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What’s the closest escape you’ve ever had from a dangerous situation?

283 replies

Bluepantsbigheart · 20/03/2022 08:43

I had a moment of absolute clarity and shock earlier. I was visiting a childhood friend so back on the street where I grew up. We were chatting about the past, about how we used to roam and our parents didn’t know where we were etc. This would have been the early 80’s and I’d have been 10/12 years old.

I remembered going with another friend ‘Halloweening’ as we called it then - to maximise our returns we’d visit a house each, alternating along the street.
I went to one house, rang the bell and through the glass side panel saw the owner come down the stairs. ‘Happy Halloween’ I said - ah, come in a minute he said, I need to get money’ I followed him into his lounge where he was scrabbling about in drawers by the sound of it in the kitchen. He was a while and when he came back into the room he had his trousers open with his penis out. I backed away and said I have to go, my friend is outside. I quickly walked to the front door, he gave me 10p and I left.

I think the whole situation finally sunk in and for the first time I realised how much danger I was in. All the things you tell your kids not to do I did it. My blood ran cold actually but I remember at the time although being a bit surprised by it I never told anyone except my friend and it didn’t seem a big deal. My mother was the type that if I told her I’d have had the row for going into the house and no doubt I’d have been stopped from going out.

Anyone else look back on something and realise you had a lucky escape?

OP posts:
Downunderduchess · 22/03/2022 22:23

I was 20 years old, been for after work drinks on a Friday night, so I was a bit drunk. Waiting in a queue for a taxi. A man in a car pulls up & asks me if I want a lift & where I am going, I say the suburb & he says that’s where he is going. I don’t know why but I turned to the the person (woman) next to me in the queue & said should I go? She looked horrified and quite rightly said no. So I didn’t. All these years later and it still frightens me what could have happened.

I was young & on my own, been drinking. I’m quite sensible & vigilant now.

Many, many other instances as well, all involving men preying on women.

Nefelibata86 · 22/03/2022 22:37

@Crazzzycat I had a very similar experience to you, though I was possibly a little older and the car was full of men. The only reason I didn’t get in was because I was running late to meet my friend. I dread to think what a car load of men would have wanted from having such a young girl in the car directing them. There is something in this about people pleasing and not challenging elders that I hope is fading out or being challenged in some way.

Gonnagetgoing · 22/03/2022 23:40

Oh actually, there is one. This was years ago. I was staying at DP’s house minding it whilst they were at their Holliday home. I could’ve gone back to my flat share but they’d asked me to feed their cats (DP’s had asked). So I got on the train after a Friday night out at work, and for some reason rather than stop at my station I got a really strong voice in my head telling me to go to the next station and get a mini cab from there. So I did that, it was a slight pain as everyone wanted cabs so I had to wait 15 mins or so. Usually I’d walk the back way through streets from station which straddled an estate. Didn’t realise it then but a gang of youths were riding bikes and mugging locals but I didn’t hear much about it. Next day when I woke up I heard through a friend texting me (to see if I was ok) that a teenage boy who’d been walking through the estate had been stabbed the night before (Friday) by one of the local gang on bikes, not fatally luckily, at about the same time I was on my train!

I couldn’t believe it, told my friend and she said it was your gut instinct telling you to go to the next station and get a cab home.

Gonnagetgoing · 22/03/2022 23:44

Oh god another one. I was 15 and not very streetwise. I was walking up to shops/pub when a man in a car stopped me for a chat. I chatted then he asked where was I off to so he said I’ll give you a lift if you like. But he drove a different way abc then started wanking himself and wanted me to do it to him. He locked the car door. He was also being a bit scary saying I owed him for the lift. I had to think quickly so said let’s drive here, which was near a school friend’s house, I then managed to unlock the car door and jumped out and to my friend’s house.

MistySkiesAfterRain · 22/03/2022 23:45

I made some friends in city in Africa (not naming the country) and I thought they were taking us to a gig.

We drove around in the car and eventually got arrested as they were smoking a joint.

The whole thing was a set up and we were meant to pay a bribe to the Police. We complained so much they eventually let us go with a small bribe.

MistySkiesAfterRain · 22/03/2022 23:49

@iklboo

I've never understood why women choose taxis as a safe way of getting home at night.

Public transport sucks around where I live - and still require between 30-60 minute walk from the drop off spot to home. As PP have said, they've had really bad experiences on or waiting for public transport too. The later buses are not always busy.

Really? Is it not hailing a random cab that you mean? I get licensed cabs from ranks.
Yaya26 · 23/03/2022 00:17

I’ve had so many lucky escapes in my lifetime from you - you guessed it - men.

Between that and reading this I never want to let my daughter out of house. Feel sick at the thought of her being in some of the situations I’ve been in.

Deathraystare · 23/03/2022 10:18

@gingerhills

I was listening to Radio 4 once when a woman mentioned she had phoned Ladycabs and a man pulled up.! He had obviously been listening on the radio and heard the call (I mean the taxi radio not radio 4). Obvs she didn't get in but imagine if she was really drunk and thinking ok they employ men now,

WinterDeWinter · 23/03/2022 12:45

I've not read every single one, but there isn't a single woman-related incident here as far as I can see.

I know lots of you are fed up with feminists going on and on about this, and almost all of us have been socialised to 'be kind' and to unconsciously put male feelings first - but please think about the impact of self-ID on our ability to say that it is men who rape, brutalise and murder women. Not women - only men.

Dumdeedahdumdeedo · 23/03/2022 14:01

When I was around 14 me and my friends ended up meeting up with one of their boyfriends and his friends in the middle of town

We all went back to one of the lads houses and I ended up in the back garden with a lad i was getting along with. Everyone else went to the park and we stayed in the garden smoking

I sat on a deckchair and he started trying to kiss me, he ended up on top of me and I was struggling to get him.off me when his friend popped his head over the garden fence and asked us if we were going to the park too

I honestly think he was going to rape me and whenever I think back to this event I'm always grateful for his friend coming back

kissmelittleass · 23/03/2022 14:30

Another one.. I was 15 came out of my cousins house which was on a busy road in London and there was a guy walking in front of me aged about 20 at the time, he slowed down so I overtook him.
I don't know why but I sensed from him slowing down that he was going to follow me so every now and then I looked back and he was still there, I approached a corner and ran quickly round it to cross the road. As I was stood waiting for the traffic to stop so I could cross he ran round the corner and stood behind me, I crossed the road and decided to dart through the housing estate in front of me as my aunt lived in a house on the end and I knew she might be home as it was the summer holidays mid afternoon so I ran looking behind me to which he was running after me with a crazed look on his face.
I got to my aunts door banging frantically and calling through the letter box thank god she was home as she opened the door he stopped out of breath at the end of my aunts footpath staring at me like he was going to kill me he looked so angry I'll never forget his face.
My aunt grabbed the broom ( of all things!!) and ran screaming after him and he ran , I stood at her door too frightened to move and when my aunt stopped and turned around to come back to the house he ran past her and made his way for me at the door way he looked like a crazed animal, I slammed the door and the next thing my aunt was telling me to open the door that he'd ran away again.

Newestname002 · 23/03/2022 16:19

@kissmelittleass

Another one.. I was 15 came out of my cousins house which was on a busy road in London and there was a guy walking in front of me aged about 20 at the time, he slowed down so I overtook him. I don't know why but I sensed from him slowing down that he was going to follow me so every now and then I looked back and he was still there, I approached a corner and ran quickly round it to cross the road. As I was stood waiting for the traffic to stop so I could cross he ran round the corner and stood behind me, I crossed the road and decided to dart through the housing estate in front of me as my aunt lived in a house on the end and I knew she might be home as it was the summer holidays mid afternoon so I ran looking behind me to which he was running after me with a crazed look on his face. I got to my aunts door banging frantically and calling through the letter box thank god she was home as she opened the door he stopped out of breath at the end of my aunts footpath staring at me like he was going to kill me he looked so angry I'll never forget his face. My aunt grabbed the broom ( of all things!!) and ran screaming after him and he ran , I stood at her door too frightened to move and when my aunt stopped and turned around to come back to the house he ran past her and made his way for me at the door way he looked like a crazed animal, I slammed the door and the next thing my aunt was telling me to open the door that he'd ran away again.

Wow this sounds frightening. Did you or your Aunt report this crazy person to the police? 🌹

MsMazKanata · 23/03/2022 16:28

In my late teens/early twenties I had a flat less than a mile from our city centre and would regularly walk home after a night out rather than jump in a taxi as being generally skint at the time it meant I could afford an extra drink.

Friends would often stay over on my sofa/floor and this one particular evening I had 2 female friends crashing at mine. It was summer, around 3am and we were laughing the sun would be up before we made it home due to the drunken falling over, messing around with our shoes, generally mucking around flinging ourselves around lampposts and being idiots when a car pulled up with 4 men inside.

They asked for directions the local hospital which I gave them and the driver suggested we get in and could guide them. I said no thanks, we wont fit Blush and started walking off to catch up with my friends when 2 men got out the back of the car. At this point I sobered up quickly. My drunken friends were slightly ahead and blissfully unaware of what was happening until I screamed "run". I had noticed a "shine" as one of the men exited - turns out one of the men was carrying a large knife and the other had a roll of tape Sad.

We pelted it home back to my flat and laughed about it. Took me a few days to realise we were all in shock.

I didn't learn until after moving away that the area I walked through so many times was used to house ex offenders after release from prison, many of them sex offenders.

ScreamingBees · 23/03/2022 16:36

So many of the situations, and as another poster mentioned so many involving predatory men. Lots of people sail through life never encountering these situations, and I'm happy for them, but they don't fully understand the experience of the rest of us, and the impact it can have.

I was in college library one early evening, and I went for a short walk to local garage shop nearby to buy some chocolate. On the way across the sports field I was grabbed by some guy I'd never seen before and sexually assaulted. It was 100% clear what he was going to do, but he had me use my hand first and "finished", so let me go. This might sound strange, but I considered myself lucky to get away with that.

kissmelittleass · 23/03/2022 20:04

@Newestname002 no my aunt didn't report it, it was mid eighties and she'd had a few experiences herself I've learnt since she'd arrived in London unfortunately it was just accepted back then!

imamumgetmeoutofhere · 23/03/2022 20:17

Mine is more sixth sense kind of avoiding danger but I guess that counts.

Many years ago when I was in my second year of university me and my group of friends had many nights out.

One particular night I had had one to many drinks and had left early. Usually we all went together as a group with the mindset that if one left we all left as safety in numbers etc. However this night I insisted I was fine to go alone and was happy for them to stay in the club and that I'd message them when I got home.

When we went home we used to walk down a dark alleyway together back to where we lived as it saved about 15-20 minutes from walking the long way around on a main road. We had walked this was hundreds of times.

Anyway, this particular night when I went to walk home I must have only walked two steps at most into this alleyway when I had a feeling that I absolutely must not go that way and that I had to walk the long way home. I can't tell you why because nothing was different about the area, I just could not bring myself to walk down that alleyway, it almost felt like something was physically stopping me. Which was odd as like I'd said we'd all walked this route home before many times.

The next morning around lunchtime there was breaking news in the area that a young woman had been raped and beaten in that alleyway. About 10 mins after I'd walked away from that spot.

So my sixth sense / gut instinct saved me. The poor girl who had been attacked luckily survived but I hate to think of what she went through Sad

HRTQueen · 23/03/2022 23:32

This thread makes me so angry the violence towards females from males and for so many of us when we were children AngrySad

I was in foster care for a few months (as had a very violent step father) I was aware that the foster dad and one of the foster girls had an odd relationship and the foster mother was always punishing her. I used to share a room with their son who was about eight
(I was 4) and he would often get in my bed. One night we were still awake and heard someone outside out door he told me to pretend to be sleeping. The foster father came in and I was aware he was standing there. I kept my eyes closed. I didn’t understand why he would get in my bed but I would often be crying he would make me laugh and cuddle me (I remember it being cold too) I realised as an adult he was also protecting me from his father

When I was young we used to play out in the street. There was an elderly couple up the road who had lived there for years mum was friends with their daughter. The used to invite us in to see their pets. One day the man invited me and my friend in and something just felt wrong. I didn’t like the way he looked at me. We had a drink and he pulled my friend on to his lap and was tickling her and touching her asking if she liked it. She was laughing but obviously uncomfortable I didn’t know what to do so he then tried to tickle me I jumped up and said we had to go I think I must have looked scared as he said you better be off girls and gave us a club bar. We never talked about it my poor friend must have been very confused i didn’t understand what was going on but knew it was wrong

I left school early as I wasn’t feeling very well I was 13 at the time. A van pulled up to the curb further up the road and he door opened when I walked past I heard hello so turned round and a man was wanking I walked on again he pulled up next to me so I crossed the road. I was close to home and turned into my road and he was there. I didn’t know who he was I saw him around a few more times and soon learnt when I told friends at school other girls had experienced the same. We laughed about it together but I know we were all very scared when it happened and we didn’t report it it was just one of those things that happened to girls

LuckyWithMyLot · 24/03/2022 00:12

I was held at knife point by 2 thugs on a deserted beach.

I had gone for a walk at 3am while a little bit drunk and on holiday; obviously not a smart decision.

One of the guys was trying to touch me up and I screamed and pushed him. The other guy told him to stop. Thank fuck.

Thankfully they were happy with the €50 note I had in my pocket and left.

XenoBitch · 24/03/2022 00:15

It could have gone either way...

I bumped into a guy who was on the run from the police cos he whacked his girlfriend. He wanted me to pretend I was his girlfriend and shrug it all off.
Trouble was, I was also on the run from the police, so we had some weird adventure together that night.
I ended up arrested then sectioned... no idea what happened to the other guy.

babywalker56 · 24/03/2022 08:25

I've read every single post since this thread started and I can't even say I'm shocked at what I've read. 90% of these incidents have to do with men harassing/stalking/touching/assaulting women. I genuinely would like to know what is wrong with men?

Is it that they see an opportunity to intimidate and overpower someone so they grab that opportunity by the hands? Does it have to do with how they're raised? Do they spend their spare time plotting on these attacks? I don't know what the answer is but the impact that these things have on us simply because men cannot be good people and leave us alone is long lasting. I wish we didn't have to ever experience these things

iklboo · 24/03/2022 08:31

@MistySkiesAfterRain - I was quoting another PP in the bold bit who thought taxis were more dodgy than public transport. I only get cabs I've phoned for - mind you black cabs for hailing are really rare outside of the city centre round here.

Squiff70 · 24/03/2022 08:35

@babywalker56

I've read every single post since this thread started and I can't even say I'm shocked at what I've read. 90% of these incidents have to do with men harassing/stalking/touching/assaulting women. I genuinely would like to know what is wrong with men?

Is it that they see an opportunity to intimidate and overpower someone so they grab that opportunity by the hands? Does it have to do with how they're raised? Do they spend their spare time plotting on these attacks? I don't know what the answer is but the impact that these things have on us simply because men cannot be good people and leave us alone is long lasting. I wish we didn't have to ever experience these things

I agree with you, its terrifying BUT it's vital we remember that not all men are like this. In reality it's probably a small proportion although from reading this thread it doesn't FEEL like it. Most men wouldn't dream of harming a child or woman. Most men are gentle, loyal, protective people who would be appalled and sickened by the disgraceful behaviour of other men.

Please let's not tar all men with the same brush. They're honestly not all bad.

My thoughts are still very much with those whove suffered - and are still suffering - at the hands of these despicable criminals and I long for a world where children and women (in particular, but men also) are safe from such harm.

babywalker56 · 24/03/2022 08:36

When I was a 12/13, I was walking back to my aunties house from Iceland and this grown man came up to me and just started kissing my neck. He pushed me onto the wall and kept kissing me and unzipped his trousers and got his penis out. He took my hand and made me stroke it and kept begging me to come to his house 'just over there' to have some tea. I was completely frozen and in shock but somehow I managed to slip away saying my auntie was expecting me. I walked so quickly to her house and never looked back. I also never said anything because I thought I'd get into trouble but that has always stayed with me.

When I was 20 and leaving a tube station, a man grabbed my bum whilst he was walking on the escalators. I shouted 'what the fuck are you doing' and he just stormed off. Once I left the station I couldn't see him anywhere until I realised he was hiding behind some sort of shed and started to follow me. He'd follow me and disappear but everytime I tried to get onto a bus, he came out of nowhere and went to get onto the same bus. I started panicking and didn't know what to do as he had some crazed look on his face. I called my mum and she told me to go into the local Sainsbury's and stay with security whilst she'd make her way to get me. As I was on the phone to her in tears, the guy appeared out of nowhere and was approaching me. I SCREAMED at the top of my voice for him to leave me alone and stop following me (bearing in mind this was Vauxhall station during rush hour. A young black woman clearly getting harassed by someone, of course no one stepped in to help). I was walking to Sainsbury's still on the phone to my mum and the guy was still following me. It must have been too much for me as I remember my legs giving way and I started to collapse. Just as I was falling a woman ran over and caught me. It was my ex friend's mum. I had fallen out with my friend the year before but her mum appeared out of nowhere and caught me. She took me back to her house and the man disappeared. I dred to think what would have happened if she didn't turn up. She really saved me that day

AlwaysLatte · 24/03/2022 08:37

Many years ago, driving up a twisty mountain road in Greece with sheer sides and no barriers. A very large truck was coming down, and we literally had our back wheels slightly over the edge. We didn't actually think we had got that close until we felt the back of the car dip down slightly. And that was with a manual. Hairy moment making sure we didn't roll back after releasing the handbrake once the truck had passed.

babywalker56 · 24/03/2022 08:41

Another one was when I was 19, I went to Northampton with my friends to go to some massive uni rave. We had so many pre drinks by the time we got there we were basically so out of it. I only remember bits of the night as my memory was so patchy.

The plan was to get a cab back to the house and I remember waking up hungover in the morning and one of our friends was in the bed with us (he didn't go to the rave but he was pre drinking with us before). I asked him why he was there and he said 'I came to pick you guys up and take you back here, don't you remember?' I looked at the videos in my phone and saw he did indeed pick us up as I had videos of us all laughing in his car.

That was the first and last time I'd ever let anyone drink drive around me. It sounds dramatic but I was sickened to know that he took us in his car knowing how drunk he was. He could barely keep his eyes open yet he managed to get us home in one piece?! Since then I've never got drunk to the point where I don't know what's happening. Honestly dred to think what could have happened to us or someone innocent

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