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A quick/instant death

198 replies

Kris02 · 25/05/2022 11:03

Morbid topic I know, but have you ever witnessed (or been told about) an instant, painless death? Most deaths seem to be preceded by lots of suffering and struggling - the death rattle, etc. I watched my grandmother die of a stroke, for example, which terrified me, as it took her 24 hours or more to die. The same was true of the cancer and heart deaths I’ve witnessed.

But I have been told by others that the’ve witnessed very quick deaths, almost instant in fact. My neighbour’s dad, for example, was sat in his chair watching the football. My neighbour went into the kitchen to get them both a beer and when he came back his dad was dead - just slumped there with a slight smile on his face, gone. My neighbour often says what a beautiful death it was and how grateful he is that he never saw his dad suffer.

My friend (a police officer) told me she’s often broken into a house or flat to find an elderly person dead in front of the TV. Once, she found an elderly woman sat at her breakfast table, with a plate of toast in front of her, dead, and yet kind of sitting there as if nothing had happened. That would do for me!

Personally, the thought of a lingering death terrifies me, and I find these stories weirdly comforting. I hope to be around for some time yet, but when I go, I’d really like to be slightly drunk on red wine, sat watching the TV. Do people really die like that? I don’t need to say goodbye to anyone. My loved ones know how much I love them. I tell them every day.

OP posts:
supertedious · 25/05/2022 11:52

My grandfather, an active farmer, suffered a heart attack. He was sat at the table with a cup of tea, reading his morning paper following milking the cows. Quick and peaceful. Although I feel so sorry for grandmother who found him.

girlmom21 · 25/05/2022 11:53

My grandad had a heart attack in a pub. He'd had loads of them but this time it got him. Unfortunately they kept him 'alive' in hospital for another day after that. I hope he wasn't aware of that. He'd have hated it.

StooOrangeyForCrows · 25/05/2022 11:54

A friend of mine died in his sleep aged 53. An atherosclerotic plaque had moved and blocked one of the major vessels in his heart. Judging by the fact that he looked peaceful, I suspect he didn't know a thing about it.

prettyteapotsplease · 25/05/2022 12:00

I've just remembered another. DH worked shifts and a colleague told him about this. Tom had 'handed over' to Fred and about to go home, got his stuff out of his locker and was about to get on his bike and something made him turn round, just in time to see Fred keel over, dead as a door nail. Terrible shock. Tom had to ring round (24 hour shift system as HR only 9-5) to get the boss at home. Poor chap had to work another shift on top of the previous one as panic ensued. This had never happened before and hopefully never will again.

bigbluebus · 25/05/2022 12:03

My Dad died half way through eating his breakfast. My Mum who was still in bed thought he must have gone out to get his newspaper. It was only when he hadn't 'returned' that she wondered around the house looking for him and found him slumped over his cereal definitely cold.

wizzler · 25/05/2022 12:13

My friend was sitting on a bench with her husband. She put her head on his shoulder and died. Very peaceful.

FloweryBodySpray · 25/05/2022 12:17

My Aunts husband, went to bed together and she woke up and he was dead next to her. She was hugely traumatised as apparently he'd died shortly after she fell asleep, but I think I'd prefer that to a drawn out process.

MorrisZapp · 25/05/2022 12:21

My friend's mum died whilst sitting on her sofa doing a crossword. Her neighbour found her, the pen still in her hand and her suitcase upstairs half packed for an upcoming trip to Majorca.

TigerLilyTail · 25/05/2022 12:21

LynneBenfield · 25/05/2022 11:13

I would think the title is enough to tell people who might be triggered by the topic that it contains potentially distressing info/content @TigerLilyTail

It’s definitely a thing, OP and preferable in many ways for sure. Though utterly shocking for those left behind and no chance to say those things you always meant to say and do those things you meant to do.

Well, I didn’t think so. 🤷‍♀️

I thought it would be about a pet or something. I didn’t expect this.

ItsSnowJokes · 25/05/2022 12:23

My wonderful dad went to sleep and never woke up. He had a massive heart attack in his sleep and was only 65. Not obese, just unlucky I guess. Wonderful for the person that goes, a massive shock for everyone involved.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 25/05/2022 12:24

I personally don't know any family/friends instant deaths - they've all been either ill/suddenly ill and then died.

Friend of stepdad's - his sister was in a house with him, probably early 50s, sat down on the stairs and said "I don't feel well, I think I'm going to die" and then died - must've been a heart attack and they did call an ambulance and tried to revive before but nothing.

Sudden deaths like brain haemorrhages (I've known of two people who've had these, one in a house, another maybe at home and then to hospital) - ok they're sudden and fairly quick but they're not peaceful. Or not to family.

ninnynonny · 25/05/2022 12:29

Thing is , how do we know for certain, there was no pain? It could have been a tremendous agonising pain for a second. My Mum had a stroke and a brain haemorrhage whilst she was on her own and we didn't find her until the next morning - she was still alive and didn't actually die for a few months, but it had pretty much wiped her memory and cognitive function and she remembered nothing about it. It just tears me up that she must have been in excruciating pain for a short while before collapsing

ShippingNews · 25/05/2022 12:33

My Dad died while brushing his teeth. Mum Thought he'd been in the bathroom a long time , went in to find him sitting at the sink with his electric toothbrush still whirring away , and he was gone. Autoplay showed a ruptured aortic aneurysm. I hope I have something so quick and ( presumably) painless.

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 25/05/2022 12:33

I saw an elderly patient die in a hospital waiting room. He was sat in a chair leant back against the wall waiting to be called for his appointment. He had his eyes closed so we thought he was asleep.
When a staff member called for 'Mr Smith' he didn't respond, so they thought he was deaf. They went over to him and touched him gently on the arm. He still didn't respond. Then they realised that 'Mr Smith' had left us to keep another appointment somewhere else......

ShippingNews · 25/05/2022 12:35

*autopsy not autoplay !

Pavlova31 · 25/05/2022 12:35

A friends Gran seemed to be perfectly healthy.Sat up in her chair holding her head and passed away instantly from a brain hemmorage (Sp.)
Another was an elderly relative,dressed and ready to go to the shops suddenly collapsing and dying from a Stroke.

Treecloudtree · 25/05/2022 12:36

TigerLilyTail · 25/05/2022 11:06

It might be better to ask for a trigger warning on this.

Ive heard of people dying in their sleep. It’s a bit terrifying for me to think about going to sleep one night and just never waking up.

Oh give over, the title lets you know if it will trigger you

VenusClapTrap · 25/05/2022 12:36

Two locally. A fellow school mum who went to bed and died of a blood clot in her sleep. She was found by one of her children, who got into bed with her in the morning and tried to wake her up. It was so sad. She was only in her forties, kids at primary school.

The other was a seventeen year old on a sleepover for her friend’s 18th birthday. Just didn’t wake up in the morning. The parents of the birthday girl had gone away for the weekend, and as she was the only ‘adult’ there she had to deal with all the police stuff on top of dealing with the sudden loss of her best friend. People assumed drugs/drink but it was just an undiagnosed weak heart.

It’s not always old people.

WhereTheLightningBugsBlaze · 25/05/2022 12:36

I was following a motorbike that was involved in a collision in front of me. Massive injuries to the head and neck and he was gone by the time I got out of the car and ran over. That was awful

my dads uncle went down in the morning to make a cup of tea, and never went back to bed. Massive heart attack, his wife found him on the floor in the kitchen

merryhouse · 25/05/2022 12:37

My great-aunt was found in her hallway, with the Christmas cake ingredients half-measured out on the kitchen table.

H's grandmother asked her husband to fetch her a cough sweet, and when he came back she was gone.

Fizbosshoes · 25/05/2022 12:40

Yes I've heard of several instances of people I know, some very tragically young. (One died during a bike ride)
Although no kne wants to their loved ones to suffer, or be in pain, it's much more shocking and traumatic when someone dies without any "warning signs" .

Doofas · 25/05/2022 12:41

My auntie used to ring my grandma every morning just to check in that she was awake and ok. One morning despite repeated ringing she got no answer so jumped in the car and went round, let herself in and my grandma was there dead in the floor by her bed. One sock of and one sock on. No one knows if she was getting ready for bed ie it happened the night before. Or she was getting dressed in had recently happened. She lived in sheltered accommodation so the staff there were able to take over dealing with the situation.

CheesusWept · 25/05/2022 12:44

I gave CPR to a man who had a cardiac arrest on a train. By some miracle, he survived. The ambulance crew worked on him for over an hour when they arrived.

I found the whole thing quite traumatic but by all accounts he didn’t remember a thing about it. Said he felt breathless on the train, then recollected nothing else at all until he came to in hospital. I found that part quite comforting - I hope that when you go there is just nothing.

AlternativePerspective · 25/05/2022 12:45

<disclaimer> this post could potentially be triggering to some.

In 2019 I had a cardiac arrest. I was actually in hospital at the time but was doing relatively well. Woke up one night, sat up and the world started spinning around me. Rang the bell and the nurse arrived followed by the crash team. Afterwards I saw the consultant who said that I’d gone to having a conversation with him to them needing to perform CPR. Had I not been in hospital I would have died. There is absolutely no question of that.

However, to those who say that they’re afraid the person might be aware of what was happening to them, I was. I was aware of the consultant talking to me, of them putting the pads on, and him starting CPR. I actually begged him to stop, but I’m not sure whether I verbalised it or said it in my head. And then there was oblivion, and I woke up the next morning having spent the night on a ventilator.

To this day I can still remember having chest compressions, and I have even had dreams where I’ve been having CPR, although fortunately not recently.

But having said that, when I think back, while I know the last minute or so was traumatising, I know that I went from feeling ill to essentially being dead within seconds, and although I remember it now that I’ve returned so to speak, if I think about it, I’m not afraid of dying any more. And if I’m going to die, despite what I know and have experienced, that’s still how I want to do it.

LeftFootForward · 25/05/2022 12:49

We've had a few very sudden deaths in my family, a grand parent and grand parents siblings, sudden heart attacks.

To be honest I'd rather have the chance to say goodbye to my loved ones and get my affairs in order before I go.

I've also seen my fare share of lingering deaths (I used to nurse) so I can see what you mean OP, especially if the lingering is done in hospital rather than at home.

I think the best way is to drift off in your sleep as many people do if they are medicated.