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So exhausted with ex and his wife “managing me”

179 replies

LissyBooks · 29/05/2022 16:16

Divorced 10 years when children were very small (3 DC). Ex DH was useless, never bothered unless it was the ‘fun’ stuff, didn’t get up at night or in the mornings, was unemployed for two years whilst I go up to work at 5am.

We divorced and ex met his now wife. He started his own business and the pair of them are very successful financially. Beautiful house, 3 holidays a year, no children of their own. My life is the absolute opposite, I live in a run down rental, work all the hours I can and I’m single.

We share the children 50/50 - no maintenance paid.

Over the years ex has morphed into a “perfect parent” along with his wife. Whereas every decision I make is critiqued and criticised by them. Nothing I ever do is good enough. It’s almost like they see themselves as the saviours of the children from me. They complain I shout, they complain I’m not home enough, they advise me on parenting strategies, books to read, food to eat. I was criticised for giving paracetamol for a headache instead of giving it time to go away on its own (they are both health/gym obsessed).

I am certainly not a perfect parent, I do shout, I do lose my temper but I am by no means some benefits Britain mum who needs to be told how to raise my kids. I work in a senior job with above average wage, my children are
healthy, happy, good school attendance and well rounded kids.

Ive just received an essay from the stepmum that they are “concerned” about returning the children on Monday because I had an argument with the 16 year old (because I won’t be shouted at or disrespected in my own home). But any lashing out or “fuck off” from me is taken as proof of my awfulness

Theyve never had to cope on their own with 3 children. They have money, a cleaner, extended family and resources and they are looking down their noses at me constantly and judging the way I breathe

I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone!

OP posts:
LondonWolf · 31/05/2022 10:33

You sound like the kind of single mum that gives all single mums a bad reputation with your self entitled attitude. "Everyone else should pay for my choice to have kids".

What a nasty comment. Far worse than anything OP said. Quite shameful really.

TwinklingFairyLights · 31/05/2022 11:26

LondonWolf · 31/05/2022 10:33

You sound like the kind of single mum that gives all single mums a bad reputation with your self entitled attitude. "Everyone else should pay for my choice to have kids".

What a nasty comment. Far worse than anything OP said. Quite shameful really.

It was in response to the poster that suggested that OP's ex and his new wife should buy a house for OP. Anyone who expects OP's ex's new wife to fund a house for her is self entitled. Shamefully entitled.

wiggle69 · 07/12/2022 13:38

How old are the kids aside from the 16 year old? I would be careful because you don't want to end up in contact/residence proceedings with people who have a lot more resources than you. 16 year olds can vote with their feet but if the others are younger it sounds like this dreadful woman is angling at not bringing them back i.e. you end up in court.
I would refuse flat out to engage with the wife, she is not a parent to your children, if Dad has concerns he can be the one to discuss them with you. Why is he hiding behind her? Coward.

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gamerchick · 07/12/2022 13:51

This was may. It's doubtful the OP is coming back.

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