Dp won't let kids leave the house because of Russian invasion

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

We live in the UK and he won't let our secondary school age kids leave the house and go to school. It is 10 minutes away so pretty local. He is usually intelligent, aware of world events and history. He used to be in the marines and is very aware of military history and stuff. You get the picture. I think the kids can go in as normal but have discussed it with him and he wont budge. So they will have more time at home now. He wants them to have the whole week off. I have said they can stay home today and we will discuss it tomorrow. After all the lockdowns....self isolation due to covid twice.
Is he crazy?

Yes.

This is not a normal reaction, I would say.

Yes.

He’s abusive. Possibly because of a mental health crisis but you need to remove the children if he’s not letting them leave the house.

This is madness. You can't let him swamp your children in fear like this.

Ummmm yes I’d say as gently as possible to him that I’m concerned about him and his mental health. That’s not a normal level of worry or a normal response to this news.

Seek medical help. Send dc to school.

Yes and you need to send them to school. Not only is this crazy but it's bloody dangerous! So his mental health is suddenly so bad out of the blue he wants to keep his children hostage in a country that's not at war.

No that's not a normal reaction. Did he see action in the marines - could this have triggered a depressive / PTSD episode?

Keeping the kids at home is daft.

Why does he think they should be home?

What does he think could happen to them outside that they are protected from inside?

Do you live in a nuclear fallout shelter?

He's being irrational but fear is often irrational and a lot of people are really scared right now. He needs to think rationally about it. Say what he is afraid will happen and say why he thinks staying at home will help. I think often when people are asked to explain things like that, they realise they are not being logical

I don’t agree he is being abusive. I think his reaction is probably driven by PTSD. I’d seek medical help for him and send the kids to school. His reaction isn’t normal and you should not be enabling the paranoia.

Look at military veterans websites, sounds like PTSD being sparked.
Combat Stress, All Call Signs.
Can sign post him to mental health help or offer guidance/advice

Yes he’s crazy. He does not have the right to let his anxieties affect his children’s education. I’d be honest with the school about why your children aren’t in and see if they will talk to him about his crazy.

He needs help if he’s being like this.

Do you not have a day in what happens in the home? How old are DC? How is he preventing them from going to school?

This is purely down to mental health reasons I suspect .

Difficult for those who are fortunate enough not to suffer them, so easy to say he's ' crazy ' or ' abusive'.

Yes, the children need to go to school and I would gently suggest he has a chat with the Doctor.

Sounds like PTSD to me and my mental health is horrendous so I understand where he is coming from.

Hope all is okay 💕

He’s not being abusive. He’s ex military and this has probably triggered some level of ptsd for him. He’ll be very aware of how wrong it could go if Putin did follow through with his nukes threat (I don’t believe he will but plenty of people are worried and some people who have been in war situations will have a different experience to us and take what’s happening differently to others)

@WouldIwasShookspeared I would imagine he’s worried that if putin does go full Tonto to quote Ben Wallace then we’ll have about 4 mins left and is worried the children will be too far away in school.

OP do you know any of his ex military friends thy could come speak to him maybe help him calm down and rationalise?

I don’t think he’s crazy. Putin threatened never before seen consequences for interfering. Easily construed as nukes. We’ve interfered. Putin has the means to send a nuke here. Very easily. So it is logical to consider that we could be nuked. However secondary kids need to go to school. At this stage, they should definitely go. But your h isn’t wrong or stupid. He’s knowledgeable and experienced and worrying over something that could easily happen. Putin has no decency or boundaries. He does things that are beyond the pale. He just novichooks or irradiated people who don’t agree with him. He has already trashed himself by invading like this and so why wouldn’t he start firing nukes? He personally has little to lose given his age and position.

This certainly sounds like some sort of mental health crisis has been triggered. He needs to get help and your DC should be out and about and at school.

He sounds very scared and irrational. Can you call one of those veterans charities and ask for advice? It’s probably going to be difficult to get him to pick up the phone himself right now.

That's really not normal. What is keeping them at home supposed to even achieve?

I wouldn't be buying into this. Tell the kids to go to school. Regardless of his reasoning it will be damaging for them to stay at home in case the Russians come. Get them to crack on and then try and get him to seek some help.

Try calling SSAFA and see if one of their field support staff can pop round for a chat
www.ssafa.org.uk/about-us/how-we-help

Does he have PTSD / depression / mental health issues? This isn’t rational behaviour.