A quick/instant death

[Kris02]

Morbid topic I know, but have you ever witnessed (or been told about) an instant, painless death? Most deaths seem to be preceded by lots of suffering and struggling - the death rattle, etc. I watched my grandmother die of a stroke, for example, which terrified me, as it took her 24 hours or more to die. The same was true of the cancer and heart deaths I’ve witnessed.

But I have been told by others that the’ve witnessed very quick deaths, almost instant in fact. My neighbour’s dad, for example, was sat in his chair watching the football. My neighbour went into the kitchen to get them both a beer and when he came back his dad was dead - just slumped there with a slight smile on his face, gone. My neighbour often says what a beautiful death it was and how grateful he is that he never saw his dad suffer.

My friend (a police officer) told me she’s often broken into a house or flat to find an elderly person dead in front of the TV. Once, she found an elderly woman sat at her breakfast table, with a plate of toast in front of her, dead, and yet kind of sitting there as if nothing had happened. That would do for me!

Personally, the thought of a lingering death terrifies me, and I find these stories weirdly comforting. I hope to be around for some time yet, but when I go, I’d really like to be slightly drunk on red wine, sat watching the TV. Do people really die like that? I don’t need to say goodbye to anyone. My loved ones know how much I love them. I tell them every day.

I found a relative in her chair in front of the TV, with a happy, peaceful expression on her face. She hadn’t been answering the phone. She was early 70s and had had no health issues prior. Nice way to go, would like her to have lived longer though!

To be elderly , 75/80 ish and to pass away suddenly is not a bad way to go.
It's sad and tragic when younger people die suddenly, especially with young children. It's a big shock.
A good friend of mine, early 50s dropped dead in the street with no warning. It was awful, she had teenage sons and they were devastated, as were all her family and friends. I would like to go quickly, but not yet please!!

My grandad died whilst playing in a chess tournament. He was mid match and just... died.
He was so competitive, my granny said he must have realised it wasn't going well and had to do something to avoid being seen losing!

My DGF had a heart attack and died in his sleep. I hope it was really quick but they usually are if you dont survive them.

My DFs friend had a heart attack and just dropped dead to the floor.

My DGM died in her sleep.

My mother's death was slow, I suppose, but I really don't think she suffered. She basically got weaker and weaker and then slipped into a sort of coma. Over a couple of days her breathing got slower and slower until she just stopped.

I used to feel envious of a sister in law, whose DPs both died instantly - one a heart attack, while opening a garage door, the other, a massive stroke while eating a piece of toast. Both were a good age.

OTOH one of mine had cancer, the other had dementia for 15 years.🙁

A friend’s mother died in her sleep at 94. She hadn’t even been ill.

Old school friend of mine died in a car accident when we were teenagers. It was car vs lorry, he was thrown from the vehicle. His parents were told that he most likely died on impact and would have been dead before his body hit the road.

It happens more often than we think.

The most common examples in my life with people I know have been sudden heart attacks.

My DH's grandfather went suddenly from a heart attack;he was reading the paper;looked up and said to his wife "I feel abit funny" and closed his eyes and that was it;gone.

A elderly neighbour fell and hit their head in the kitchen and died.

A few months ago another elderly neighbour passed peacefully in his sleep.

Tbh I'd like to go out passing peacefully in my sleep than a long drawn out death.

My dad suffered for a while due to having cancer but his actual death in February was very peaceful. My mum helped him to the bathroom, he sat back down on the bed, said I'm so tired and slumped backwards and he was gone.

My Dad died from an Aortic Aneurysm, nobody was with him when he died as he'd stayed up to watch TV but Mum found him sitting on the floor with his elbow on the sofa and his head resting on his hand as he always did.
The paramedics said they'd been to many Aneurysm victims and that it would've been instant.

One thing a lot of people don't know is that older men can get a free scan to check for it, it's called AAA, it's a quick ultrasound to look for swelling in the Aorta and could've saved my Dad's life if he'd been called for his so please if you know a man in his 60's who hasn't been then please ask them to go.

I know of someone who got up from the table after eating dinner, collapsed and died.

It's terrifying to think that anyone could just die at any moment.

DH was 36, fit and well, when he collapsed with a brain haemorrhage. He had a bit of a headache but was conscious and speaking until arrival at A and E, where he extended the bleed, went into a coma, was ventilated and then certified brain dead two days later, before organ harvesting. It was relatively quick and painless for him, but devastating for me and his family.

as a child our neighbours where an older couple
she was lovely,him not so much
he came in from gardening,ate lunch ‘oh Betty,I don’t feel well’ and keeled over
dead before he hit the floor
she died of cancer a few years later-I saw her out and about on the Friday and by the monday she passed in her sleep in hospital

my grandfather went to bed and just never woke up-his carers found him the next day

my ex landlord was playing hockey
everyone ran down the pitch,turned round and he’d died-just dropped down dead

my in-laws had been married 50 years
my darling fil had cancer and went downhill fast-my lovely mil nursed him
watching him suffer was just awful
anyway we saw him on the Friday,said our goodbyes and left
on the Monday my mils sister (who’s a nurse) came round to give her a break-they both thought fil was looking a bit ‘better’
mil went for a wash and sister was making a cuppa for everyone
fil waited until they where both out of the room and just slipped peacefully away-not a mark of pain on his face
(my mil will never forgive herself for not being there,holding his hand)

my sil had battens disease
long story short,she ended up in a home with others who suffered the same illness
they knew she wouldn’t make 30 but they got a call when she was 24 saying they’d put her to bed-an hour later she passed-just closed her eyes and never woke up

lad I worked with-went to bed,had a fit,choked on his vomit and died
he wouldn’t have known a thing about it

my dad hates football but for some reason was watching a match at school
he watched a lad run down the pitch and just dropped dead
something to do with his heart

i was talking to a lady who was a carer-just before she went on her break,a lady asked her to paint her nails
she did and made the lady a cuppa then went on her break
lady was dead within 5 minutes of being left-cup of tea still steaming in front of her
we agreed that the lady knew and wanted to look nice for the afterlife

My FIL died in the gym on the running machine 21 years ago. He seems so fit and healthy and my in-laws came back from a lovely Holiday the day before he had a heart attack. No signs he was poorly and had run the London Mathon and was in a runners club. So terribly sad. My OH had to identify his DF because my MIL was in a awful state. Apparently, he never suffers and died instantly. The regret my OH always says is, he would of been a fantastic GF to our three DC's and would of been on hand to help out with DIY. My FIL loved DIY and was so hands on. Plus, miss his dry sense of humour.

It happened one shift I was working in a working men's club, the man was standing and he just dropped with a heart attack. One of the other customers was a paramedic and he obviously ran to help, and, as you would expect, began CPR, but he told us quietly afterwards that he'd known instantly there was no point, the man was probably dead before he hit the floor, and would have known nothing about it.

My dad died very suddenly walking down a garden path just collapsed from a heart attack at 47 they did manage to bring him back but he never regained consciousness and passed during that night, then my cousin has just passed of a massive heart attack a few weeks ago at 27 was home with his partner and his baby who was a week off being 1 and he collapsed and passed away awful for family that they leave behind 💔

We also lost my nan very suddenly she went to town got the bus home decided she wanted a nap went to bed and just never woke up she was in her 70s

I dont think I'd like a sudden death, not when it would traumatise my family.
I think I'd like to be told I had two weeks to live, with excellent pain relief available so I was comfortable, with the mental capacity to get my affairs in order and say all my goodbyes.

My grandad died in his sleep, no signs of a struggle, was just curled up peacefully.

Old neighbour of ours was sat in the armchair reading the paper when his wife popped to the shop, he was only early 60's and seemed very fit and well. Was dead when she got back, had a brain haemorrhage I think.

DH grandad (80) walked to the shop for his paper (he walked miles every day, was very healthy for his age). Dropped down dead outside the shop.

My grandfather died unexpectedly (no previous indication) of a heart attack. He had been alone that morning as my grandmother had left for her voluntary teaching job. We hope that was quick and painless, but they couldn't tell us anything much other than the approximate time of death.

@Kris02 I’m reading this at the moment read.amazon.co.uk/kp/embed?asin=B074DPNGWH&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_B124P4EEC3AEC8FZGEKX
it will change the way you look at death, in a positive way. Alternatively listen to her on this podcast
podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/ep-91-dr-kathryn-mannix/id1178572854?i=1000445756941

@RamSyder that book is honestly amazing

I disagree with this; watching my grandfather go from living a normal life and receiving a shock cancer diagnosis, to steadily declining over the space of 8 weeks, was traumatic for his loved ones, and absolute torture for him. He was in a great deal of pain and completely lost his mind very quickly, so there was no benefit in being able to get his ‘life in order’. The hellish ordeal was dragged out over two months.

A quick, painless death is best for everyone.

@ProclivityForPyrotechnics it really is. I’d put off reading it for a while but I’m so glad I got over it and started reading it. Health professionals should explain the process of death better to families. The way we dealt with the PIL when they were clearly dying would have been very different if I’d read this before.

My dad, seemingly fit and very active 84 year old, died sitting on the terrace in the sun with a coffee next to him so assume it was very quick and relatively painless.

Unfortunately it was our son who found him when he arrived home from school and thought he was asleep. I was playing golf when I got the call, became hysterical. Took us an hour to get home. Dreadful time for us, especially our son who was distraught as very, very close to my dad who lived with us. However, I have always thought it was pretty much the way my dad would have dreamed of going.