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Original poster

Booked to visit friends, now asked to book an airbnb

195 replies

nellienellie · 10/02/2022 08:53

Just the title really. These are old old friends of dh.

They live in Madrid. Dh and I are on a bit of a budget this year. When he was passing through Madrid on a work trip, he met up with them. And they said "please please, come and stay with us". So DH and I thought, well if the accommodation is covered then we could go out and have a break. Obviously we would have taken them to dinner as thanks.

Dh organised it, and it was clear that we'd be staying with them. They warned that it is a sofa bed (for 3 nights that's not an issue).

We booked our flights and train travel. Then they text dh saying they'd been having a think, and it might be quite squished, so maybe we could look into getting an airbnb?

They didn't say that we couldn't stay with them full stop. But now if we reply asking to stay with them, we will feel like an imposition.

Why agree to host someone if you don't actually mean it? Especially after we booked travel. For what it's worth, they are due to come over here shortly and we were going to offer our spare bedroom.

DH really isn't keen to ask 'oh is it ok if we stay with you actually, we are looking to save money' as he is embarrassed about admitting that we aren't flush. He was at university with them, and they have since done a lot better financially than we have (career break due to kids).

OP posts:

Monopolyiscrap · 11/02/2022 00:20

@mandajmo you are assuming they can afford that.

girlmom21 · 11/02/2022 07:27

I'd cancel if you could get your flight money back,

I don't understand this logic. If they can't get their flight money back they're still better of cancelling than paying out more.

rookiemere · 11/02/2022 07:29

@girlmom21 but a trip to Madrid would be good fun provided they can afford a cheap hotel or studio apartment.

I really wish OP would come back. It's an interesting dilemma and it would be good to know if they have any budget for accommodation.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Holidays

girlmom21 · 11/02/2022 07:45

[quote rookiemere]@girlmom21 but a trip to Madrid would be good fun provided they can afford a cheap hotel or studio apartment.

I really wish OP would come back. It's an interesting dilemma and it would be good to know if they have any budget for accommodation.[/quote]
Oh of course it would!

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 11/02/2022 08:04

Just cancel .
But how well they have done financially compared to you has no relevance, it's just hospitality

OnlyAFleshWound · 11/02/2022 10:53

[quote Monopolyiscrap]@mandajmo you are assuming they can afford that.[/quote]
If you can afford at least 2, maybe more, return flights for a 3-day holiday, eating out, etc. then you can afford a low-budget Airbnb.

Monopolyiscrap · 11/02/2022 11:03

@OnlyAFleshWound What makes you think that?
When we go on holiday we have a budget we allow per day, then flights, then accommodation. If we don't have enough money for any one of these elements, we can't afford to go on holiday.
Or do you think because someone has £400 to go a weekend away, then can automatically afford £500 instead?
I would assume someone staying on a sofa bed in a flat is on a very tight budget.

DottyHarmer · 11/02/2022 11:05

It’s irrelevant imo whether the couple in Madrid are billionaires or poor as church mice. If they have taken back the invitation, they have taken back the invitation and you can’t possibly tell them you can’t afford other accommodation. It would be better to lodge in a dustbin than still turn up at their place….

I wonder why OP disappeared? Methinks a few nails on the head were hit, ie the couple maybe did not know it was a holiday as opposed to just the Dh on a work trip, and dcs are indeed included.

MothExterminator · 11/02/2022 11:06

I agree with the posters saying it isn’t that easy to “just book a B&B”. Even if it is £50-70 that could be a huge part of someone’s monthly budget.

Monopolyiscrap · 11/02/2022 11:06

Why can you not say you cant afford other accommodation and so won't be flying over after all?
If this was the case for me, I would be clear about it. The friendship would be over anyway, so I would want them to know the truth of how they have impacted me.

OnlyAFleshWound · 11/02/2022 11:18

@MothExterminator

I agree with the posters saying it isn’t that easy to “just book a B&B”. Even if it is £50-70 that could be a huge part of someone’s monthly budget.

I doubt that anyone for whom £50 is a huge part of their monthly budget would be splashing out on return flights to Spain for a three-day holiday.

OnlyAFleshWound · 11/02/2022 11:20

[quote Monopolyiscrap]@OnlyAFleshWound What makes you think that?
When we go on holiday we have a budget we allow per day, then flights, then accommodation. If we don't have enough money for any one of these elements, we can't afford to go on holiday.
Or do you think because someone has £400 to go a weekend away, then can automatically afford £500 instead?
I would assume someone staying on a sofa bed in a flat is on a very tight budget.[/quote]
a) No one on 'a very tight budget' is having an optional holiday to Spain, paying for flights for a three-day break.

b) Where do you get £500 from? I've just done a one-minute search on Tripadvisor and have found multiple options for apartments in Madrid which cost around £120 in total for three nights.

Monopolyiscrap · 11/02/2022 11:26

@OnlyAFleshWound I plucked the figure out the air as an illustration.
And we have gone away a long weekend when money was very tight. Because otherwise, we would have not gone abroad for years. In fact pre-kids I have hitchhiked abroad as I didn't have enough transport money. We still stay in hostels when going abroad to save money. Some of us are very good at doing things on a very limited budget. And yes the withdrawal of free accommodation would mean we could not go.
Maybe this is all really about middle class people not having a fucking clue how some people live and manage their money.

OnlyAFleshWound · 11/02/2022 11:33

[quote Monopolyiscrap]@OnlyAFleshWound I plucked the figure out the air as an illustration.
And we have gone away a long weekend when money was very tight. Because otherwise, we would have not gone abroad for years. In fact pre-kids I have hitchhiked abroad as I didn't have enough transport money. We still stay in hostels when going abroad to save money. Some of us are very good at doing things on a very limited budget. And yes the withdrawal of free accommodation would mean we could not go.
Maybe this is all really about middle class people not having a fucking clue how some people live and manage their money.[/quote]
I've hitchhiked. I've stayed in dormitories in youth hostels. I've slept in bus stations and in airports. I've camped by the side of the road.

I'm neither middle class nor rich. Which is why I had a much more realistic idea of how much budget accommodation actually costs, rather than 'plucking a figure out of the air' which completely changes and distorts the reality, which is that accommodation is far cheaper than flights.

But if you prefer to swear at a random stranger and hurl insults at them based on your misplaced prejudices, you feel free. I'm off now

DottyHarmer · 11/02/2022 11:36

No, @Monopolyiscrap . The money is irrelevant. The point is not how to travel on a budget, the point is that you can’t insist on staying with someone who has told you you aren’t welcome. I would rather stay at home till the end of time than foist myself upon hosts who had made it clear they did not want me to stay.

We have all met people who “travel” and talk about “staying with friends”. They are very often just cheeky freeloaders imposing on people who happen to live in a desirable spot. I’m not saying that’s the Op, but if I suspected that’s what someone thought me to be, then there’s no way I’d come within five miles of their home.

mandajmo · 11/02/2022 12:00

[quote Monopolyiscrap]@mandajmo you are assuming they can afford that.[/quote]
Yes I am making that assumption, because it's what most logical people would consider. If they can't afford it they simply don't go.

Monopolyiscrap · 11/02/2022 12:11

@DottyHarmer

No, *@Monopolyiscrap* . The money is irrelevant. The point is not how to travel on a budget, the point is that you can’t insist on staying with someone who has told you you aren’t welcome. I would rather stay at home till the end of time than foist myself upon hosts who had made it clear they did not want me to stay.

Nope. I stay with friends and have friends stay with me. None of us are freeloaders, we are just proper friends.

Monopolyiscrap · 11/02/2022 12:31

@mandajmo but they could afford it with free accommodation.

HaveringWavering · 12/02/2022 10:48

Well OP seems pretty rude, posting once then disappearing and not acknowledge if any of the replies. Perhaps these people realised exactly what they were letting themselves in for?

Somethingsnappy · 12/02/2022 16:45

@HaveringWavering

Well OP seems pretty rude, posting once then disappearing and not acknowledge if any of the replies. Perhaps these people realised exactly what they were letting themselves in for?

Yes, quite!

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