What easy things are you just shit at?

[coastergirl]

It's ridiculous. I'm a 37 year old woman. I have 2 kids, a job I love. I function reasonably well!

I cannot butter bread. I make a complete mess of it. Holes in the bread etc. I can't blame it on hard butter because I use marg.

I'm ill and bored. Please make me feel better by telling me the "easy" things you're shit at.

@savehannah

Soft boiled eggs. I can poach, scramble, omelette, fry. Boiled either come out with runny white or solid yolk. I once did it right using Delia's method but when I've tried again the same way it was practically raw.

Pan of boiling water with salt. Large eggs straight from the fridge. Lower slowly into the water on a slotted spoon, timer for 6 minutes, take them out and put straight into cold water for a minute or so. Perfect every time!

I cannot do small talk! Have no sense of direction when walking like a pp. Recently ended up walking around the sand dunes where I live for SO long, with a toddler who was demanding to be carried. Not good.

I can’t
Whistle
Sing
Keep plants alive
Dust-I just push it round so it collects in piles
Put shoes away-I put them in the basket and I swear they crawl out,ready for someone to trip over them
Clean glass-it just smears

Opening biscuits, cereal, post etc in the correct way - I always manage to rip the tops off cereal packets so you can’t close it properly, I have even opened the post before and ripped the contents nearly in half…I promise I’m not an imbecile!

Houseplants - I got cocky in 2021 and thought ‘look at me - i can do this!’ and then the winter came and it all turned to shit.

Another one for cling film. Just realised yesterday that I wasn’t tearing the foil on the serrated edge either - and I was wondering why it was always such a mess.

I’m terrible at so many things. And great at others. There’s no middle ground for me.

Opening child proof bottles. My dd has to do it

Making fajitas.

I am a competent cook. I make many marinadey, strifry type things with no problem. But fajitas? Always bland and watery. Never that saucey, moreishness that other people can do. I have to get DH to make them.

Driving. Have a good job am reasonably intelligent. Cannot seem to get a grip with it. I honestly can't believe the numbers of people on the roads and can't understand why I just can't do it!

@Harriet181

Chopping onion. I always end up nearly missing a finger tip. Bought a device now that chops the onion in one go.

Frozen chopped onions and garlic have genuinely changed my life. I cook properly far more often, and no waste.

*Not that driving itself is easy, but you'd think someone that can drive in general just fine, could park without making a pigs arse of it so often.

Opening any form of box/ food packaging. They always look like they’ve been mauled by a creature lacking opposable thumbs and it’s either too hard to get the contents out, or it all just falls/ squirts out in every direction when you try to pour. I’m particularly bad at the big bags of dog food, my husband eventually banned me from opening those altogether.

I also can’t click my fingers.

Unlocking doors.

Brewing up. I don't drink tea or coffee so making it for other people makes me feel anxious. I'm always sure I'm doing it wrong.

Saying the word 'particularly'. My tongue adds extra l's.

Cannot wink for the life of me so I do a reverse wink at my kids (I don't actually wink at anybody but I'd like to be able to do it). I did practice on my dogs for years, can't do it.

I can never ever cook the right amount of rice or pasta. Either too much or too little. I tried all the tricks and I can't manage this.

I'm glad I'm not the only one unable to keep house plants. Dying within 3 months tops if I look after them. Garden plants are quite successful though.

I can’t paint woodwork. I can paint walls, I’ve decorated all bar one room in this house on my own & I’m not half bad at it.

It’s just rubbish at doing the woodwork.

Oh and telling my left from my right. I can do it but I always have to think about it first.

Run
Dance
Tie shoelaces so they stay done up
Left and right
Slice bread
Draw
Apply makeup
Walk in a straight line.
Pipe icing.

Dyspraxia and severe astigmatism. It’s not a great combination.

Coordination!

I cannot do exercises whether you have to move other arms and legs at the same time, like if a go to boxercise, I either get the leg movement right but not the arms or vice versa. Zumba the same etc.

Like brutally embarrassingly bad. Can do both separately but simultaneously it just falls apart!

To be fair , cling film makers have worked out that they have increased their profits by one hundred percent because people are so fed up not being able to use it they just end up buying new ones in the vague hope it'll all be better with a new roll of it instead.
I use foil now as at least you can cut it and it does actually work. Unlike any brand of cling film I've ever tried to use

Dancing

I’m good at sports especially racket sports but I am awful at dancing I just can’t let me set go and as DS would add I am pathetic at football!

I can't use a tin opener .... 🤦🏻‍♀️ puzzles me every time !

@NeverChange

Coordination!

I cannot do exercises whether you have to move other arms and legs at the same time, like if a go to boxercise, I either get the leg movement right but not the arms or vice versa. Zumba the same etc.

Like brutally embarrassingly bad. Can do both separately but simultaneously it just falls apart!

I'm horrendous at anything like this! We do chair yoga at the start of lessons at my school. So easy but I just can't do it!

Do hair and makeup (especially eye liner)
Keep plants alive. I can even kill mint

However, I can make excellent mashed potato and boil/fry eggs.

@Poppy101010

I can't use a tin opener .... 🤦🏻‍♀️ puzzles me every time !

Neither can I. I got a new one from Amazon that took me a few goes to figure out, but it's good. I'll find the link.

A tomato sauce or a white sauce or any kind of basic cooking that frankly, a 12 year old would be able to do with instructions. They just don’t work.

I also can’t do any type of eyeliner or mascara. Any makeup that isn’t foundation and powder, really. It’s ridiculous.

Whistling. Oh how I'd love to be able to put two fingers in my mouth and deliver an earsplitter.

Balancing on one leg. Just cannot do it