The title of your memoir is the last text you sent

[IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece]

Inspired by the ridiculousness of mine.

“There’s a pube on my bloody donut”

'Do you love me enough to fetch me my inhaler and bring it to me in bed?'

Reset - yes he did

*reader

Text accompanied by a picture!

‘Show her this-‘

The joys of hedgehog anatomy!

'I'm not sure it's work the bother'

"BY THE SODDING BUS STOP!!"

Yes, that sounds about right for my autobiography.

No wonder she doesn’t get anything done and is always angry

Very very apt sadly

" No it wont budge"
I'll let ye guess what wouldn't budge!

Oh, I was hoping to grab you...

Yeah course. Anytime is good with me

"Woof"

I can see you.

Hey the pants icon looks like the green playing field pants 😂😂😂 x

So don't worry about that.

"Hi sorry thought I had replied but it didn’t go through. The bin is amusing!"

“What do you want?”

Lol mine is (WhatsApp) : like wtf

Thanks Shep

"Did I turn the hob off??" Pretty apt

'Noice'

Definitely not a bestseller

'Cool.'

(Does not describe me in the slightest).

Thanks for lending us the mop I’ve left it inside the door.

Still in the land of the living.

"Stop being so fucking passive aggressive"

call him a poo head - you'll be home fairly quickly