If you did this sort of epic favour for someone, what would you expect them to provide

[Noclosure]

I feel I've been proper mugged off this weekend.

As a favour looked after a friend's 4 children and pets for 4 nights 5 days Fri-Tues so the couple could go on holiday.

The children include a teething and weaning 6 month baby who doesn't sleep. The older ones are in different primary school years.

The weekend included getting the kids off to their separate activities such as sports etc, some ferrying journeys and all the usual kid stuff you would expect including administration of medication, cooking, cleaning , laundry etc. Then all school runs on the Monday and Tuesday with the baby in tow.

What as a very minimum would you expect to be provided in the house if you are there to look after them but also have your own children there too? Would you expect to have to provide your own food for yourself and DC that weekend or would you think you'd just all eat together as a family?

I don't think I'm being unreasonable but I'm feeling really hurt and a bit taken advantage of with how things were left and what I had to do and provide/pay for so I'm just canvassing opinions.

They should be ashamed of themselves, you did such a lovely thing for them.

No wonder you feel emotional.

I'd send a breezy text asking for some dates that they can look after yours .........

You really aren’t over reacting

I’d be livid at that - it’s beyond rude!

You just don’t do that. When my BIL stated to mind 2 of my lot when DD was offered a last minute hospital appointment while DH was away I had a shop delivered full of easy meals that I knew the kids would eat and nice stuff I knew he would. You just don’t leave someone in the lurch like that.

Bloody hell you deserve a medal!! You did such a lovely thing for them and they really are selfish arseholes for not stocking the fridge.

Yes I'm sure that's it, they were merely being considerate and letting OP do her own shopping so she could ensure she had her favourite foods. What a treat doing that shop on a Saturday with 4+ children and a baby in tow.

“ The road to Hell is paved with good intentions”

I would be pulling them and saying you loved having the children but you were not expecting to cover the food and it was an expensive week for you.

They have been really rotten to you.

I'd expect you to nominated me for Sainthood, name any future children after me and buy me a present.

You have been massively taken advantage of.

It's so odd that some people can't even get their friends to meet them for coffee without cancelling 3 times, and other people can get a free babysitter for 4 kids for 4 nights!

We had my DB’s three kids for a long weekend. We collected them, did school runs, had to return to their house as they had virtually no clothes with them, did everything for them (obviously), and returned them home with clean school uniforms for the week.

During that time DB and SIL didn’t get in contact once. They barely said thanks and bought some cheese as a gift ( DH likes cheese).

Ive never offered again even though I love them all. I was just so pissed off.

Yanbu. At all.

You aren't over reacting and it's not your fault. They are shit and they owe you the world's biggest apology. I hope someone does something really lovely for you soon, you bloody well deserve it

I wouldn't dream of dumping my children - especially a 6 month okd - to go on holiday without them

They are a family
Not a couple

They have treated you appalling and let their kids down

They want to be embarrassed

Weekends are precious especially when you work hard like you do, it’s bound to feel upsetting at the moment. Did they at least seem eternally grateful?

That's so inconsiderate and thoughtless. You did a really nice thing - and they don't deserve you.
I've minded my nieces for two weeks while their parents went to Oz foe a wedding and they took us on hols afterwards to say thank you

I think it’s just so cheeky. They hadn’t thought of you (or their kids re food) at all. I don’t think they would have reimbursed you if you hadn’t left the receipts. I also think the fact they didn’t even have a gift for you from duty free on their return but have indicated a Thankyou gift is coming is an after thought. They have completely taken advantage and almost made a fool out of you. As many have said - who leaves for even a day without leaving provisions for your family let alone arranging someone to live in your house and have nothing. I do think they expected you to just suck it up. I hope you get some rest this weekend.

If any of my FAMILY looked after my DC for 1 night let alone 5 (WTF!) I have a fully stocked fridge, drinks, money etc. because that is showing respect and gratitude for what they’re doing for me.

You are a very nice person indeed and they have behaved terribly.

Yes they are definitely eternally grateful. Very much so

At the very minimum a well enough stocked fridge/freezer/cupboards. I agreed to have my friend’s son come and stay with us for a couple of weeks (he was good friends with my son) and without me even asking she texted me saying she’d done a Tesco shop and it would be delivered to me the day he arrived. I do agree though that you should have discussed things first but very out of order of your friend.

This is the part that I’d cling to, they were rash in the way they left and it seems a bit demob happy but instead of seeing yourself as a mug I think you’ve been an angel! I wouldn’t do it again though if I were you at least not for a 100 years 😂

How did they even expect you go shopping with all those kids in tow including a baby?! This is very bad and if I ever got anyone to do this for me I would definitely provide a very full fridge, money, your choice of drinks, baby milk and lots of chocolate (or whatever you preferred).

I once drove 30 miles in to central london to be in for an important delivery for a friend. I was hoping to have some drinks and food in the fridge as I had to stay for hours. All I had in that time was a few glasses of water as she didn’t even have milk in for a cup of tea! I was starving and pretty pissed off as she barely even thanked me and certainly didn’t offer anything for petrol. At this time I was a student and she was a solicitor earning £100k plus. Not really friends anymore 😂

Wow. If someone did that for me I would certainly be asking them in advance what they wanted in terms of food, give them free reign in terms of the contents of the fridge and freezer, and would probably leave them a crate of wine or something as well.

You must have saved them an absolute fortune. Adequate food is the least they could do.

OP,
you deserve a big gold medal. Only you know if they are taking the piss ,or just don't have the forward thinking needed in that situation.

The upside is you've got enough good karma jujus stored up to last you a lifetime!
No harm done, you didn't lose and kids or pets and you will be excellent at saying NO to anything now.

How about petrol?