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Original poster

Booked to visit friends, now asked to book an airbnb

195 replies

nellienellie · 10/02/2022 08:53

Just the title really. These are old old friends of dh.

They live in Madrid. Dh and I are on a bit of a budget this year. When he was passing through Madrid on a work trip, he met up with them. And they said "please please, come and stay with us". So DH and I thought, well if the accommodation is covered then we could go out and have a break. Obviously we would have taken them to dinner as thanks.

Dh organised it, and it was clear that we'd be staying with them. They warned that it is a sofa bed (for 3 nights that's not an issue).

We booked our flights and train travel. Then they text dh saying they'd been having a think, and it might be quite squished, so maybe we could look into getting an airbnb?

They didn't say that we couldn't stay with them full stop. But now if we reply asking to stay with them, we will feel like an imposition.

Why agree to host someone if you don't actually mean it? Especially after we booked travel. For what it's worth, they are due to come over here shortly and we were going to offer our spare bedroom.

DH really isn't keen to ask 'oh is it ok if we stay with you actually, we are looking to save money' as he is embarrassed about admitting that we aren't flush. He was at university with them, and they have since done a lot better financially than we have (career break due to kids).

OP posts:
WildfirePonie · 10/02/2022 10:21

Cancel or book somewhere cheap and don't bother visiting them!

And don't offer your spare room.

Gonnagetgoing · 10/02/2022 10:25

Too expensive to cancel so I'd say book cheap air b n b or hotel.

I wouldn't offer your spare room in return.

Yes, it'd be a squish having 4 adults in a 1 bedroom flat but they should've thought of that before begging you both to stay and you arranging travel.

Journeynotdestination · 10/02/2022 10:28

If you are not now taking them out for dinner you’ll save money. Get a cheap hotel & eat cheaply. Is still go.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Holidays
rookiemere · 10/02/2022 10:58

I'm clearly too invested in this, but checked Booking.com and it looks like you could get a fairly decent apartment for around 200 euros for 3 nights. Bring your own breakfast cereal and coffee and then eat out cheaply for other meals.

Madrid has a fabulous food hall where you can buy glasses of fizz and tapas snacks and from memory restaurants were really reasonable.
By not buying a meal for the non hosts you've got around 100 euros to play with.

ChoiceMummy · 10/02/2022 13:34

Would the cost be prohibitive for you now? If so I'd cancel.

Certainly I'd take this as a lesson learned and not repeat, as sad as that is!

Somethingsnappy · 10/02/2022 14:15

@Hoppinggreen

They don’t want you to stay so you can’t. They tried to gently put you off with the sofa bed comment but you didnt get the hint. They aren’t really covering themselves with glory but it looks like you have taken a throw away “oh you must come and stay” as a firm invitation. Nobody is at fault, just crossed wires
If the offer of the sofa bed was a gentle way of putting someone off, it's pretty confusing. Because how would you know if it was indeed a hint, or if it were simply the truth. For example, I've only had a sofa bed to offer guests in the past and have apologised for it, but I definitely wanted them to stay! If someone took it as a hint, I'd be mortified!
HollowTalk · 10/02/2022 14:18

How much have you spent already?

2catsandhappy · 10/02/2022 14:20

Reply, 'will look at b&b tonight, if it is over our budget we will get back to you to cancel our trip. Love Mr & Mrs Nellie'

Beautiful3 · 10/02/2022 14:34

I would cancel this trip. Book one when you've saved up enough to stay in a hotel.

rookiemere · 10/02/2022 14:39

Oh I like @2catsandhappy reply, very pass agg.

IntermittentParps · 10/02/2022 14:44

Oh, that's bad form on their part unless there are actual problems they're not telling you about.
I'm Hmm at people saying they never wanted the OP to stay/tried to gently put them off with the sofa bed comment/made a throwaway comment they didn't actually think would be taken up – they said hey said 'please please, come and stay with us.'

I'd probably cancel in a fit of pique myself Grin but I like the more grown-up suggestion for the OP to talk to them and ask them if they’re okay; who knows what might come up if you do that and you may still be able to save the trip and keep the friendship.

RandomQuest · 10/02/2022 14:45

How rude of them. You don’t tell people that they can stay on your sofa bed if you don’t mean it! And I say this as someone who used to live in a popular tourist city with only a sofa bed for guests. I would just cancel tbh.

tara66 · 10/02/2022 14:48

I would also tell them you cannot find a nearby B+B ''within our price range'' AND you can't get refund for the flight - that should be a big hint for them to say '' come and stay'' - anyone can cope with guest for 3 days!

BorderlineHappy · 10/02/2022 14:51

Hoppinggreen
They offered their sofa.
There was no miscommunication.
They havee moved the goalposts

rookiemere · 10/02/2022 14:51

No I wouldn't be staying with them now, awkward as heck.

LeroyJenkinssss · 10/02/2022 14:51

Do you have any sort of budget for accommodation and when we’re you planning on going? Because it very much seems that something has happened behind the scenes that means they aren’t happy hosting. Tbh I think you might have a better time if it if you got a separate place to stay and you could have a more enjoyable time not being underfoot all the time despite the extra cost

Chloemol · 10/02/2022 14:56

If you can’t afford the accommodation then don’t go

If you do go and don’t stay with them I wouldn’t be meeting up that often with them, maybe a meal and each pay their own

And I wouldn’t be offering the spare room

UseOfWeapons · 10/02/2022 14:58

@2catsandhappy

Reply, 'will look at b&b tonight, if it is over our budget we will get back to you to cancel our trip. Love Mr & Mrs Nellie'
I’d do this. I’d never be worried about telling people I can’t afford something, it leads to less misunderstandings. If you do cancel, they’ll understand, and are less likely to be offended.
newbiename · 10/02/2022 15:13

There are some great one star Hostels in Spain.
I've stayed in a few. They are no frills at all but en suite and clean.
Not youth hostels but ' Hostals'.

Tilltheend99 · 10/02/2022 15:19

Are you sure they aren’t genuinely thinking of your comfort (if DH hasn’t mentioned anything then they are unaware that it is a financial issue)

Also, are you sure they are so much better off if they only have a spare sofa bed? Have you stayed there before? If not maybe they are not as well off as you think and are panicking about you seeing how they live.

notacooldad · 10/02/2022 15:21

It sounds like they've said the equivalent of " we'll have to catch up soon' and usually both sides agree but both no it will never happen!!
You've caught them on the hop and theyvectried to back out with thecsifa bed and that's not worked so they are trying the ' book your own accommodation' tactic!

Soffit · 10/02/2022 15:28

Nah, I'd change my flight destination to somewhere more worth it (like Seville). Madrid isn't worth a short break at full cost and I bet you are not that keen to meet up with them anymore in those circumstances. Give them a shout offering to meet up if they drive down though Wink

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 10/02/2022 15:32

As much as it would be a bit of a squish with the sofa bed, they offered that. To renege is just rude.

I hope you are able to find somewhere cheap and cheerful OP.

Mariposista · 10/02/2022 15:32

This is disgusting. I would be overly cheery and say 'no don't worry, we don't mind the lack of room'.

IntermittentParps · 10/02/2022 15:36

@notacooldad

It sounds like they've said the equivalent of " we'll have to catch up soon' and usually both sides agree but both no it will never happen!! You've caught them on the hop and theyvectried to back out with thecsifa bed and that's not worked so they are trying the ' book your own accommodation' tactic!
The OP says they said 'please please, come and stay with us.'

On another note and not the point, I disagree that 'Madrid isn't worth a short break at full cost'; I went a few years ago, with not very high expectations, and had a great time. It's not a beautiful picturesque place like Seville, but it is so easy to have a good time there: there's the amazing Prado and other galleries, wonderful flea and antique markets, lovely bars and restaurants...

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