If you did this sort of epic favour for someone, what would you expect them to provide

[Noclosure]

I feel I've been proper mugged off this weekend.

As a favour looked after a friend's 4 children and pets for 4 nights 5 days Fri-Tues so the couple could go on holiday.

The children include a teething and weaning 6 month baby who doesn't sleep. The older ones are in different primary school years.

The weekend included getting the kids off to their separate activities such as sports etc, some ferrying journeys and all the usual kid stuff you would expect including administration of medication, cooking, cleaning , laundry etc. Then all school runs on the Monday and Tuesday with the baby in tow.

What as a very minimum would you expect to be provided in the house if you are there to look after them but also have your own children there too? Would you expect to have to provide your own food for yourself and DC that weekend or would you think you'd just all eat together as a family?

I don't think I'm being unreasonable but I'm feeling really hurt and a bit taken advantage of with how things were left and what I had to do and provide/pay for so I'm just canvassing opinions.

It doesn't really make a difference- it's just that it seems something a closer relative would ask rather than a friend. But obviously could be wrong!

That's so unthinking!!!! Do they usually take others into consideration?

That is really shitty. I would have prepared meals in advance in the fridge and bought in nice easy food to cook etc. My parents or inlaws have looked after my children over the weekend and I have bought and prepared nice meals for them (and my MIL has brought her own food as well but thats another story)

I'm cross on your behalf.

Wow that is an epic favour and you sound like a wonderful person OP. They sound absolutely clueless (being generous) and don’t deserve you.

I think it’s just as bad from friend or family tbh. They should have done the best they could to give you an easy time. No wonder you feel exhausted and let down

Gosh that's incredibly poor planning on their part and frankly rude, but it does sound like you've been reimbursed in full without question and there's a thank you on the way? As long as it's a really bloody good thank you then I think you'll have to let it go (and get them to return the favour at some point). You're obviously close friends, I don't think it's worth falling out over, but yes, I'd be pissed off.

They have been massive CFs, leaving you with everything to do. I think I would have to say something to them about how unfair they had been. I really hope it is a very nice thank you present, along the lines of a posh spa day (and them looking after your children when you go)!

If one of my friends or family was doing this for me i would do some serious planning in advance so that there was EVERYTHING ready for them. Fully stocked fridge, freezer, pantry, loo rolls and miscellaneous in the bathroom... for my dc and theirs. Easy meals or pre made meal portions in the freezer wo they didnt have to cook much. And plenty of treats!!!! Absolute bare minimum

I don't understand parents going off on holiday without their children. One night away for a wedding do or something, but not a full holiday!! My parents would never have dumped us on somebody else and gone off on a jolly, and I would never have done it to my children either. Holidays should be a family affair if you have young children!!

This!

That’s awful. There should have been food for all the meals, even if it were pizza and chips. At least they reimbursed you.

(waiting for this thread to be picked up by Daily Fail).

Have you expressed your feelings to them? Have they acknowledged in any way that they left you up shit creek?

The CFery of some people astounds me. If they send you something stupid like a bunch of flowers I would tell them to shove it. Returning the favour means taking on (and feeding) your kids to give you a break for 5 days!!

Aside from their epic cheeky fuckerness towards you, what kind of parents fuck off on holiday and without leaving enough food at home for their kids and pets? Shit parents. Shit friends.

Blimey there’s not a cat in hells chance I would do that - not for anyone. But then, I certainly wouldn’t ask someone to do it either. Jeezo op, I guess you live and learn - do not volunteer to help them again!

I don't think it makes a difference if friends or family. Either way they should have provided food and activity money. I wouldn't have left wine though. I don't think it's OK for someone in sole care of children, especially babies to have alcohol. I would have made that clear too.

If you were doing this for me the fridge, freezer & cupboards would be stocked up, I'd get you some wine & chocolates in and leave money for a takeaway! And probably arrange to give you a kidney or something, write to the Queen for a damehood.

Ok maybe not the last two but there'd be plenty in for you all to eat & drink (my catering makes Hogwarts look like its being stingy).

How did you keep control of ALL those kids, alone, sleep deprived because youd been looking after their six month old as well, with presumably no trips to A&E etc. If you answer, the information will be invaluable and youll be well respected in the mumsnet community

@Noclosure
My goodness- That family took massive advantage of you.
Leaving such an assortment of ages would have cost an absolute fortune with a proper Nanny- Not to mention the teething baby.

You were taken utterly for a fool.

Who leaves so many children behind, especially a young baby without paying for professional help?

Outrageous advantage taking.

You couldn't pay me enough to do that kind of favour.

to be honest i would be hurt, hurt that it didn't cross they're mind to make it easier for you and not make it so you had to rush to the shops to get things in and made you spend your money even if they did refund it

I wouldn’t expect wine, money for takeaways or pre-prepared meals - so I think you’re expecting a bit much there.

However I would expect money to be left for food (which they did) and I’d be expecting a decent amount of food in the fridge/freezer and cupboards to last a couple days at least - which they didn’t.

I’m not sure you’ve been mugged off here.
It was bad of them to not ensure you had food for the first day at least.
And they could have made your life so much easier.

But they may have thought you’d want to do the shopping so you can get something you enjoy too.

I would have texted on arrival: where is the food?

I have done weekend babysitting for family.

the fridge is stocked - lots of treats and easy meals for the kids. Lists of helpful
Instructions left. Pet food all lined up. House lovely and clean - guest room made up.

told to order movies if I want - passwords left.

cant believe they left you with no food - how stressful and selfish of them

I'm afraid I'd have to send them an email. Saying for reference if you ask someone to look after your kids and animals you should fill the fridge and the freezer. Leave wine for the adults. Leave enough food for the animals etc etc. Really get it all out.

End by saying hopefully a lesson learnt by everyone. Never ask me for another favour until you've paid this one back with interest.

No I have not said my feelings, just asked for the money to be paid in.

I'm just fucking knackered. No sleep and no break and I'm already back to work now without so much as a weekend takeaway.

I get that this is my fault, maybe I should have been more assertive and I did think it was weird that I hadn't been asked about what shopping would need to be stocked up so we had enough. They aren't inexperienced at catering for children though - they have plenty of them.

It was just proper shit to have a lower standard of weekend than I'd even have at my own house when taking on all that for someone.

If I was at home I would have been able to snack from my fridge and stuff and have wine in the bath but just wasn't provided for adequately. I'm going to stop going on about it now I'm overtired so probably overreacting