Dp won't let kids leave the house because of Russian invasion

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

We live in the UK and he won't let our secondary school age kids leave the house and go to school. It is 10 minutes away so pretty local. He is usually intelligent, aware of world events and history. He used to be in the marines and is very aware of military history and stuff. You get the picture. I think the kids can go in as normal but have discussed it with him and he wont budge. So they will have more time at home now. He wants them to have the whole week off. I have said they can stay home today and we will discuss it tomorrow. After all the lockdowns....self isolation due to covid twice.
Is he crazy?

@Prescottdanni123

How are Russians going to succeed in invading a country that hasn't been on the receiving end of a successful invasion since 1066?

I reckon he is worried about a nuclear attack/bombs, not tanks physically invading the GB.

@Privateandconfidentialplease To me at sounds like he has convinced himself Russia will nuke us and he doesn't want the children to be away from him when it happens. This is extremely sad :( He obviously loves his children very much.

I have no advice. I feel very sorry for you all.

That is insane. Your poor children. I'd ignore him too and just carry on as normal.

What about you? Are you allowed out?

Bit extreme I would say.

If we are nuked (and bear in mind it takes just 20 minutes for a nuclear weapon to travel from Russia to Europe. Also, they are now far bigger and badder than the ones dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki) then you want to ensure you are as close to a target as possible with every person and animal you love. This way you will be instantly incinerated. No sane person wants to survive a nuclear war or live on Earth thereafter.

I think DH needs some therapy but I get there is probably a lot of irrational anxiety around at the moment too :)

This 💯 sounds like PTSD. Can you urgently try and get a referral for him? Combat Stress may be a good place to start?

@Wavypurple

Ignore all of the internet doctors diagnosing him with PTSD without even knowing him or anything about your family

This sounds really horrible for you I’m sorry you’re going through it. But no it’s not a rational response. What would happen if you just took them to school tomorrow?

You don’t have to be a doctor to recognise the symptoms, I have experience of PTSD and irrational behaviour is a huge indicator of PTSD, that is how mental health professionals diagnose it.

@Fridafever

He’s abusive. Possibly because of a mental health crisis but you need to remove the children if he’s not letting them leave the house.

How? Because he’s a man, they are allowed to have mental health issues as well as women you know. This has probably triggered something relating to his service days. He needs help so I guess you’ll have to start with your gp.

A lot of peoples mental health has taken a hit due to covid and now another type of crisis directly on top is enough to push some people over the edge.

He sounds very unwell and needs to see a doctor I’d say.

I didn’t want to send my baby to nursery today or my 4 year old to pre school, or my older dc to school. I am terrified of nuclear war BUT they are unaware and they love school. I’m telling myself it’s so unlikely but if it happened they would be somewhere they are happy.

The temptation to keep them home if I did it would be selfish on my part and not in their best interests

We have had 2 decades of 'the war on terror' which has seen nearly every continent and dozens of countries involved with both military action and terrorist bomb threats widespread and ongoing (including many orchestrated attacks on our country like 7/7 and manchester arena).

I really don't see why people are suddenly freaking out, we have literally been in a 'worldwide' war since 2001 (its litrally classed as a global level war) and its STILL ongoing ffs, it's the same shit just a different country in the spotlight.

Russia has been heavily involved in this two-decade war, Including many attacks on planes including civilian ones.

Feel bad for Ukraine but nothing has changed really - regardless of 'name' we have been in WW3 for fucking ages and now one cared a few months ago and nothing has changed for us here.

I think it’s extremely mean and unhelpful to say op’s partner is crazy. As others have mentioned he more than likely has PTSD and that should not be taken lightly, he’s been a marine. I have friends how have been in the armed forces and it’s changes them for the worse.
But I’m not going to lie, it has crossed my mind. None of us knows how this will pan out and if the absolute worst were to happen you’d want your dc with you, wouldn’t you?
I don’t know what the answer is, of course we all need to go about our every day lives but so many of us already have broken mental health due to the last couple of years and this will trigger bigger things in those of us who are fragile. He is NOT crazy, irrational thinking yes, but not crazy.

What an abusive idiot! I’d call the police and say he’s holding you all hostage.

If you feel at all frightened of him OP you really need to take action.
I appreciate that this sounds like a MH crisis he can’t help but if he escalates you need to plan what to do.
He could be dangerous without even meaning to be and you must protect your children

@Foolsrule

What an abusive idiot! I’d call the police and say he’s holding you all hostage.

This is not a police matter. Ignore this one.

What are his political views OP?

Does he read conspiracy sites?

@battenburgHatday

I didn’t want to send my baby to nursery today or my 4 year old to pre school, or my older dc to school. I am terrified of nuclear war BUT they are unaware and they love school. I’m telling myself it’s so unlikely but if it happened they would be somewhere they are happy.

The temptation to keep them home if I did it would be selfish on my part and not in their best interests

This crisis could go on for months, or even years. You can’t keep them at home for that long. This is not just aimed at you, btw it’s aimed at anyone.

Ben Wallace (defence secretary) was saying yesterday that his 12 year old son phoned him because he was worried about this;

"President Putin will know that anything involving a nuclear weapon has an equal or greater response from the West," Mr Wallace said.
"It [the UK's nuclear deterrent] does keep us safe and that's why I would say to parents up and down this country we will not do anything to escalate in that area.
"We will not do anything to feed any miscalculation. We take it very, very seriously

What do you mean won’t go down well?
Send your kids to school- seriously you’re putting your husbands irrationality over your children’s needs!

@Privateandconfidentialplease

I don't think I am enabling him. Usually what I say goes...regarding the kids. He really wont budge on this. I reckon if i insist they go in it won't go well. I will try to get them in tomorrow tho. He said he isn't going into work this week. He said he doesn't want to spend the last hours of life at work.

How is he mentally otherwise? Does he have a history of anxiety, PTSD etc?

Also what do you mean it won't end well if you insist? Are you concerned for yours or the kids physical safety?

I'd assume he's having some sort of mental breakdown possibly due to past trauma in which case you need to get him help before this gets more extreme. What happens if the world isn't over and neither is the war next week? Month?

Is there any support via the Marines for ex service personnel?

@itsnotover

I know. I didn’t keep them home ..

OP, if you think the situation may escalate (physically?) if you try to force the issue of kids to School this morning then don't force it -1 day isn't the end of the world. But I'd use the time today to try to get specialist Military PTSD support involved / or if not, ask GP to refer to local emergency MH team. Document. Then you might have more support to insist kids go in tomorrow / rest of week. Safely. For all of you. Good luck - he sounds unwell but you & kids need support too.

You need to have him seen by mental health. He's cracked up and needs help.

Totally bloody idiotic.

Hes being ridiculous is he ill?
Theres nothing to hide from unless you in ukraine he will be lucky to not lose his job

The threat of nuclear war isn't a crazy irrational fear, it's not like he's suddenly afraid of alien abduction or microchips in vaccines.

If you think there's a chance of being bombed this week, then of course you want to be with your children. Not just to spend your last moments together, but if the bomb is far enough away that we survive it and your children are at school, there's almost no chance you'd be able to get to them and help. They'd live or die alone.
The urge to protect your family is a very natural one.

Personally, I think the chance of nuclear war in the near future is very low. Certainly low enough that it shouldn't disrupt our lives at the moment. Things might change.
The DH in this situation thinks the chances are a lot higher.
It's not a case of simply dismissing an irrational fear though.

Getting some mental health support and trying to put fears into perspective and balance the risks towards the children are the way to go. Shouting about him being abusive isn't.