I think we should have an MN village show

[anotherneutralname]

What should the categories be?

Clearly we will need:

• most unusual object covered in glitter
• sculpture entirely from Waitrose recycling
• best artisan scotch egg (ahem)

What else? And what will you be entering?

Feel free to nominate yourself as a judge but we will need to see your credentials...

Dirtiest toilet brush.
Least used towels before they are washed again.
Guess the gender sex of the pregnancy scan.
Best line eyes eyesight competition using lines on a pregnancy test.

Tastiest fat balls.

Tallest son.

Best decorated penis beaker.

Identify the random sound coming from nowhere.

Most amazing virtue signaller.

Stealthiest bragger.

@LottyD32

Tastiest fat balls.

Tallest son.

Best decorated penis beaker.

Identify the random sound coming from nowhere.

I was just going to say "best decorated beaker to put a penis in" and you beat me to it!!!

Our local show always has a few cooking/craft classes Specially For Husbands. In view of the number of useless men reported on Mumsnet, how about

• Best meal cooked by a "DH" who has never lifted a finger in the kitchen before?
• Fastest Nappy Changing Competition for "DH"s who have never done any childcare before?

And for dissatisfied female partners...

• Fastest Digging, Filling and Disguising of a 6ft x 4 ft hole under a patio?

And for teenage DCs...

• Best/fastest persuasion/nagging of a parent to part with £20/provide a lift at midnight/buy the item that everyone else has!

I know all you younglings won't believe it but we did once do a Mumsnet Victoria Sponge Cake competition, back when all round here was fields.
You made your VSC then photographed it outside (why? Idk!) and put the photo up in your mumsnet profile (remember those?!) I can't recall the winner, I do recall one up a mountain in Fuji or NZ, one on a drystone wall in the dales or somewhere, Slubber's SPECTACULAR high sift.

Anyway, as you were. Praps you need a Storytelling tent for the Oldies

@FlibbertyGiblets

I know all you younglings won't believe it but we did once do a Mumsnet Victoria Sponge Cake competition, back when all round here was fields. You made your VSC then photographed it outside (why? Idk!) and put the photo up in your mumsnet profile (remember those?!) I can't recall the winner, I do recall one up a mountain in Fuji or NZ, one on a drystone wall in the dales or somewhere, Slubber's SPECTACULAR high sift.

Anyway, as you were. Praps you need a Storytelling tent for the Oldies

Nah, it’s nice to hear but I wish some of these were recent lolz. Was the past just funnier or have we not moved on?

"Our local show always has a few cooking/craft classes Specially For Husbands. In view of the number of useless men reported on Mumsnet, how about

• Best meal cooked by a "DH" who has never lifted a finger in the kitchen before?
• Fastest Nappy Changing Competition for "DH"s who have never done any childcare before?"

Excellent thinking.

I will run the bar.

We need Jackie Weaver as a roving judge of all competitions, and she will have full authority.

Best doom monger.

Ooooh a raffle!

1st Prize : a weekend at Centre Parcs.

2nd Prize: some pearls to clutch

3rd Prize: a new penis beaker

💐🏆💐

@CeliaCanth

Cheekiest Fucker

🤣

A raffle is essential.
Agreed Jackie Weaver needs to be there - arbiter of the row over opening the show?

Art category: best parking diagram

Hook the bobble plate from behind the toilet.

Best performance parenting.

Most entitled parent with different categories;
Loudest child.
Best screecher.
Most ear piercing scream.
Best stomper on laminate flooring above ground floor.
Earliest garden screamer.

I happen to be wearing a huge flowery hat and flowery dress so I am giving a prize in the made me laugh a lot category ( on the table next to the amusingly shaped carrots) to lotLadyGardenersQuestionTime for
I am happy to judge anything. I am very judgemental A special commendation for bunting made of red flags and lots of other commendations and silver plated lols to everyone else. Most amusing thread ☕️🍰

Baby names. With a whole panel of judges.

I remember the 'high sift' for the Victoria sandwich competition back in the day. However the absolute best category was the 'tea tray' where one entrant had a bottle of Smirnoff with 20 B&H propped up

Art. Winner is the one elicts the biggest scream.

Badlydonehelen
However the absolute best category was the 'tea tray' where one entrant had a bottle of Smirnoff with 20 B&H propped up
Genius. Hope she won 😀😀😀😀

Insult the Name of the Baby competition.

Worst diagram competition.

We can get some solicitors to donate a fictional ‘free half hour’ as prizes

A parade of judgy pants hoiked very high, followed by a parade of big-girl-pants.

This has made me laugh so much!

Who can cancel the cheque the fastest

Best excuse to call 111 or go to A&E

The snapped and farted three legged race

Piss on a stick stand! With a torch to see those very faint lines!