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Original poster

What easy things are you just shit at?

426 replies

coastergirl · 11/02/2022 20:09

It's ridiculous. I'm a 37 year old woman. I have 2 kids, a job I love. I function reasonably well!

I cannot butter bread. I make a complete mess of it. Holes in the bread etc. I can't blame it on hard butter because I use marg.

I'm ill and bored. Please make me feel better by telling me the "easy" things you're shit at.

OP posts:
BearSoFair · 12/02/2022 14:34

Changing duvet covers. Always 50-50 whether the duvet or me will end up in the cover Grin

Lleeaahh1992 · 12/02/2022 14:40

Organising my home, getting the quilt cover onto the quilt and being on time.

timeforteaforyouandme · 12/02/2022 14:41

Yorkshire puddings to rise. I am from Yorkshire so this matters

Evilpixie41 · 12/02/2022 14:41

Anything that involves cooking eggs that is nt related to baking a cake. Can't boil them, cant scramble them, would nt even attempt to fry or poach them. Just a bad idea.

Liquid eyeliner.
keeping Houseplants alive that are any harder to care for then an amerylis.

BabyFeb22 · 12/02/2022 17:16

I feel like liquid eyeliner is like art, you can either do it or you can't! I always just use black eyeshadow and a really small brush 😂

Fridafever · 12/02/2022 17:20

@BabyFeb22

I feel like liquid eyeliner is like art, you can either do it or you can't! I always just use black eyeshadow and a really small brush 😂
I agree with this! I remember my friend trying to teach me years and years ago - I just can’t do it!
blanketyblanked · 12/02/2022 18:26

I have NEVER been able to tie shoelaces 'properly'

Waitwhat23 · 12/02/2022 19:33

I can't decorate cakes. And I don't mean drip cakes or making them look like a train or something. I mean making buttercream that doesn't slide off the cake or draping fondant over a cake. My husband has to do the marzipan and icing for my Christmas cake every year.

Doing my eyebrows or nails. Shite at both so get them done.

I can knit but extremely slowly. Would take about 8 years to knit a jumper.

I have a bizarre mental block with spelling the word who. I know it's w h o but I'll sit there for ages thinking 'hoo? No, that's not right'.

jay55 · 12/02/2022 19:58

Picking things up off the floor. I think my varifocals mess with my perception, and my balance is gone. I've bought a grabby thing to help and it's been a marvel at home. I still feel terrified of dropping things in public.

MissAmbrosia · 12/02/2022 20:38

Crochet. I can knit, but crochet totally escapes me, despite various people trying to teach me. I see friends knock up gorgeous stuff and I can't do it at all. The Woolly Hugs lot put me shame!

Mrsweasleysclock · 12/02/2022 21:01

I am incredibly shit at wrapping presents. I just don't understand how people can do it so easily. I love gift bags/boxes.

FlamingoDust · 12/02/2022 21:13

The incy wincy spider actions, I can't get my hands to do it right!
Getting the sheet and duvet cover back on the bed after it has been washed

MrsFlump · 12/02/2022 21:38

Swim
Apply eyeliner
Use chopsticks
Do maths
Joined up handwriting, never taught in school, DS who is 10 has beautiful handwriting
Ice skate or rollerskate
I am also poor with plants, the amount my greenfingered DM has given me that I have managed to kill is embarrassing

Original poster
coastergirl · 12/02/2022 22:00

@MissAmbrosia

Crochet. I can knit, but crochet totally escapes me, despite various people trying to teach me. I see friends knock up gorgeous stuff and I can't do it at all. The Woolly Hugs lot put me shame!

I'm not sure this counts as an "easy" thing 😂 I used to be able to knit really well as a child (my mum taught me) but I can't do it as an adult.

I'm terrible at wrapping presents. Used to get the ex husband to do it because he was really good. Now it looks like I've let the toddler/cat do it.

OP posts:
Original poster
coastergirl · 12/02/2022 22:01

@FlamingoDust

The incy wincy spider actions, I can't get my hands to do it right! Getting the sheet and duvet cover back on the bed after it has been washed

I can't do incy wincy spider either!

OP posts:
Gilead · 12/02/2022 23:25

Cake decorating. I’m well known for my cakes, they look simple but taste amazing, or so I’m told. BUT the second I try to get them looking fancy it’s as though a two year old has attacked it with icing and felt pens. Perfect Lemon drizzle, Victoria sponge, chocolate cake, I’m your woman, anything else, not a sodding chance!

Original poster
coastergirl · 12/02/2022 23:53

@Gilead

Cake decorating. I’m well known for my cakes, they look simple but taste amazing, or so I’m told. BUT the second I try to get them looking fancy it’s as though a two year old has attacked it with icing and felt pens. Perfect Lemon drizzle, Victoria sponge, chocolate cake, I’m your woman, anything else, not a sodding chance!

I'm really good at baking and decorating cupcakes, but I cannot do a big cake. Especially not with fondant icing. It looks like my 2yo did it.

OP posts:
MooseBreath · 13/02/2022 00:09

I am awful at riding a bike. I stopped because I was a danger on the road.

I can't do makeup beyond basic mascara and lipstick, unless I want to look like a 90s goth.

I can't fry bacon without turning it into what DH affectionately calls "meat crackers".

I'm also beyond crap at baking. I have yet to produce something that isn't simultaneously burned and raw.

Crinkle77 · 13/02/2022 00:36

Making a decent omelette. Just can't do it. I can do great poached eggs which is something a lot of people struggle with but an omelette should be easy right?

Graphista · 13/02/2022 00:37

@Gilead that's how I am with baking, I make gorgeous sponges and pastries the basic item comes out lovely and tastes great but can't decorate to save my life!

Op don't even get me started on the cupcake and fairy cake debate! They are NOT the same thing just cupcakes are bigger! I've argued this on here before!

Makeup - as I've said I can't do eyeliner, wouldn't know where to start with contouring etc I've only recently stopped using pressed powder which is apparently WAY out of fashion. I can do basic eye make up / lighter shade on upper brown darker on the lid - but I can't do a cut crease or a Smokey eye or any of that malarkey! And I still really dislike matte lips and nails.

Crinkle77 · 13/02/2022 00:38

@BabyFeb22

I feel like liquid eyeliner is like art, you can either do it or you can't! I always just use black eyeshadow and a really small brush 😂
Omg I have never been able to master eyeliner either and like you use a dark eyeshadow and eyeshadow brush to apply it.
AgeingDoc · 13/02/2022 00:50

Slicing bread. DH regularly makes comments about there having been another loaf massacre im the kitchen, if I ever cut myself a slice of bread.
Ironically my work required a high level of manual dexterity and I do several crafts pretty well too. But cut a straight slice of bread? Not a hope.

PlanetNormal · 13/02/2022 00:56

Making pastry.

I’m a competent cook in other respects, but I simply cannot make decent pastry. My mum says it’s because I’ve got ‘hot hands’, whatever that’s supposed to mean. It’s a good job Waitrose sell excellent pastry at reasonable prices.

user1471538283 · 13/02/2022 07:51

I cannot ride a bike or hit a ball with a bat or run any distance.

catsareme14 · 13/02/2022 08:18

Omelettes , why do mine end up as scrambled egg or completely uncooked ? They are a mystery to me