I'm going out with a really rich man and he wants me to take out a loan to lend him money

[HollowTalk]

Well, not really, but that's what happened to the women in Tinder Swindler on Netflix.

If only they'd posted their dilemma on here.

How long would you have to be going out with someone before you lent him money?

I was actually going to say that when you hear of these romance scams, it's not red flags but bloody great big sirens.

But then I remembered, I took out a 0% finance deal for my OH to buy something in the first few months of our relationship, about a month before we started living together. He hadn't been in the UK long enough to have the credit history to qualify, but then he wasn't claiming to be rich either.

Quite a while and the key thing would be it would not be money I couldn’t afford to lose or didn’t have.

I read about this one who was sent photos of him”kidnapped” and apparently sent thousands because “his enemies had caught up with him. If that were me is have assumed drugs were changing hands and phone the police.

I don’t know how a lot of these people manage in day to day life I really don’t.

I feel the same about people who STILL share those fake centerparcs posts on Facebook.

Never, ever. Loans come from a bank.

If a man would rather risk my hard-earned savings than pay reasonable commercial interest, he's not worth keeping.

How long would you have to be going out with someone before you lent him money?

Ha. In my 20’s I lived in my own place and my boyfriend of 2 years moved in - he was supposed to pay half the mortgage as his rent. The second month he “lost” a wad of cash so couldn’t pay. He was kicked out before the next mortgage payment was due.

I am watching that Netflix movie, haven’t watched much but am curious to see how they were swindled!

The guy involved claimed he was a billionaire with a billionaire father, to boot, but couldn't use his own cards just at that point (or at any point onwards) because his enemies would find out where he was as a result. Hmmm if only a bank could issue a different card! If only he asked to borrow his dad's card. But no, that young woman he's known a month is suddenly the only person in the world he can trust.

I wouldnt ever lend a man money.

I DID go out with a man who never asked me for cash (I was skint!) but always had flashy cars, we went to posh restaurants, he wore amazing clothes.

Turned out I was the lucky one - he went silent on me after a few months, turns out he'd been arrested for romance scams like in the OP and did 7 years in prison.

I've never leant any man more than a few quid (like £50 until they next went to the atm), if they need money that badly they're not the man for me!

I totally see how it happened, and whilst I've never leant a man money, I'm not surprised many others did in this case. He was obviously very convincing! How else would he be so successful with so many women?

I'd never lend a man money. Even when I was married our finances were separate.

I find to so hard to believe that people get taken in so easily. Noone is perfect I'm certainly not but then I'm naturally suspious of everyone.
Have been told many a time cynicism is my middle name, it's so very true.

What I thought was sad about it was they all fell for it out of greed, because they wanted the unreachable lifestyle he’d convinced them he had, and they would have too.

I did lend my dp £1000 after knowing him for a year. He paid it back after about 3 weeks.

I'm assuming they used his real voice messages. I thought he had a really dead voice with no expression whatsoever. The only time he sounded like his true self was when he got really angry with them. When he was saying he loved them and someone I didn't find him convincing at all.

I was thinking at the time if an actor performed like that in an audition he wouldn't get the part.

I find it very hard to believe. I think a lot of them deep down must know but convince themselves otherwise for whatever reason.

It horrifies me just how daft some people are. Makes me think even less of humanity tbh.

I never lend anyone anything. If I really want to help and I can afford it, I might give it, but to me if you lend you have to be prepared not to get it back.

Never a lender nor a borrower be, my Dad's favourite saying
Very wise!!

I saw one victim try to get the bank to repay her but they had told her it was a scam and she still carried on.

Batshit.

I think all of them must have kept it quiet with their own friends and family. The thread title shows that if you say it out loud everyone would think you were crazy.

Husband expected lunch, didn't get any and went into a huff.
He took our little one to a party less than a couple of hrs. I messaged him to ask: Hi baby are you guys wanting lunch?
He said: He's having some now
I said: What's he having
He said: Party food
That's where I left it. I done the cleaning and made myself some noodles. He came home and shock horror was p@#$ he didn't have any! OMG. was I in the wrong?

I wouldn't even lend my friends money let alone some random I've never met!
But it happens... I do think the people that lend money to ransoms live in alternate universe and honestly believe they are in love

Lending money to friends is a sure way to lose them. Speaking from experience !

@Fingerstothebone you need to start your own thread (and ignore the mardy man child).

I know someone who is now on his 5th partner who he's taken for a ride - He's swindled people along the way, and one after another - and it's often the siblings of his partners or friends as well as the partners themselves.... He is terrible, awful with money - spends it like water and borrows a few thousand (or tens of thousands) here and there from people, then goes AWOL and moves on.

He's very very personable, very likeable and his story is always the same - that the previous partner has taken/spent HIS money.

I don't keep in touch, he used me as a business reference....I did say to the person very clearly to keep an eye on the money and not pay him until they could see the goods, but nonetheless they ended up losing £30k. He tried to rip me off for £1k. I declined his kind offer to lend him money. I haven't seen him since.

As I watched it, I wondered the same thing.

I assume that these women grow up in nice middle class homes, shielded from the likes of 'Simon' whereas, the rest of us, benefitting from a more rounded upbringing would clock him for the wrong 'un he is straight away. He appeared to be a classic love bomber.

I know two women who have done this. They were very vulnerable and loving - one a widow who had never really coped or worked but was rich - and another a divorcee who was highly competent and worked all her life but wanted someone to love. That's what the rubbish people prey on. It's not new, but SM has made it easier. Look at apparently intelligent people who have fallen for other scams. There are stories every week. Considering we have are considered the money laundering capital of the world, I'm surprised banks allow major withdrawals at eg cash points and transfers.