@EvilGoldfish
Isn’t this a bit like the ‘breed not deed’ argument?
A man attacking a woman is a bit like a pitbull attacking a chihuahua and vice versa.
Neither one is acceptable or pleasant, but only one way is going to result in a death.
Op should never have slapped her husband, it’s abusive.
BUT to pretend (the comment about him now worrying ok would escalate and would kill him and the children is particularly galling given the facts of who is far more likely to do that) that it’s even in the same ball park as the male partner violence against women that results in around two deaths a week every year in the UK seems off to me.
You aren't wrong about the pitbull vs chihuahuas.
But my daughter is a lesbian. Are you seriously suggesting if her partner slapped her, she can't be worried it will escalate. I can't be worried about that be abuse the perpetrator is a woman so it's less likey to happen?
It being less likely to happen doesn't mean the fear is less when you are the one in the situation.
Yes, woman are more likey to ne kill by a man. But that doesn't mean DV should be shrugged off or that people should completely ignore the real fact that DV usually escalates.
Yes, hitting your partner is wrong. I was also told during therapy that it is not uncommon for emotionally abused to sometimes lash out when they are pushed to the brink, and then have that lorded over them so that the abuser can play the victim and keep them under control.
Very few people in this situations, response is 'well he is white and rich so it's fine'
Op has come and given only what he said for support in slapping her partner. That's not the usual behaviour for someone feeling like they were pushed to brink.
Jumping to 'yeah but I bet its still his fault' isn't helping. Many men, who commit DV, claim they were pushed to the bring and antagonised into it. But we don't give then sympathy
Op hasn't hinted she did this in self defence at all. Quite the opposite infact. She is already got her excuses lined up.