What is an instant turn off to you?

[Rnm62]

What’s an instant turn off for you in a man/woman?

Bodybuilding

Beards. I just think 'wanker'.

Don't mind teeth though 😂

Also anyone who slags someone/something off during first encounter. It indicates issues and I cba. There's lots of things you can talk about first time you meet someone. Choose one of those.

When I met dh he was living on his mums sofa having dropped out of university a term from graduating and was very depressed and a bit lost really. He couldn’t drive either. I was 8 years older than him and a divorced mum of one. There are lots of things that put me off people physically in terms of attraction but someone’s living situation or their ability to drive or not wouldn’t put me off. We’ve been happily married 15 years now…!

Looks wise I love a shaggy haired, skinny, bearded man. Which is good because so many people don’t…! Ha! It’s a good job we’re all different.

I think your son gets let off for that x

And, I bet his life experiences have given him some kindness and understanding towards others, so he gets extra points for that too.

Bad teeth/Smokers/Drug takers/Heavy drinkers/tattoos/men who drone on about themselves/dirty clothes/men who refer to their mum as 'ma' or 'mother'/men who drive souped up cars/unnecessary swearing/etc

I am very picky (or would be if Mr Chen wasn't on the scene)

Bad teeth
Grubby
Poor hygiene
Misogyny
Childish

Someone who isn’t a good conversationalist. For example, someone who talks far far more than the person they’re with, so it seems like they’re just monologuing at you. Or somebody who can’t read the room and tell when their company is bored, or uncomfortable with the conversation. Not just in dating, but that’s my ‘turn off’ for potential friends. A lot of people I know would be better getting a tape recorder, since then they could just talk at length without any conversational input.

Petulance, sulking, childishness. That's the biggest one. Makes my knees snap shut.

After that - it's that kind of expansive, blithely-arrogant taking up of too much space that so many men do. As though it genuinely doesn't occur to them that a) they aren't the most fascinating person in the room, and b) somebody else might also want to say something.

Also manky teeth. Not crooked, I don't care about that, but poor dental hygiene.

Facial hair, bad teeth, poor personal hygiene, spitting, raucousness, smoking, spoiled child syndrome. And that's just women!

Officiousness.
Thick neck.
Jewelry.

In that situation I don't think this will be a deal breaker...

Not liking animals/dogs
gossips
Skinny jeans 🤢

I'm not crazy about tattoos either, unless they're discreet and at least reasonably tasteful.

Also someone who is shouty or aggressive in any way - even shouting at a favourite sports team etc. I don’t like shouty people, but plenty on mumsnet seem to find it totally acceptable for a man to scream and swear at the TV as long as people are running around on screen, so I accept it’s just me! For me it’s indicative of a certain personality I really dislike.

Men who have a disproportionate idea of the kind of female partner they want, especially older men, I encountered this some years back, prior to my last relationship, when I was using 'online dating'....so many men in their fifties and more were stipulating that they wanted a lady between 25-35 (or thereabouts) who 'took care of themselves' (or words to that effect) when all they had to offer in return was a beer belly and a 'comb-over'...I never knew whether to laugh or cry 🤣

But he still wouldn’t suit someone who lives in a rural area as he wouldn’t be able to easily visit them. He has a partner who he suits and who suits him. So really nothing to be ‘saddened’ about.

Maybe some people have facial hair because they have a horrible skin condition that causes them a lot of pain if they shave. Still doesn’t mean you can’t discount them if you dislike facial hair. They’ll find someone (like me!) who does like facial hair.

Thin
Can't drive
Posh accent
Guitar playing

Tell me you hate James Blunt without telling me you hate James Blunt.

bad manners, poor personal hygiene, swearing as every other word, not exercising (professional athlete here, can't bear slobs).

Gel in hair/ any over grooming
Bad breath
Needy
Short
Football

shoes - to be precise inappropriate shoes like wearing your black leather work shoes with jeans on a walk round a country park (didn't make it past the 1st date!)

Also

Golf
Pink clothes
Gym body
Can't cook

Man-bun
Neck tattoos
Can't cook

Oh and I hate men in pointy shoes!

Looking scruffy and unclean, longish/wild beards, bad hygiene, long hair, lives with parents, no job or works part time, long nails, never asking questions.