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A quick/instant death

198 replies

Kris02 · 25/05/2022 11:03

Morbid topic I know, but have you ever witnessed (or been told about) an instant, painless death? Most deaths seem to be preceded by lots of suffering and struggling - the death rattle, etc. I watched my grandmother die of a stroke, for example, which terrified me, as it took her 24 hours or more to die. The same was true of the cancer and heart deaths I’ve witnessed.

But I have been told by others that the’ve witnessed very quick deaths, almost instant in fact. My neighbour’s dad, for example, was sat in his chair watching the football. My neighbour went into the kitchen to get them both a beer and when he came back his dad was dead - just slumped there with a slight smile on his face, gone. My neighbour often says what a beautiful death it was and how grateful he is that he never saw his dad suffer.

My friend (a police officer) told me she’s often broken into a house or flat to find an elderly person dead in front of the TV. Once, she found an elderly woman sat at her breakfast table, with a plate of toast in front of her, dead, and yet kind of sitting there as if nothing had happened. That would do for me!

Personally, the thought of a lingering death terrifies me, and I find these stories weirdly comforting. I hope to be around for some time yet, but when I go, I’d really like to be slightly drunk on red wine, sat watching the TV. Do people really die like that? I don’t need to say goodbye to anyone. My loved ones know how much I love them. I tell them every day.

OP posts:
TigerLilyTail · 25/05/2022 11:06

It might be better to ask for a trigger warning on this.

Ive heard of people dying in their sleep. It’s a bit terrifying for me to think about going to sleep one night and just never waking up.

PurpleFlower1983 · 25/05/2022 11:09

My Nan had a quick death, she went to the toilet in the middle of the night and on her return to bed had a coronary thrombosis which led to a sudden heart attack. She slumped to the floor and died instantly. It was awful for my Grandad but she knew nothing or very little about it. The irony was my Grandfather had a serious heart condition since his mid 40s, he died when he was 83 after many operations and treatments. My Nan was only 71 and had no known problems with her heart.

PurpleFlower1983 · 25/05/2022 11:10

When my Grandad died it was much the same, he was about to brush his teeth.

Myusername2015 · 25/05/2022 11:11

i went out with my dad for afternoon tea; we came back he went to sleep on the sofa… book in his hand and died suddenly… found a few hours later just looking like he was having a peaceful snooze. He was elderly but no illness and post mortem found no cause. I still remember frantically confessing to the police I must have killed him by giving him a cream tea! A complete shock obviously at the time but completely peaceful death no signs of any pain or discomfort on his face.

OurChristmasMiracle · 25/05/2022 11:13

My great aunt was found dead with tele still on a half drank cup of tea and empty bag of crisps. (She used to have a bag of crisps watching soaps in the evening and was found following morning) she literally fell asleep in her chair by the looks of it and never woke.

I would be happy to follow her footsteps.

LynneBenfield · 25/05/2022 11:13

I would think the title is enough to tell people who might be triggered by the topic that it contains potentially distressing info/content @TigerLilyTail

It’s definitely a thing, OP and preferable in many ways for sure. Though utterly shocking for those left behind and no chance to say those things you always meant to say and do those things you meant to do.

spiderlight · 25/05/2022 11:16

When my friend was a teenager, she popped in to see an elderly neighbour. They had a bit of a chat, and then the neighbour said 'I've got a bit of a headache starting - could you get me some water and a couple of aspirin from the kitchen?' She went to get them, came back into the room no more than a minute later, and the old lady had died, just sitting there, no fuss. Not a bad way to go. Another friend of the family was out driving with his wife, who said that he just suddenly said 'I feel a bit funny - I'm just going to pull over for a minute', parked the car at the side of the road and then died. That was a heck of a shock for his wife, who had to flag down passing cars for help (this was long before mobile phones), but again, infinitely preferable to a lingering death.

TitInATrance · 25/05/2022 11:20

Yes. Person had an epileptic fit and never came round.
Hugely traumatising to witness - cannot overstate it, but they knew nothing about it.

Another acquaintance died in their sleep after going for an afternoon house, relative downstairs heard nothing. Recently another distant relation, 60s no physical illness, found dead in bed by their partner when they awoke.

Say what you mean when you feel it.

mdh2020 · 25/05/2022 11:21

My brother in law died in his sleep. No pain. His heart just stopped beating. Lovely way to go for him, not so good for my sister who was asleep beside him but even she now admits it was a good way to go.

Investicat · 25/05/2022 11:25

Yep they do. My aunt passed away on a seat in a shopping area, having sat down for a rest. My SIL’s dad died in his seat at the barbers. A neighbour of my grandma was found sitting on a kitchen chair still holding a tea towel.

All the above were very elderly so I wouldn’t worry about it too much if you’re relatively young.

CounsellorTroi · 25/05/2022 11:29

My mum died of pneumonia aged 93. It wasn’t quick - she was found unresponsive in the morning and died at about 1pm that day - but it did seem to be quiet and peaceful. Pneumonia is known as the old man’s friend for this reason.

PurpleFlower1983 · 25/05/2022 11:32

spiderlight · 25/05/2022 11:16

When my friend was a teenager, she popped in to see an elderly neighbour. They had a bit of a chat, and then the neighbour said 'I've got a bit of a headache starting - could you get me some water and a couple of aspirin from the kitchen?' She went to get them, came back into the room no more than a minute later, and the old lady had died, just sitting there, no fuss. Not a bad way to go. Another friend of the family was out driving with his wife, who said that he just suddenly said 'I feel a bit funny - I'm just going to pull over for a minute', parked the car at the side of the road and then died. That was a heck of a shock for his wife, who had to flag down passing cars for help (this was long before mobile phones), but again, infinitely preferable to a lingering death.

I know someone who this happened to too, she’s passed away now but her husband was driving and he seems to pull over. She turned to him and asked what he was doing and he was dead.

OldTinHat · 25/05/2022 11:33

My neighbour's husband died in his sleep next to her. He said the day before that he didn't feel right (60s).

Another neighbour said to previous neighbour he felt off, next morning went to feed his horses and was found dead in the field. (80s)

Friend's wife made a cake, gave him some. Went to the kitchen and came back in a few minutes later and he had passed. (50s).

slavetothekittens · 25/05/2022 11:33

Had an Uncle who died sat at the dining table after finishing his evening meal. Awful shock for his wife but I could well imagine him being very pleased that he managed to finish his dinner first!

MissWired · 25/05/2022 11:34

My grandad was 66 - massive heart attack, died sitting in a chair, it was so quick that the cigarette he was holding didn't fall from between his fingers and scorched them as it burned down to the stub.

His sister was similar - aged 51, went out to bingo, came home, opened the back door and died instantly from a heart attack as she locked it behind her. It was so fast that she still had the key in her hand.

If I go that way that's fine by me.

easyday · 25/05/2022 11:35

I'm, yes, but it's when too.
My husband died suddenly of a heart attack which (so the coroner told me) even if I had been there I couldn't have helped. But he was 51, our kids were small, and it was tragic.
My aunt by died at 90 in her sleep. It was expected as she had been deteriorating, but she was in her home and at peace with it. Her affairs were in order, she saw her children, she was in a good place with everyone. That's the way to go.

Phillipa12 · 25/05/2022 11:41

My mum. She was sat in her caravan chatting to my sister, she got up to make a drink, said she felt funny and collapsed, she was dead before she hit the floor. Traumatic for my sister as she had to perform cpr till help arrived, but we all look back on it and say if there is a way to go it's that way.

theDudesmummy · 25/05/2022 11:45

My grandad was watching cricket on TV with my dad and my dad looked over and saw he was dead, still just sitting in the chair. He was 90. That is pretty much what I would wish for (although I would be watching rugby!).

My granny just didn't wake up one morning. She had become a bit demented but not to the point where she really got distressed.

MarmiteOnToast · 25/05/2022 11:45

A friends dad had hairdresser round told him to go wash/ wet his hair, he bent over bath with the shower hose and died!

My dn died watching tv looked asleep

Dhs gf asked the carer to get him water and she returned and he had passed on the bed.

LeeMucklowesCurtains · 25/05/2022 11:46

My grandmother died in her sleep at 90, still living independently up to then, looking after herself in every way.

Sudden heart attack they said.

My dad found when she hadn’t picked up the phone for a couple of days, her laying peacefully, no sign of any distress, just tucked up in bed with her rollers in and an empty cup of tea on the bedside table.

Thats how I want to go.

Crimesean · 25/05/2022 11:50

I saw a man jump in front of a train, and the aftermath.

I expect it was very quick, too fast to be painful, but I imagine the mental pain beforehand was significant.

It was bloody horrible for the train driver, and the folk on the platform (although obviously not as bad as it was for his family and friends).

prettyteapotsplease · 25/05/2022 11:50

A neighbour's mate in the pub. Sitting at the table, for the sake of argument, Tom turned to Dick and said, "Harry's gone a bit quiet, quieter than usual, is he all right?" Poor old Harry had died very suddenly and quietly. I don't know what happened next but it must have been an awful shock for his mates.

A friend's FIL died during his Christmas dinner - he'd just finished his main course and his wife was dishing up the pudding. Very sudden - it was joked that he'd always had a sense of occasion.

scrambledeggsandbeans · 25/05/2022 11:50

Yes my husband we had a fantastic day at a wedding, we went back to our hotel room a he had a massive heart attack he died before I could call for help. He was 54

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 25/05/2022 11:51

Both my grandas died very quickly.

One died having a nap in his chair. The other died while having a walk. Just fell to the ground. Despite him dying outside the house of an a&e nurse who was there within seconds, he was away.

Both were a grand age so it was maybe just time catching up with them.

It always feels rotten for those left behind but to go without pain or fear? I’m glad it was that way for them.

peachgreen · 25/05/2022 11:51

My husband died from a cardiac arrest. He went instantly, didn't make a sound, just fell backwards (he was sitting on the bed) and was gone. The traumatic part was doing CPR and watch the paramedics do CPR. I almost wish that we hadn't, in many ways, because it was very distressing and achieved nothing.

It haunted me for a long time, the idea that he might have known it was happening and felt frightened. But I've done so much reading and speaking to medical professionals and now I know that he wouldn't have known anything about it.