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Original poster

You're a shit housewife!!

226 replies

runforyourdog · 25/03/2022 01:39

Just had a massive row with H. I know it's unforgivable but I completely lost my temper and slapped him.

He said 'you are a shit housewife' err well maybe that's because I'm not a housewife and work full time!! He think he does loads around the house which he does like he does the washing for e.g. but I do vast majority of kid ferrying / mental load.

I know I'm unreasonable but can anyone see why I got angry!?

OP posts:
Lacedwithgrace · 25/03/2022 01:41

I hope he has the support and resources to get help.

Original poster
runforyourdog · 25/03/2022 01:44

He's a 6'3'' 16 stone white man with a £180k income. I'm sure he will survive!

OP posts:
PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 25/03/2022 01:45

Whatever the provocation,it's utterly unacceptable to hit him.

It's domestic violence.

You both need help- separately.

WildIing · 25/03/2022 01:46

@runforyourdog

He's a 6'3'' 16 stone white man with a £180k income. I'm sure he will survive!
Oh he definitely deserved it so.

Like, there’s no way you would have slapped him if he was 12st, or 5’ 9”, or on minimum wage.

Original poster
runforyourdog · 25/03/2022 01:46

Just caMe out of nowhere I know really bad.

OP posts:
PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 25/03/2022 01:47

All those women who post saying they've been grabbed/pushed etc and they're not physically hurt....What's the difference between that and what you've done?

It's despicable.

ouch321 · 25/03/2022 01:59

Not sure this is a genuine thread...

Original poster
runforyourdog · 25/03/2022 02:05

It's genuine. Looks like I'm genuinely being an arsehole.

Hopefully we can make it go.

OP posts:
MarianosOnHisWay · 25/03/2022 02:12

@runforyourdog

He's a 6'3'' 16 stone white man with a £180k income. I'm sure he will survive!
Wow Confused
LaraDeSalle · 25/03/2022 02:22

What has his income fit to do with how he copes with having a fish wife giving him a sap?

You were having a heated discussion and he gave you his opinion on how he thinks you don’t pull your weight.

You have every right to disagree with him but chose to slap him instead.

I imagine he is now adding temper tantrum to your list of faults.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 25/03/2022 02:28

How bloody dare he Id have kicked him up the arse as well.

SeasonFinale · 25/03/2022 02:37

It is still domestic violence whatever his size and whatever his salary.

Thoosa · 25/03/2022 02:40

Sounds pretty toxic on both sides. He’s being verbally abusive to you and you’ve been violent to him. Is there a big back story?

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 25/03/2022 02:43

He should leave you before you kill him and his children, because this WILL escalate.

Goldbar · 25/03/2022 02:49

You were both in the wrong but physical abuse is much worse than verbal abuse. I'm not sure where you go from here - he doesn't respect you or see you as an equal, hence the 'housewife' comments, and you reacted to your justified anger with violence against him which, regardless of what he said, is completely unacceptable. People don't 'make' other people hit them... the victim of the violence never 'deserves it' and is never to blame for it. 'He/she made me do it' is the refuge of abusers.

Tinitiny · 25/03/2022 03:01

@runforyourdog

He's a 6'3'' 16 stone white man with a £180k income. I'm sure he will survive!
And his weight and income is relevant to the fact you assaulted him how exactly?

Do you really think you are ‘just being an arsehole’? Wow.

Flickflak · 25/03/2022 03:03

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Newestname002 · 25/03/2022 03:04

I'm also unsure how the colour of his skin is relevant in this situation? 🌹

Movingonup22 · 25/03/2022 03:28

The comments Hmm

Obviously it is out of line that you slapped him. Very out of line. But if he’s a big bloke the reality is that he would not have felt as threatened as if it was a big bloke hitting a woman and some posters appear not able to acknowledge that….

It does not justify you slapping him - but his attitude is way off!

user123654 · 25/03/2022 04:16

I had the same row this evening with DH.... I didn't slap him though. I do think you should really think about your actions and seek help.

Also if he earns 180k do you have a cleaner/ housekeeper? That would take a lot of the pressure off you.

DH here vacuums, May unstuck dishwasher from time to time and takes out the bins. Both work full time, 2 DC under 3. Our row was because I have to ask for every little thing to be done.. 'please carry this upstairs' 'please take out bins' 'please lift you shoes' 'please put your dirty clothes in the wash'... basically I've got a teenager with good hygiene!

RustyShackleford3 · 25/03/2022 05:18

Oh dear.

There's no coming back from that. I think this is the end of your marriage. If it isn't then I feel extremely sorry for your DH. I've been in a relationship where he turned violent and it was a really dark time in my life.

Turningpurple · 25/03/2022 05:27

Ffs I earn similar to your husband. I was actually taller than my exh. Would it be OK if he had slapped me?

My dp is 6ft 4in. Is it OK if he slaps me, but not hard enough to leave lasting damage. No bruising?

Sounds like it was an argument where you both say stupid things to each other. It wasn't a disagreement where you remained perfectly calm, he said you are a shit housewife and you slapped him, did it?

Notice you only mention the comment that you feel (regardless of what you say about no excuses) justifys you slapping him. Like you think it's not that bad because he is tall and earns a big wage.

Its even what you lead with in your title. You expect to come here and have everyone tell you how awful he is.

Maybe he is also awful, it's still not an excuse. If you think is comment is as bad as DV, then you really do need to separate.

Turningpurple · 25/03/2022 05:30

@Movingonup22

The comments Hmm

Obviously it is out of line that you slapped him. Very out of line. But if he’s a big bloke the reality is that he would not have felt as threatened as if it was a big bloke hitting a woman and some posters appear not able to acknowledge that….

It does not justify you slapping him - but his attitude is way off!

Ah domestic violence is only domestic violence if the victim feels a certain amount of fear? How do you measure that scale?

He couldn't be concerned this will escalate. Next time she hits him with something throwns something at it? That fear, definitely, isn't (in your opinion) a big deal.

No one should be putting their hands on anyone, full stop. It's not ok, if the other person doesn't feel a certain level of fear.

NightshiftNancy · 25/03/2022 05:38

Apologise. Profusely.
Outsource the cleaning.

Saltyquiche · 25/03/2022 05:40

You’ll need to apologise to him, physical violence is never ok. If this is an abusive relationship it would be best to split up. Yes you’re upset with the ‘shit housewife’ comment. Normally I’d suggest going away for a few days and leaving the kids with him so that he can gain an understanding of how much needs to be done in the house.