I'm going out with a really rich man and he wants me to take out a loan to lend him money

[HollowTalk]

Well, not really, but that's what happened to the women in Tinder Swindler on Netflix.

If only they'd posted their dilemma on here.

How long would you have to be going out with someone before you lent him money?

I have a read who was chatting to a man who wanted to find him a 750k house for them.to live in ( never met irl) it took about 3 months for him to ask her for cash. Thankfully she didnt but she was totally convinced it was true. Then almost immediately met a millionaire working on a oil rig which unsurprisingly got hijacked by Somalian pirates. Again she was convinced ( but looking at his texts he could bearly string a coherent sentence together). Now dating a real life loaded man who works in a high power job... ( with no one line presence but he he is a multi national manager of a household brand. I think she is just too kind and desperate for a happy ever after. Wondering why a man who has never met her wants to buy a million pound house for her never comes into it. I'm so cynical. Once she sent a picture of me dressed up and he told her she loved lovely. We look nothing alike. Shes blond I'm a brunette but even that didnt raise suspicions

I said the same about his voice on another thread, so monotone and robotic when he was saying I love you, I miss you. He sounded completely uninterested.
It was eye opening when he went berserk at the woman selling his clothes and he showed his real self!

I really hoped he would get his comeuppance. I can't believe he's back living that luxury lifestyle with the model girlfriend just business as usual

When I was in my mid-twenties, I legit went out with a multi-millionaire.
He owned a large farming company - they owned thousands upon thousands of acres of high producing farmland.
Took me on trips on his plane & helicopter.
Gave me jewelry for Christmas and my birthday, when I barely knew him, and while they were lovely, it made me uncomfortable because they were inappropriate gifts for someone you were merely “dating.”
He also felt it appropriate and necessary to correct everything he felt I said and did that was either “wrong,” or “inappropriate.” It was embarrassing and unnecessary. And wrong.
He was substantially older than I am, so different generations & little in common.
It got more & more uncomfortable so I broke it off. Money isn’t the be-all and end-all.
The one thing he never, ever did was ask to borrow money. That’s absurd, especially for a multi-millionaire.

I just can't believe he hasn't been prosecuted for the scams. He seems to have gotten away with it. (His jail term was for debt I think. Not deception.)

I actually think the women were really brave going on the show knowing they would be judged.

Years ago, a girl I knew slightly said to me about my new boyfriend "don't lend him any money, he'll ask but don't do it" He asked, I ignored the advice and lost a lot of money.
I've stuck to that advice ever since and it's stood me in good stead.
My dsis however got herself caught up in an online relationship with a really good looking body builder, we tried to warn her he was a scammer but she fell for it hook, line and sinker.
Not sure how much he swindled her for but in the end a woman claiming to be his sister phoned and said he'd been murdered.
The story told by the "sister" was that the people that murdered him were going to come after my dsis for the money he owed them, probably to try to get more money out of my dsis.
Bear in mind that dsis had never even met him, police became involved, dsis moved out of her home temporarily.
Dsis still believes he was a real person and that he'd been murdered🙄

@Campervangirl even with the involvement of the police. Surely they would have set her straight?

I’m usually quite cynical , but leaving aside the motivation of the woman, you can see why they believed him if you actually watch it.
He really did take them on private jets and stay in five star hotels and have a minder .it wasn’t just some guy sitting in his mums spare room talking the talk.
I don’t understand how the sums added up though, unless he had loads of women at once. The amount of money he got through didn’t equate to the amount of money he got from them.
Also would love to know why the woman who had his child, and had participated in a court case against him, was then helping him to scam other victims .

Camper 😱

8 months after first meeting, we got married, a few months after that I put my fiance's name on my flat.

So not quite lent, but the stakes were a lot higher. Still married 7 years later.

It’s not always about falling for a romance scam. It’s the shame associated with admitting to it - for men and women. That’s why fraudsters have gotten away with it before. Thankfully banks are now wising up to this and have started to get more aggressive when dealing with it.

@CocoCookieCream

8 months after first meeting, we got married, a few months after that I put my fiance's name on my flat.

So not quite lent, but the stakes were a lot higher. Still married 7 years later.

It wouldn’t have mattered if you put his name on the flat or not. Being married would entitle him to at least 50% regardless.

@ozanj

That's not true anymore. Marriage doesn't automatically equal 50/50 split of house immediately anymore. Judges take into account timeframe /length of marriage and contributions towards mortgage, etc..

I was the executor for a will and had to transfer a large amount of money from my account to one of the beneficiaries. Couldn't do it online so had to go in person to the bank, was interviewed by their fraud person for about 30 mins, provide documentary evidence that it wasn't fraud and ign statements to indicate that no-one had asked me to give them money online etc.

I feel sorry for these women but FFS seriously?

I hope that making a Netflix show has enabled them to recoup their money!

I would only lend money to one person and that is my sister, it's the same the other way round, too.

Have not watched the Tinder Swindler yet, but I think to a certain extent people want to trust others.
My mother's youngest brother has/had form for swindling money out of others especially my mum. Just after my dad had died, my uncle told my mum wild stories about an inheritance he was due, but that was somehow blocked. Could she please lend him 6K Deutsche Mark so he can cover legal costs? She did, never saw the money we desperately needed again.

He tried with me a few years after mum had died and I basically told him to FO. He claimed my grandmum didn't have any food in the house, could I lend €100? I asked her directly to give me a shopping list and bought what was on there for about €25.
And that side of the family wonder why my siblings and I are NC with them...

Does no harm to instil a healthy dose of cynicism in our daughters rather than filling their heads with this Disney “one day my price will come” pernicious nonsense.

Actually these programmes are good if they make people more aware they may be less likely to fall for them..

If he was ''Really rich'' he'd never ask you to lend him money.

A bona fide multi millionaire I know of makes his wife buy Tesco value bleach in multiples.

Wealthy, but tight as @rseholes.

OP, please don't lend this scamster money.

I grew up in poverty

I have loaned partners money to pursue qualifications and to get themselves out a hole.

Not everyone can get a bank loan and to someone with nothing a couple of thousand pounds to invest in a course or setting up a business can be life changing

I have no regrets

Those were more than 2 year relationships though

OP, please don't lend this scamster money.

@oakleaffy

Did you actually even read the first post?

It's only 3 sentences - not exactly onerous.

I do think in some cases the victims see themselves as unworthy of love/relationships (they are old/unattractive in conventional terms/lonely) and they just don't want it to be a scam because they feel that finally someone is taking notice of their hidden lovableness etc.

If someone asks you for something and you agree to it I'm sorry but it's your own fault.

Imagine being a fully-grown man and borrowing money from a woman you are romantically involved with - how low can you go. It puts the woman in a position of finding it hard to say "no", which is why they do it.
They could ask family or friends but would rather take advantage. Horrible.

What really amazes me is that even with his name plastered over the internet and the documentary people are still falling for his lies, apparently he is living the life still - on other people’s money. Leopards and spots.

(And he must be as thick as mince, if he had invested the money he swindled instead of blowing it on jets, cars and hotels he would be having a very nice lifestyle)

It would never happen. EVER. I don't even lend or give money to my children...bar Christmas or birthdays.

so, after reading this and watching tinder swindler, and the Puppet Master, I would say this. NEVER lend anyone money. My ex conned me out of nearly £80,000. He worked for the first 6 months of the relationship, and once he was firmly on my mortgage become violent and abusive in EVERY WAY.

4 years later, i threw his backside out, and i am left with £55,000 worth of debt that will likely take me until i retire to pay off, and a credit file that is completely worthless.

however, I count my lucky stars, because he could have killed me.

NEVER EVER LEND ANYONE MONEY - IT LEADS TO TROUBLE