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Fiancé has called off our wedding in 8 weeks time and has now given our venue and date to his daughter and partner 😭

157 replies

Kimbers2022 · 31/03/2022 07:41

My ex fiancé and I were together for 6 years, and were due to get married in may. The wedding has now been called off due to his continued reluctance to commit to me (we live separately due to his reluctance to sell/rent his house and move in with me and my 4 children and will not merge finances etc) His reason behind this is so we could of kept it for a holiday home/ retreat. I had my dress, the venue, the flowers, everything all booked but he was continually reluctant to buy his suit, arrange the notice of marriage etc and kept making excuses like il do it next week. it feels like he wanted a wedding but not a marriage? Or was he planning on cancelling it and lying to me along about what he wanted from me ie a causal relationship?

I have been trying to keep busy being a mum to my kids, focus on work and healing my broken heart over the last 3 weeks until yesterday when he sent me an email saying he has now arranged it for his daughter and parter to use our wedding date, venue, flowers the lot!! I feel devastated and humiliated! I can’t stop crying, I feel hurt and betrayed, lied to and used and unable to understand beyond belief how he can do this to me. His last sentence in his emails reads “at least something good will come out of all this” I can’t bear the the thought of him using what would of been my wedding day to now celebrate this with his daughter and family . I’m hurting behind repair.

OP posts:
ChickenSkinny · 31/03/2022 07:45

What an arsehole. I’m so sorry.

Is he expecting you to stay in the relationship? I don’t understand how he can thinks that’s possible after what he’s done.

alwayswrighty · 31/03/2022 07:46

Crass bastard. I'd be furious.

fionaapple · 31/03/2022 07:46

What a horrid waste of space. You're well rid darling🌸

Interested in this thread?

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NdefH81 · 31/03/2022 07:48

Why did you want to marry him when in 6 years he’d never committed to you - not wanting to even move in

Newjobformoremoney · 31/03/2022 07:49

Wow @NdefH81 that’s pretty insensitive!

Is he thinking this might help as you’ll get the deposit back for the venue etc?

grapewines · 31/03/2022 07:50

He never wanted to be married to you. It hurts now, but it seems he was future faking. Focus on your children. He's not worth it.

duvetdayforeveryone · 31/03/2022 07:50

Who paid for the venue and flowers?

astoundedgoat · 31/03/2022 07:50

That’s one of the worst things I’ve read on here. He doesn’t think you are still together any more, does he? YOU don’t think that either, right?

FromOurHatsToOurFeet · 31/03/2022 07:51

How does that work with the registrar? Did you pay for everything? Can you just cancel it and get your deposit back?

NdefH81 · 31/03/2022 07:53

@Newjobformoremoney

It’s frustrating a mother of 4 children was prepared to, even desperate to, bring a man permanently in to their home and lives - who clearly has never shown any real sign of actually wanting to

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 31/03/2022 07:54

I hope he's an ex and not just an ex fiance. He doesn't see his future with you and never has, he's just faked it to keep you in line. What a bastard. I'm so sorry you're going through this, I can totally understand why you feel heartbroken.

DuchessofAnkh22 · 31/03/2022 07:54

Who is paying for it?

middleager · 31/03/2022 07:55

What a wanker.

HollowTalk · 31/03/2022 07:56

So this means you have no debt regarding the wedding? To be honest although it's very very tactless I think if it means you come out of it without owing anything then he's done your favour.

Hate to say it but I can see why he was reluctant to move in with four other children.

TeachesOfPeaches · 31/03/2022 07:57

He sent you an EMAIL Shock

HomeHomeInTheRange · 31/03/2022 08:07

Shame on him for allowing your own wedding plans to progress so far.

But I think it’s reasonable not to want to enter into a marriage when both parties have children at home etc. I won’t be joining my assets and finances with anyone with more children than me.

Maybe he felt it was the best way to not lose the deposit costs etc? I very much hope he is repaying you anything you paid for !!

Seraphinesupport · 31/03/2022 08:08

block him and move on with your life, find someone who wants to marry you and gets excited at the thought of being your husband.

He is not the guy for you as much as it hurts now.

dfendyr · 31/03/2022 08:11

How will he do that when it will all have been booked by you?

Say its fine, but will cost double, or say no

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 31/03/2022 08:12

I know it doesn't feel this way now, but in a year you'll look back on this and be so incredibly relieved that toy didn't marry this man Thanks

Onlyhonest · 31/03/2022 08:13

That is shocking. So sorry.

comfortablyfrumpy · 31/03/2022 08:19

I think you have had a lucky escape.

I am so sorry, he sounds a complete arsehole.

DebtheSander · 31/03/2022 08:20

He’s a Grade A Wanker!

He refused to commit to you but kept you dangling with hollow promises. I also feel a bit sorry for his dd. Her wedding day will be tainted by his behaviour.

Please make sure that you are not paying for any of this wedding. Deposit for venue, flowers etc etc.

saraclara · 31/03/2022 08:21

@DuchessofAnkh22

Who is paying for it?
I'm wondering the same.
EnjoyingTheSilence · 31/03/2022 08:21

Who booked and paid for the flowers, venue etc. If you, cancel and get your money back.

Plan to do something in the actual day.

So sorry this has happened to you

ChaToilLeam · 31/03/2022 08:26

I hope that any money you put into this is returned to you. But if the relationship isn’t yet over, then end it. He’s kept you dangling - be done with him, it won’t get better.