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Original poster

If you did this sort of epic favour for someone, what would you expect them to provide

453 replies

Noclosure · 17/05/2022 19:49

I feel I've been proper mugged off this weekend.

As a favour looked after a friend's 4 children and pets for 4 nights 5 days Fri-Tues so the couple could go on holiday.

The children include a teething and weaning 6 month baby who doesn't sleep. The older ones are in different primary school years.

The weekend included getting the kids off to their separate activities such as sports etc, some ferrying journeys and all the usual kid stuff you would expect including administration of medication, cooking, cleaning , laundry etc. Then all school runs on the Monday and Tuesday with the baby in tow.

What as a very minimum would you expect to be provided in the house if you are there to look after them but also have your own children there too? Would you expect to have to provide your own food for yourself and DC that weekend or would you think you'd just all eat together as a family?

I don't think I'm being unreasonable but I'm feeling really hurt and a bit taken advantage of with how things were left and what I had to do and provide/pay for so I'm just canvassing opinions.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 17/05/2022 19:59

Years ago I 'looked after' a very easy going teenager for a weekend; all food was provided including plenty of treats, enough cash to get us both a takeaway plus £50 'thank you'.

DowntonCrabby · 17/05/2022 20:00

I’d expect, at the very least, the offer of reciprocal arrangement so you can have a holiday sans DC!

Original poster
Noclosure · 17/05/2022 20:00

Ok so.

It was very bad. I went to theirs so the kids would be in their home environment. It was agreed ages and ages ago. I didn't THINK I'd need to have the conversation about filling the fridge as thought it would just be obvious.

I work full time. Rushed from work to pick my own DC up on the Friday and then straight round there, they were leaving for airport. They left £50 on the side.

But then I opened the fridge and I wanted to cry. A few little bits, some old salad. NOT ONE meal at all.

I scrabbled around the freezer to do chips and fish fingers for all the kids and just couldn't believe wtf was going on.

Washing machine and tumble dryer still full.

No meals prepped, a plan of what the fuck we might be surviving on for the next few days or enough money left to even get it.

NO WINE. Beer, yes, but NO wine.

I had expected a FULL to the brim fridge, packed freezer but then the cash on the side to be for a takeaway on the first night, it wasn't discused but this is just what I would do in the same situation. I'd just worked 70 hours in a row last week and gone straight there.

I then had to meticulously meal plan to the last fucking letter and go and do an Aldi shop on a Saturday 😫

OP posts:
gamerchick · 17/05/2022 20:01

So what did they leave for you?

WalkerWalking · 17/05/2022 20:02

Just curious- why on earth did you agree to such a ridiculous request in the first place? Like, I'm awful at saying "no", but there's precisely zero chance that I would have signed up for that weekend from hell.

BronwenFrideswide · 17/05/2022 20:03

Are you just venting or are you actually going to speak to the people and address the issue?

HewasH2O · 17/05/2022 20:03

Petrol money. A complete weekly shop in the fridge and cupboards, checking beforehand if there was anything specific that you would like. A clean house and empty laundry basket. Lots of nice stuff for you once the children had gone to bed. Viuchers/ tickets for a day out or similar to say thank you to your family.

JaninaDuszejko · 17/05/2022 20:03

So when are they returning the favour?

MayorDusty · 17/05/2022 20:03

You nutter.
What possessed you to say yes to that?

CMOTDibbler · 17/05/2022 20:03

Four kids inc a non sleeping baby plus pets? I'd have expected a fridge full of shove it in the oven food, your fave snacks, and some wine.
And I'd have cancelled everything apart from school, told you to ignore laundry/cleaning and come back with a huge gift, my undying gratitude, and profuse thanks.

gamerchick · 17/05/2022 20:03

Noclosure · 17/05/2022 20:00

Ok so.

It was very bad. I went to theirs so the kids would be in their home environment. It was agreed ages and ages ago. I didn't THINK I'd need to have the conversation about filling the fridge as thought it would just be obvious.

I work full time. Rushed from work to pick my own DC up on the Friday and then straight round there, they were leaving for airport. They left £50 on the side.

But then I opened the fridge and I wanted to cry. A few little bits, some old salad. NOT ONE meal at all.

I scrabbled around the freezer to do chips and fish fingers for all the kids and just couldn't believe wtf was going on.

Washing machine and tumble dryer still full.

No meals prepped, a plan of what the fuck we might be surviving on for the next few days or enough money left to even get it.

NO WINE. Beer, yes, but NO wine.

I had expected a FULL to the brim fridge, packed freezer but then the cash on the side to be for a takeaway on the first night, it wasn't discused but this is just what I would do in the same situation. I'd just worked 70 hours in a row last week and gone straight there.

I then had to meticulously meal plan to the last fucking letter and go and do an Aldi shop on a Saturday 😫

Right. So you tot it up and tell them what they owe you.

SpindleInTheWind · 17/05/2022 20:03

I'd need a month in the Priory after that.

Isonthecase · 17/05/2022 20:04

You had to do an Aldi shop with that many kids in tow? Which presumably you paid for?!

Unless that was literally a family emergency they had to drop everything for that would never be appropriate! They have massively stuffed you over.

WalkerWalking · 17/05/2022 20:04

Having seen your update, it's even worse than I was imagining. At the very VERY least you absolutely MUST tell them how much they owe you for the food.

Clymene · 17/05/2022 20:05

I would give them the bill, stand there until they'd transferred the money and then never ever speak to them again

thinkfast · 17/05/2022 20:05

I would've expected them to provide enough food for all of you for the entire period. With an email or message from the family a week before saying this is what we are planning to get in for you, is that ok? Do you want any changes. I would've also expected a very nice bottle of wine and some treats and posh choccies left as a thank you.

I'd be absolutely fuming in the scenario you described OP. I'd be expecting a refund of a Waitrose shop (not Aldi) and takeaway treats etc. all washing left in the machine would remain there.

thefirstmrsrochester · 17/05/2022 20:06

Oh OP what cheeky thoughtless individuals they are. And I’m being polite here. Your generosity has truly been taken advantage of.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 17/05/2022 20:06

Why on earth did you agree to do this? And without a very, very clear discussion of how they would need to leave things to make it possible?

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 17/05/2022 20:07

Wow, I cannot believe anyone would agree to take on all of that so their friend could go on holiday. Maybe if they were in hospital, but on holiday! You deserve a sainthood. But failing that everything mentioned on this thread including the kidney.

SpindleInTheWind · 17/05/2022 20:07

How did you go to Aldi with a flock of children to transport? Did they leave car seats? Do you own a bus? What did the baby have in for the first night / morning/

This is so strange.

ShirleyPhallus · 17/05/2022 20:07

So what happened when they got home?

ButtockUp · 17/05/2022 20:07

I think you've learned your lesson here.

They have been spectacular cheeky fuckers and I would leave them a bill for extra food, petrol etc...

Poor you .

Original poster
Noclosure · 17/05/2022 20:08

It was a planned trip. I did think it was a bit weird when by the Thursday I hadn't had a message asking what we might like to eat. They know my kids so just assumed they would have just got what they liked in.

I don't have much money so it was extremely stressful.

I have been reimbursed for the cash spent this afternoon as I left the receipts on the side and let them know when on the way home

OP posts:
Tonkerbea · 17/05/2022 20:08

Awful behaviour from your 'friends', I'd never speak to them again and tell them why. They've set a new Mumsnet bar for cheeky fuckery. And that's saying something.

MsMarch · 17/05/2022 20:09

If you are out of pocket, now is time to send them a note. They have absolutely 100% taken the piss. I assume it's family or a very close friend and that's why you agreed in the first place (on the assumption that no one would do this for just anyone). So you send a message saying, "Hi [dickwads]. Hope you had a good time. I guess things were a bit rushed before you left with washing/cooking/shopping etc so I did some of that and spent £xx on food/entertainment/petrol. can you please send over the cash to my Palpal account this week as obviously I don't' want to be out of pocket after a really crazy weekend."

If it was me, I probably would send the above message but then never see or speak to them again. What complete tossers.

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