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Original poster

What easy things are you just shit at?

426 replies

coastergirl · 11/02/2022 20:09

It's ridiculous. I'm a 37 year old woman. I have 2 kids, a job I love. I function reasonably well!

I cannot butter bread. I make a complete mess of it. Holes in the bread etc. I can't blame it on hard butter because I use marg.

I'm ill and bored. Please make me feel better by telling me the "easy" things you're shit at.

OP posts:
savehannah · 11/02/2022 20:53

Soft boiled eggs. I can poach, scramble, omelette, fry. Boiled either come out with runny white or solid yolk. I once did it right using Delia's method but when I've tried again the same way it was practically raw.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 11/02/2022 20:53

I can't run (dodgy hip after an operation).

I cannot whistle, which the kid find hilarious.

And makeup always looks shite when I put it on.

DoINeedMoreWeetabix · 11/02/2022 20:53

Yes to bowling even with the bumpers up I am shite

Directions when walking in the country. (I can do with roads and landmarks when driving or walking in city) Out for a dog walk with a friend I have no fucking idea where I am

Gardening

Diy generally

PlanetNormal · 11/02/2022 20:54

Writing.

I don’t mean the content ; hopefully what I type on MN is reasonably coherent. I mean writing with a pen. I have barely hand-written anything since leaving university almost 30 years ago and my handwriting, which was never the tidiest or most legible, has atrophied through lack of use to the point at which it has become an embarrassment.

I can’t be the only one, can I?

DuckonaBike · 11/02/2022 20:55

I have so many things I can’t do that this thread is very cheering!

Hair
Make up
Hitting a ball
Driving (including parking)
Front crawl
Multi tasking

I do, however, make great omelettes.

DoINeedMoreWeetabix · 11/02/2022 20:55

Short term memory

Take an order for a round of hot drinks
Annie coffee white none
Becky tea white 1 sugar
Caroline coffee black

Leave the room
Brain is blank

BuddhaForMary · 11/02/2022 20:55

@PlanetNormal my handwriting was awful as a kid, it's illegible now. Only I can read it 😂

ABitOfAShitShow · 11/02/2022 20:55

@FaintlyMacabre

Wearing a scarf stylishly. Doing anything with my hair. Keeping the house (or indeed anything) tidy. Cooking the right amount of pasta.
Nobody can cook the right amount of pasta, faintly. Nobody.
ThreeRingCircus · 11/02/2022 20:55

With butter it needs to be really soft, left out of the fridge in a butter dish in order to spread well.

I can't change my king size duvet for toffee. Just cannot do it, it's too big and I end up with a lumpy duvet that doesn't fill the cover properly. DH therefore changes the beds in this house.

Icecreamandapplepie · 11/02/2022 20:55

Getting babies to go to sleep. Cannot do the arms to cot transfer. Nervous wreck.

Work out what the clock changes mean for the next day.

DoINeedMoreWeetabix · 11/02/2022 20:55

I also can't count the lengths when I am swimming. Lose track in my head

Footsanitiser · 11/02/2022 20:56

I can't make a sponge cake following a recipe. If I use the "tip" or amendment of the same recipe to make a chocolate sponge, it's fine, and exactly as it should be. But the plain sponge is always greasy and stodgy.

muddyford · 11/02/2022 20:56

Poaching eggs.
Parallel parking.

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/02/2022 20:57

Small talk.

NatriumChloride · 11/02/2022 20:57

Cutting wrapping paper in a straight line! I can’t do it for the life of me, even if the paper has the cheat guidelines on the back I still manage to mess it up!

@Waxonwaxoff0 - poaching eggs is not an easy task!

Original poster
coastergirl · 11/02/2022 20:59

To the pp who asked if I'm your husband...um...I'm pretty sure I'm not! 😂

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who can't butter bread. I wonder if I could be taught?

I can't believe how many of these involve eggs. I'm pretty good with eggs. And parking!

OP posts:
MrsGHarrison87 · 11/02/2022 20:59

I have trouble with keys. I could never open the gates in the place where I used to work.

Original poster
coastergirl · 11/02/2022 20:59

@NatriumChloride

Cutting wrapping paper in a straight line! I can’t do it for the life of me, even if the paper has the cheat guidelines on the back I still manage to mess it up!

@Waxonwaxoff0 - poaching eggs is not an easy task!

I cannot cut wrapping paper or anything else in a straight line!

OP posts:
robinwoo · 11/02/2022 21:00

Measuring with tape measure
Whistling
Reverse parking

Fizbosshoes · 11/02/2022 21:00

Anything to do with clingfilm. (I mean using in the kitchen for food, not any other business!)
I can't tear it along the serated edge and I make a complete pigs ear of wrapping anything in it.
I've given up now and use tupperware for storing things and foil for wrapping because it's more eco and nowhere near as annoying

TroysMammy · 11/02/2022 21:00

Cling film. I don't buy it anymore.
Making Welsh cakes and I'm Welsh. I'm a disgrace.

MulticatHouse · 11/02/2022 21:01

I can't make an omelette. Always ends up a mangled mess.

Ellewoods20 · 11/02/2022 21:02

Cutting in a straight line

Harriet181 · 11/02/2022 21:03

Chopping onion. I always end up nearly missing a finger tip. Bought a device now that chops the onion in one go.

SoItWas · 11/02/2022 21:03

Parking for me