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Original poster

Dp won't let kids leave the house because of Russian invasion

327 replies

Privateandconfidentialplease · 01/03/2022 08:28

We live in the UK and he won't let our secondary school age kids leave the house and go to school. It is 10 minutes away so pretty local. He is usually intelligent, aware of world events and history. He used to be in the marines and is very aware of military history and stuff. You get the picture. I think the kids can go in as normal but have discussed it with him and he wont budge. So they will have more time at home now. He wants them to have the whole week off. I have said they can stay home today and we will discuss it tomorrow. After all the lockdowns....self isolation due to covid twice.
Is he crazy?

OP posts:
StaplesCorner · 01/03/2022 10:10

I can't believe you think this is OK OP. Please get him some help today, send the kids to your family if he's behaving like this around them but don't expose them to this.

Take your phone into the car sit and ring some of the organisations suggested here ASAP.

Foolsrule · 01/03/2022 10:11

@Privateandconfidentialplease - are you safe? Do you feel like you and your children are able to leave the house? What do you mean by ‘it won’t go well’? I am entirely serious when I say that you are perfectly within your rights to call the police if you are literally scared to walk out of the door for fear of what your partner could do to you. That is not normal, mental illness or not. He is not your boss and you have free will.

busyeatingbiscuits · 01/03/2022 10:11

@Briony123

Watch Threads. If you were to survive a nuclear attack, you would have plenty of time indoors together afterwards.
If you could get to your children. Which is presumably what he is worried about.
Noname1999 · 01/03/2022 10:11

Please get him and your family support. Reactions like that are difficult to experience and witness. Your family is on my thoughts. Flowers

Noname1999 · 01/03/2022 10:11

*in

MrsRhodes · 01/03/2022 10:12

Does he have PTSD (or do you suspect it) from his time in the Marines?

Dillydollydingdong · 01/03/2022 10:14

Yes he's crazy, literally. There is no threat to the UK and no reason to keep the DC in. Even if there was a threat, keeping them indoors would not help. Get him a doctor's appointment.

NewYearEveryYear · 01/03/2022 10:14

@MagicFox

But what is the point of the warning?
The point of the warning is that the impact zone of a nuclear weapon isn't always huge, but the fallout zone is much larger.

I wouldn't want to survive impact, but I'd like to survive fallout - the warning gives enough time to get somewhere safe to avoid fallout.

Usually the fallout takes 5-15 minutes to fall back down to ground level. That gives people time to get somewhere enclosed to avoid it.

After 5-10 days, it's often safer to leave the fallout zone than to stay.

People as close as 300m to the epicenter of Hiroshima survived.

Note: I do not believe this will happen. I'm just explaining my rationale.

Second note: I don't know the things above due to recent obsession, I studied it at University.

This article is reasonably accurate: www.businessinsider.com/survive-nuclear-explosion-go-inside-shelter-no-windows-2018-1?r=US&IR=T

Rosebel · 01/03/2022 10:16

He wants them to stay home for a week? Why? Does he think the war will be over by then?
He needs to stop being ridiculous. There isn't even a threat to us at the moment. He needs to let the kids carry on as normal. Can't imagine the school will be impressed with the reason for them being off either.

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 01/03/2022 10:17

His response is not proportionate - is it a mental health issue?

Of course the kids should go to school.

bellac11 · 01/03/2022 10:17

@Lady089

www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/ptsd-in-military-veterans.htm

@Privateandconfidentialplease

He needs support, most Mumsnetters will be completely unaware of just how much this impacts veterans and calling him ‘abusive’ is not helpful.

The word abusive is thrown round freely on this forum, only at men of course. This man needs help and yes he could pose a threat to his children if he is pushed but thats not being abusive, thats being ill.
LINABE · 01/03/2022 10:17

@tara66

He can't be serious. You have a problem.
Hey - he was in the Military tara66 - try being a bit more understanding.
PiffleWiffleWoozle · 01/03/2022 10:18

Sounds like he needs some medical support for anxiety.

ChaToilLeam · 01/03/2022 10:18

He definitely needs mental health support. This is not rational behaviour at all.

Ilostit · 01/03/2022 10:18

My father suffered something similar post 9/11. It was definitely a mental health breakdown. He would stand at the curtains keeping them closed saying Bin Laden and his men were coming for us. It was really disconcerting for us but we were able to go out he would just sit in the lounge with the news on loop.

labyrinthlaziness · 01/03/2022 10:19

@Rosebel

He wants them to stay home for a week? Why? Does he think the war will be over by then? He needs to stop being ridiculous. There isn't even a threat to us at the moment. He needs to let the kids carry on as normal. Can't imagine the school will be impressed with the reason for them being off either.
What an insightful, nuanced answer Hmm

Potentially if he ever trained in nuclear military response, and is now thinking about that, he thinks we may all be dead in a week.

Comedycook · 01/03/2022 10:21

I just want my little family all in one place, I've read articles on how to survive nuclear fallout, and the key advice is to stay put in a solid building (like our house

Ok

girlmom21 · 01/03/2022 10:21

@Rosebel

He wants them to stay home for a week? Why? Does he think the war will be over by then? He needs to stop being ridiculous. There isn't even a threat to us at the moment. He needs to let the kids carry on as normal. Can't imagine the school will be impressed with the reason for them being off either.
Because he thinks he'll be dead next week, hence the not wanting to spend his final days in work.
bellac11 · 01/03/2022 10:22

[quote Foolsrule]@Privateandconfidentialplease - are you safe? Do you feel like you and your children are able to leave the house? What do you mean by ‘it won’t go well’? I am entirely serious when I say that you are perfectly within your rights to call the police if you are literally scared to walk out of the door for fear of what your partner could do to you. That is not normal, mental illness or not. He is not your boss and you have free will.[/quote]
I agree, if the children and/or OP are being physically prevented or feel that they would be physically prevented from leaving the house, then she needs to call the police. They would a) be able to safeguard the family b) be able to see if they feel he needs a mental health assessment (although good luck getting that to happen)

LINABE · 01/03/2022 10:24

@Rosehugger

It's unfair to label him as crazy or abusive. He's a man of war. He's seen the worst sides of conflict

Cut out the "our brave boys" nonsense. Presumably he wasn't trafficked or conscripted into the forces?

They didn't say that though did they? They said he has been a man of war and seen the worst sides of conflict, which he has. Whether he was conscripted or not. How do you know that what he has seen hasn't sent him into spiralling mental health issues?? I bet he didn't expect that when he {voluntarily) signed up.
dontgobaconmyheart · 01/03/2022 10:29

It isn't healthy OP, at all. It is not acceptable either that he is able to veto your ability to parent your own children, nor place them on lockdown with you saying it 'won't go well' if you go against it.

Mental health may explain his behaviour but does not excuse it. I would speak with his/your GP and focus on protecting the DC from this added anxiety. It must be worrying for them.

Someone who genuinely believes their life will end in a week may be prone to all sorts, if he believes it's true he must also believe there will be therefore no consequences to his own actions. He needs some help here, and the DC need protecting from it as best can be managed.

Whattodoniw · 01/03/2022 10:29

@tara66

He can't be serious. You have a problem.

Finest example of how to not to be empathetic.

RishiRich · 01/03/2022 10:31

You need to phone their school and his GP to explain the situation and ask for help. He needs immediate psychiatric support.

crispsarny · 01/03/2022 10:32

@Fridafever

He’s abusive. Possibly because of a mental health crisis but you need to remove the children if he’s not letting them leave the house.
FFS he’s not abusive he is having a mental health crisis, a lot of people are, it’s back to back fuckery at the moment, great if you can cope but many can’t & are being pushed over the edge. Op I hope you can get some support for your partner, the kids need some normality.
Whattodoniw · 01/03/2022 10:32

@Comedycook

He's either abusive or he's having a mental health crisis. Pack your kids off to school and call the gp or ltb depending on which it is.

This kind of post astonishes
me.

Leave him? When he's clearly unwell?

Such unkindness

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