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Original poster

If you did this sort of epic favour for someone, what would you expect them to provide

453 replies

Noclosure · 17/05/2022 19:49

I feel I've been proper mugged off this weekend.

As a favour looked after a friend's 4 children and pets for 4 nights 5 days Fri-Tues so the couple could go on holiday.

The children include a teething and weaning 6 month baby who doesn't sleep. The older ones are in different primary school years.

The weekend included getting the kids off to their separate activities such as sports etc, some ferrying journeys and all the usual kid stuff you would expect including administration of medication, cooking, cleaning , laundry etc. Then all school runs on the Monday and Tuesday with the baby in tow.

What as a very minimum would you expect to be provided in the house if you are there to look after them but also have your own children there too? Would you expect to have to provide your own food for yourself and DC that weekend or would you think you'd just all eat together as a family?

I don't think I'm being unreasonable but I'm feeling really hurt and a bit taken advantage of with how things were left and what I had to do and provide/pay for so I'm just canvassing opinions.

OP posts:
2MinuteRice · 17/05/2022 20:23

I did something similar for a friend years and years ago for a week. She had 3 children though and no baby!

She insured me on her car for the week and filled it with petrol. Gave me the shopping money she would usually have spent on the kids as we stayed at my house.

Also kids had wallets with money in and I was given some 'petty cash' can't remember how much now.

It was school holidays so we talked about where I was taking the kids and that was included in the petty cash.

I still wouldn't do it again though! Going from 1 child to 4 was huge, so much more work! I spent hours settling them etc as they missed their mum. Bathtime took forever! Grin

whynotwhatknot · 17/05/2022 20:24

Pisstake but you shold have said no especially as you were running around to make sure their kids went to activities and had to get care for yours for pick up

YetAnotherNameChange111 · 17/05/2022 20:24

ElenaSt · 17/05/2022 20:15

I would have kept the six month baby as hostage until they settled up upon their return.

But surely you'd want them to suffer rather than have even more of a break!

Original poster
Noclosure · 17/05/2022 20:25

Yeah, I don't think they have done this on purpose they aren't arseholes. Hoping just an oversight really.

Maybe it would just be normal for them to have to go to Aldi on a Saturday (FUCK that) but I just hoped that they would try and make things as easy as poss rather than just epically difficult

OP posts:
Ohbother · 17/05/2022 20:26

Wow that is next level taking the piss. I'd be fuming if I were you. I'd have to tell them what i thought about it otherwise I'd be seething for years after.

UserError012345 · 17/05/2022 20:26

I'm sorry but this is on you. You should never have agreed. You sound lovely OP but like you say 'a mug'

Original poster
Noclosure · 17/05/2022 20:26

I think I'm just exhausted so so exhausted so feeling a bit over emotional about it

OP posts:
Crimeismymiddlename · 17/05/2022 20:29

Bare minimum wine, packed fridge and freezer, and also prepared meals and money for petrol and bits and bobs.

spotcheck · 17/05/2022 20:30

Family, or friends?

Augustmummy · 17/05/2022 20:30

A full fridge for everyone, money for incidentals and a little bit more to cover you for the week as a thank you.

I find by a mum and dad being happy to leave a 6 month old with a friend for such a long period a little bit strange in my opinion - unless it was some sort of emergency they needed to attend to. I would never in my wildest dreams would agree to this without some sort of pay for it or gift and food and expenses.

Augustmummy · 17/05/2022 20:31

Also the house should be clean, tidy and welcoming for you

PuppyMonkey · 17/05/2022 20:31

I think they ARE arseholes tbf.

Original poster
Noclosure · 17/05/2022 20:31

Does it make a difference if it family or friends?
Not a relation but close

OP posts:
TolkiensFallow · 17/05/2022 20:32

It was a really nice thing for you to do. They were totally inconsiderate. Obviously don’t do it again.

Nowomenaroundeh · 17/05/2022 20:32

UserError012345 · 17/05/2022 20:26

I'm sorry but this is on you. You should never have agreed. You sound lovely OP but like you say 'a mug'

I'm sorry but you're a dickhead.

FlibbertyGiblets · 17/05/2022 20:33

You did a really lovely and kind thing, hang on to that (gentle arm squeeze)

Mosaic123 · 17/05/2022 20:33

You are an angel.

Feel free to ask them to do you multiple favours for the next decade. They owe you!

LetitiaLeghorn · 17/05/2022 20:34

I think that's very poor. My sister stays in people's homes to pet sit whilst they're away. She gets paid. She always provides her own food, but all the families leave her food in the fridge freezer, wine, chocolate. And she's paid!

But if they're not usually arseholes as you say, it's probably an oversight in their pre holiday scramble, and they'll be probably full of apologies when they get back and will hopefully put it right. Think like that positively. No point getting angry - it'll just drain you - until you know whether it's an oversight ir deliberate. THEN get angry.

Nowomenaroundeh · 17/05/2022 20:35

OP I am genuinely aghast at this. I really and truly think you should say something along the lines of "you know I offered to help as I wanted you to have a nice holiday but I really think you made it unnecessarily difficult for me. I should not have had to get the food in, juggle my finances while watching all the children. I really feel taken for granted."

Livpool · 17/05/2022 20:36

Sorry OP but they sound really inconsiderate.

If it were me - as a minimum - I would leave a fully stocked fridge and freezer, wine (or whatever you drank), money for ice creams when out etc and money for a takeaway

HTH1 · 17/05/2022 20:36

I agree with the PP who said an all expenses paid 5* trip to the Maldives. No f’ing way I would ever agree to do this in reality unless their parents had died and left me all of their money.

MissPeregrinesHome · 17/05/2022 20:36

I'm not surprised you feel upset. That's really thoughtless shitty behaviour. They should have thought about how to make it as easy as possible for you. They don't deserve your friendship. I don't like all this telling you off for being a "mug". You're a kind person and people should respect that and ensure that you didn't have to struggle. I hope you feel better soon.

daisychain01 · 17/05/2022 20:39

Anyone willing to bugger off on a holiday and offloading such a massive amount of responsibility onto your shoulders, without a care in the world, wouldn't be a friend of mind, I just couldn't respect them for that.

Ducksurprise · 17/05/2022 20:39

Noclosure · 17/05/2022 20:26

I think I'm just exhausted so so exhausted so feeling a bit over emotional about it

Not at all, you are emotional because good friends turned out to be CF.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 17/05/2022 20:40

I have a family member who comes to look matter my child every year so dh and l can have a little break. We full the fridge up, leave her cash for shopping and a takeaway and book her into the salon for a treatment of her choice on us .
We are so grateful to her it is the very least we can do.