You're a shit housewife!!

[runforyourdog]

Just had a massive row with H. I know it's unforgivable but I completely lost my temper and slapped him.

He said 'you are a shit housewife' err well maybe that's because I'm not a housewife and work full time!! He think he does loads around the house which he does like he does the washing for e.g. but I do vast majority of kid ferrying / mental load.

I know I'm unreasonable but can anyone see why I got angry!?

@runforyourdog

He's a 6'3'' 16 stone white man with a £180k income. I'm sure he will survive!

Fucking hell. You go from 'I feel so bad' to 'he will be fine' in just two posts. You crossed a line there is no coming back from. Shame on you.

Ok just read through the posts, he can buy in cleaner, cook, gardener.

Can’t believe that only one person questioned what skin colour has to do with it...

So a white man is fine to slap but any other colour not?

@Workinghardeveryday

Can’t believe that only one person questioned what skin colour has to do with it...

So a white man is fine to slap but any other colour not?

To be fair I missed the white bit.

I assume, from ops pov Domestic violence isn't a crime if the victim has white, male, rich privilege.

Or maybe actively deserves it because of those privileges.

@runforyourdog

He's a 6'3'' 16 stone white man with a £180k income. I'm sure he will survive!

Wow did you really say that? It’s ok to slap him because he’s tall, white and earns a lot! Imagine a man saying this! You sound like an arsehole.

I think you’re incompatible.
For your dc’s sake you need to move on.
If you both work full time then you should be a team.
If you can’t be a team then it won’t work.

I mean you should be a team anyway.
But nobody is a housewife and neither should anyone, however obnoxious, be hit.

What he said was terrible and I would have been furious.

But what you did was worse.

Violence towards your partner is never ok, no matter what the provocation.

Imagine if this 6'3 man slapped you back. Cant stand women who think they have the right to hit men because they're protected by "being a woman."

Good for him for his restraint.

@runforyourdog

He's a 6'3'' 16 stone white man with a £180k income. I'm sure he will survive!

What does this even mean?

I think what you did was wrong, what he said was wrong.

Apologise and see if you can work things out.

So it's acceptable for you to smack him in the face, but it's not okay for him to say unpleasant things in an argument?

I know who comes off worse and it's not him

You escalated things and you've crossed a line that can't now be uncrossed. This is a violent relationship.

If a woman came on here and said she'd told her partner he was shit around the house in a row and that he'd slapped her, the thread would be full of people saying to call the police and leave the bastard.

It's no different just because you're female.

If my husband slapped me just once, that would be the end of the relationship.

I think he's the one who should be peed off. I wouldn't dream of laying a finger on my DH.

They'd be no going back for us if either hit one another.

I don't understand why you wouldn't just respond with "I'm not a housewife..."

I don't understand why you hit him or, more importantly, why you think that's ok.

OP - have you ever hit anyone before ? If not, what was it about this time that was different ?

I wouid have slapped him too .. what a cheek! 🤣🤣

Get a cleaner. That income you can afford two!!!

I was always taught that a woman should never slip / hit / punch a decent man because they can't defend themselves. A friend used to get hit by his ex when they argued and he had no where to go. He was too embarrassed to say anything and had too much honour to defend himself. If you resort to physical violence when you get upset or angry you need to see a doctor. If this was the first time then make sure its the last.
Anyway, you aren't a housewife, you are working adult member of the family. You can't be crap at something you're not. Tell him he is a crap househusband and that he needs to organise a cleaner.
DH and I both work full time and I don't even know how to hoover. If he called me a crap housewife I would laugh because I'm not one.
Does he have a general misogynistic streak? I'm wondering if you lashed out because of constant gaslighting.

A bicker about housework ended in you being physical to your dh. That's what needs addressing.

A male friend of ours who was a domestic violence victim, told us that the worst part of it all was that she knew he couldn't retaliate and that he was often scared to block her blows or protect himself in case he hurt her (he was a big man). He felt totally vulnerable.

If the roles were reversed here and you came on here to say you argued with your dh because he's messy and he slapped you! You'd have everyone urging you to leave. You need to think about that

My point was just that he's not some trapped, battered husband that's all, when some said 'I hope he has the support'.

Hopefully we can work through things. I apologised profusely immediately btw. I don't know what came over me I was just so cross.

It's irrelevant whether you think he's "battered" or not.

Anyone who is hit by their partner should have access to support. You smacked him in the face - even if you didn't physically hurt him, he must have felt exceptionally humiliated and for many people that's worse than the physical pain.

If you were a man posting here you'd be hearing a lot worse. At the very minimum you need help for your temper.

I’ve had the red mist descend before now, you’ve just got to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Learn to walk away.

Threads like these make me glad I'm single. What a lovely environment for your kids. He sounds misogynistic, you resorted to violence. Nice.

You shouldn't be smacking him at all should you? Regardless of his colour, height, weight of earning potential.

As others have said, on this income you could be outsourcing as much as possible. Cleaning, gardening, laundry, you can buy in top quality ready meals etc.