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Original poster

If you did this sort of epic favour for someone, what would you expect them to provide

453 replies

Noclosure · 17/05/2022 19:49

I feel I've been proper mugged off this weekend.

As a favour looked after a friend's 4 children and pets for 4 nights 5 days Fri-Tues so the couple could go on holiday.

The children include a teething and weaning 6 month baby who doesn't sleep. The older ones are in different primary school years.

The weekend included getting the kids off to their separate activities such as sports etc, some ferrying journeys and all the usual kid stuff you would expect including administration of medication, cooking, cleaning , laundry etc. Then all school runs on the Monday and Tuesday with the baby in tow.

What as a very minimum would you expect to be provided in the house if you are there to look after them but also have your own children there too? Would you expect to have to provide your own food for yourself and DC that weekend or would you think you'd just all eat together as a family?

I don't think I'm being unreasonable but I'm feeling really hurt and a bit taken advantage of with how things were left and what I had to do and provide/pay for so I'm just canvassing opinions.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 17/05/2022 19:51

I no wound expect all food to be provided by the hosting house, ALL FOOD - plus money for incidentals (there are always incidentals)

LaurieFairyCake · 17/05/2022 19:51

I WOULD

Jovanka · 17/05/2022 19:52

😮

I would expect there to be enough provisions for you all - including your family - for the weekend. And some treats. That is indeed one massive favour.

MayorDusty · 17/05/2022 19:53

If I looked after someone's four kids for that long I'd want a damehood and three weeks in the Maldives.
Was it a surprise holiday or a competition win? How did you get roped in to that?

GandTfortea · 17/05/2022 19:53

Why did you agree to this without setting the terms first ..I wouldn’t even do that for family ,who the hell leaves a 6 month old baby to go on holiday .no one in their right mind would agree to take on what you did ,there’s being kind and wanting to help ,and there’s being a door mat ,and saying ,wipe your feet on me

JustHereWithPopcorn · 17/05/2022 19:53

Omg that's an awful lot they are expecting for you! I would expect all the food provided for everyone, money for petrol, extras and for emergency. Also just money or large gift for you for doing the favour!! It's a huge favour!!

JayAlfredPrufrock · 17/05/2022 19:54

I wouldn’t expect anything as I wouldn’t even have offered!!!

what did they leave. Just enough for their kids!

EmotionalSupportOlive · 17/05/2022 19:54

Full fridge and freezer with enough for everyone in the house for the 5 days, empty washing basket on arrival, petrol money as a minimum you shouldn't have been out of pocket.

lunar1 · 17/05/2022 19:54

If someone did that for me (I would never ask this!) the kitchen would be full of food, there would be takeaway money to cover everyone, I'd cancel most activities if that was easier and there would be money for a day out or cinema trip-I'd try to make sure you had some downtime.

addler · 17/05/2022 19:54

So they realise how many hundreds of pounds it would cost for a temporary nanny to come in and do that? If they haven't gone above and beyond in their gratitude to you they're taking the piss, and you've been taken advantage of.

BarryKentPoet · 17/05/2022 19:54

I wouldn't do a favour this big unless there was some sort of medical emergency or something.

Triffid1 · 17/05/2022 19:55

Wait - you moved yourself AND your children into their house for 4 nights, and looked after THEIR children but you had to buy the food and pay for incidentals? And I'm assuming they came back and didn't so much as bring you a gift?

There must be a massive drip feed because I cannot imagine how anyone would be okay with that unless they have done similar for you in the past.

At the very least, I'd expect absolutely all food shopping etc to have been done. I certainly would NOT expect you to do laundry (barring some unforeseen laundry crisis such as a vomiting moment or a moment of muddy madness at the park), and I'd be so pathetically grateful on ym return I'd have brought you a massive gift.

BigRedDuck · 17/05/2022 19:55

I would have packed the cupboards and fridge/freezer with shit loads of food, treats, pet food, money for fuel and left a kitty in case of any emergencies. And brought home a very expensive gift or at least some flowers and nice beverages as a thankyou. Or return the favour!!!

thefirstmrsrochester · 17/05/2022 19:55

As above, with money left for entertainment/incidentals/takeaway. Also unforeseen costs. And a very generous thank you gift on their return.

Itsvalentino · 17/05/2022 19:55

I’d have left the house fully stocked with food, and treats, as well as money for take away and emergencies.

I’d also have thanked you profusely, with flowers, chocolate etc

Williamshatnershorses · 17/05/2022 19:55

I would expect all food provided plus a few extra treats for me and then something fairly significant from duty free.

HipsterCoffeeShop · 17/05/2022 19:55

Yeah I'd expect a fridge full of food, a clean and tidy house and some cash (£100?) for snacks/fuel/emergencies.

BigRedDuck · 17/05/2022 19:56

Also would have cancelled the activities so that you had to do as little running round as possible!

ShirleyPhallus · 17/05/2022 19:56

Firstly I wouldn’t agree to that ever as a 6 month baby is a lot, never mind the rest!

If someone did that for me though I’d leave them a full fridge of food, some cooked dinners, easy food / snacks, some cash for takeaways / park treats etc. I’d also ask them if they wanted to be paid and if not, a really generous gift.

Id also promise them a kidney if they ever needed it and the promise of naming my next child after them.

HOWEVER there are way too many threads on here of people being absolute mugs and paying for strangers dinner / weekends away for friends / day trips to spas etc because they’re too much do a doormat to say anything. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. You have to tell them how hurt you are by their treatment and ask them for money. Do not stand for whatever they’ve done to you.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 17/05/2022 19:56

If I was doing such a big favour, I would expect them to provide all the food and extras like snacks, drinks too. Or if they didn't have time to stock up, expect them to leave some money at least.

wotwududo · 17/05/2022 19:57

Full fridge/freezer. Money fir petrol/expenses/takeaway. £200 for my trouble.

Roseteacups · 17/05/2022 19:57

ALL food for the 4 children and ALL food for the carer and their children. If it were me I would offer to give fuel money and money for treats and would offer to buy a takeaway. I would leave treats and when I returned I would give wine and flowers. Thst is the minimum I will do for such a HUGE favour.

MayorDusty · 17/05/2022 19:59

I was just thinking I'd rather give someone a kidney Shirl, who would even ask that!

JaninaDuszejko · 17/05/2022 19:59

I'd be expecting a new car as a present for my next birthday.

WalkerWalking · 17/05/2022 19:59

Christ alive- if I ever go away for the "weekend" (ie ONE night) I leave my own husband with a full fridge, including adult snacks/treats. The only way YABU is if these parents had to leave in a big hurry to get to a family emergency on the other side of the world.