It's one thing if you saw the funny side and laughed about it but you clearly didn't and we're annoyed by it, and yet they're still laughing at you?

Bloodyhell! If someone put my spoon in my custard I would not be bothered in the absolute slightest! What a strange thing to get upset about .

Odd behaviour from the OP and her family . Seriously . What an absolutely non issue .

It does sound odd, that she did it for you and not the rest of your group. But maybe she has a habit of doing it at home for children and just automatically did if she was distracted at the time whilst handing you yours. I remember cutting a fillet steak up for my husband once into small pieces when I was short of sleep and had two very little children!

Wow, such an emotive subject people's !

Thanks for all the replies even though some of you ran with a narrative and blew it completely out of the water !
I am not upset about it, and my family were not laughing at me.. they were laughing at the spoon being put into my pudding.
We have had a good few giggles since and all at my expense and they are now calling me daft names.

I just wondered why she felt the need to do it and the only thing we could think of was the colour of my hair. I do think going grey ages you, but I am not about to change it as I rather like the colour and the condition of it.

Maybe she's used to serving her kids like that. It's kind of like the dessert equivalent of reaching for an adults hand while crossing the road because you're so used to holding your childrens' hands when crossing the road. Yes I've done this and I also feel a bit insecure when crossing the road on my own and it's just dh and me. 😂 I always want to ask him why he didn't hold hands but control myself just in time 😂😂😂😂