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I’m going to look horrible on my own wedding day
271

Caramelvanillafudge · 28/01/2022 07:24

Arghhh, I’m an idiot.

I am getting married next month. I’ve put on a bit of weight and thought I could lose it in time but it hasn’t happened. I do look fat: there’s no way I can avoid that.

I’ve never been brilliant at putting on makeup and I only wear foundation and mascara. I just don’t suit lipstick or eye shadow or blusher. Stupidly, I thought I’d get someone to do my hair and makeup. And I had a trial run yesterday and it looked RIDICULOUS! The hair style made me look even fatter and I looked like JK Rowling’s description of Dolores Umbridge. The makeup just made me look stupid. There was nothing wrong with how she did it, it just looked silly on me.

I know I could just do my own hair and makeup but then I’ve messed everyone around and spent money I don’t have.

I just want to get married in jeans and a cardigan in a registry office Sad

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ModerationInEverything · 28/01/2022 07:28

It sounds like your problem is your confidence. Do your hair and make up the way you feel comfortable. I totally empathise I feel like a child playing dress up if I wear much make up.

Your wedding day is a wonderful, exciting day about declaring your love and commitment to your oh. If you went in a sack you'd look radiant, it's happiness.
Be kinder to yourself. I'm sure you'll be beautiful.

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trevthecat · 28/01/2022 07:29

Do your own hair and make up. Lots of practice in the time you have left. Also, why can't you get married at a registry office and have a party after? Maybe with a friend doing a ceremony?

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HPLikecraft · 28/01/2022 07:30

Just be clear about what you want them to do: keep makeup very subtle and barely there, and tell them exactly how you'd like your hair. You're paying so you're in vharge. Don't just give them free rein to do whatever.

Congratulations and I'm sure you'll look gorgeous on the day Flowers

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CaroleFuckingBaskin · 28/01/2022 07:32

Deffo ditch the hairdresser and makeup person.
,
Do your own hair. Just use the mascara and foundation you normally do.

Your fiance loves you this way, so don't try to be someone you don't feel comfortable being.

You will look beautiful. Keep it all simple and have a wonderful day! X

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ClariceQuiff · 28/01/2022 07:35

Did you feed back to the person doing your trial? You need to tell them what it is you didn't like so they can fix it.

But you are not obliged to use them. It's a sunk cost - the money is spent whether you use them or not. If they can't make you look as you want to look the choice is:

= spend £100* and look 'ridiculous'
= spend £100 and look good

It's a no-brainer - if they can't come up with a look you like, don't use them.

*£100 example sum - no idea what this would cost nowadays.

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Mufflette · 28/01/2022 07:35

Get on YouTube and look for tutorials of what you want to look like, plenty of time to practice!

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SomewhereOnlyIKnow · 28/01/2022 07:36

Ditch it all and do it yourself.
You need to be yourself and feel confident on the day.
I hated my practice wedding make up so cancelled it, and found that I was better at doing my own hair, so the woman doing my DM’s hair put my veil on for me.
It’s your day, wear and do what you want.

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ReadySteadyTwins · 28/01/2022 07:37

I am getting married next month. I’ve put on a bit of weight and thought I could lose it in time but it hasn’t happened. I do look fat: there’s no way I can avoid that.

Ok, being realistic, there's nothing you can do here, you say that yourself. You've already decided that.

What you could do, for this one off event, is crash diet. A month is plenty of time. It depends how much weight you'd need to lose in order for you to think you don't look "fat" and only you can answer that. If you've put on half a stone, that's doable. If you've put on 3 stone, it's not.

Stupidly, I thought I’d get someone to do my hair and makeup. And I had a trial run yesterday and it looked RIDICULOUS! The hair style made me look even fatter and I looked like JK Rowling’s description of Dolores Umbridge. The makeup just made me look stupid. There was nothing wrong with how she did it, it just looked silly on me

So, one person did your hair and make up and you didn't like it. You haven't signed a legal binding contract that she has to do it again, or you can't get married. Just do it yourself. You've paid her for the trial, as you should. At least you found out via a trial rather than on the day when you would have no opportunity to change this.

I paid a make up artist to do my face as a treat once when I was going on a date. I looked the ugliest I think I've ever seen myself. She just got me all wrong. Sounds like you've had a similar experience. So find someone else, and if it's money that's the issue, then do it yourself. A month is enough time for you to watch some tutorials and practice on yourself in the evenings. If you had a go every evening, you've done 30 "trial runs" on yourself and will know which looks you like best.

I think you sound really defeatist, and I do understand why you're upset, but don't agree there's nothing you can do. Either resign to the fact (which is what you already appear to have done) or do something about it.

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Caramelvanillafudge · 28/01/2022 07:42

I can crash diet but I won’t be where I want to be.

There’s no point looking at tutorials or anything. It’s me. That’s why I couldn’t feed back to her, there was nothing wrong with what she did, if it was someone else else’s face!

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rookiemere · 28/01/2022 07:45

Is it too late to change your dress plans a bit? Sounds like you don't enjoy being centre of attention- I empathise.

I'd go to a Bobbi Brown place and get them to do your makeup. Stress you want it to be natural looking, then buy some of the stuff and do it yourself on the day. Ditto the hair.

If the dress is too much, you don't have to wear a traditional bridal dress, short notice but get something else that you're happy in.

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lostoldname · 28/01/2022 07:45

Just do your make up as you usually do. People at your wedding are there because they love you and want to join in with your day. The photos will reflect that.

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SomewhereOnlyIKnow · 28/01/2022 07:48

Buy an outfit (doesn’t have to be a dress) that suits your weight and do your own hair/make up.

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HowDOyouspellIt · 28/01/2022 07:49

Check out the Human Being Diet - it's very easy to lose a stone in a month. It's harder work to keep it off, but if you're after a quick fix this might help.
If you have time, it might be worth booking in a consultation with, for example, the Charlotte Tilbury counter at your local department store. Explain what you want, and get them to talk through what they're doing. If you like it, then at least you have some more options. And if you like the makeup, perhaps just get that done, and do your own hair?
Congratulations, and hope you feel amazing on your big day, whatever you decide to do!

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Thatsplentyjack · 28/01/2022 07:51

How much weight have you put on OP? Did you take pictures to the hairdressers foe your trial.
You could try a different make up artist. Everyone has their own style of applying make-up so perhaps this person's style just didn't suit you.

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Caramelvanillafudge · 28/01/2022 07:51

The way she did it was natural, though. Just - I don’t know. I honestly can’t explain it. I don’t like blusher on me, maybe that was it?

I’ve less than a month to go.

I think I’m just going to look a bit rubbish!

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BuanoKubiamVej · 28/01/2022 07:52

You are not going to look horrible. Everyone - including overweight people with no makeup on - looks beautiful when their eyes are full of joy and love. Makeup and hair that aren't "you" and make you feel uncomfortable are only going to damage your confidence. Your size doesn't matter a bit. I got married over 20 years ago and was a size 18 that day. I'm back to a size 14 now but I reflect now that most of the romantic gestures we shared before we married involved huge numbers of calories so it wasn't surprising. But looking at my wedding photos it doesn't seem that I look fat, I only look happy (and I was).

Rethink the makeup - ask for a "natural look" and keep thinks light. Makeup that slaps on enough foundation to create a blank canvas and then draws a new face on top just doesn't feel right if you aren't used to it. Hairstyle plans can change too.

But your fiance isn't marrying you for your hairstyle, weight or lipstick style. None of these things are truly important so go with what feels comfortable. Your wedding isn't a showcase of how beautiful and stylish you are. It's about love. Everything else is a distraction.

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Jacaranda75 · 28/01/2022 07:53

Exactly how much time do you have before you get married?
What’s your dress like?
Have you had lash extensions before?
We can help you!

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rookiemere · 28/01/2022 07:54

Sorry I've just reread the OP. So normally you wear very little makeup- just do that then. Be yourself, get the minimum of photos taken if you're concerned about it. Don't crash diet, it will make you all depressed in the lead up. Be yourself, not some made up bouffanty haired version of you.

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ReginaFilange001 · 28/01/2022 07:59

Oh I can assure you that you don't look as awful as you think. Brides never look awful. They beam with happiness and love on their wedding day and it shines through their photos. Photographer takes so many there will be some not so flattering ones but the ones that are will be amazing.

Practical things between now and wedding.

Don't be so hard on yourself. That way leads to bad feeling and over eating etc.

Don't feel you have to do an extreme diet between now and wedding.
Drink plenty of water
Small treat each day - small choc, small crisps whatever takes your fancy
Plenty of fruit and veg.
Can you get your nails and brows done? Have a massage?
Take time weekly between now and then to do things for you - read, a walk, a bath - whatever you enjoy - weddings can be all consuming.
Try and take some daily exercise - a walk, a yoga flow, a more intense class, whatever you enjoy.

I think make up is very personal and my first trial was awful. Be honest about what you like and don't like with your make up person and see if they will try again. If not do this yourself. Maybe go to a make up counter of a brand you like and ask for tips.

Hair - I'm rubbish at hair so I had someone do mine but I didn't have an elaborate up do. It was just my normal hair but done nice, maybe have something simple if your outfit for the day allows.

Your future husband/wife loves you for who you are and will find you stunningly gorgeous. It's such a happy day filled with love that you really won't be worried about this stuff on the day. It's a stressful time in the months leading up to a wedding and I felt exactly like you did at about this time. Take some time to speak to yourself in a lovely manner and to care for yourself and you will much better on the day.

Good luck

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Ohdoleavemealone · 28/01/2022 08:00

Does your dress fit properly? Are you happy with that?
I think you should go to those counters at boots and ask them to do your makeup. Then you could buy the products they use if you like it?

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stuntbubbles · 28/01/2022 08:03

Right, we are going to FIX THIS.

You can’t lose the weight in a month, and anyway you’ll be miserable. Happy bride = beautiful bride.

Are you happy with your dress? You only have to wear it if you LOVE it, not just because you’ve spent on it. Does it suit your figure now? My friend got married recently in a plum-coloured dress with a thigh-high split. Have you got £100 or so to go to the shops and buy something that makes you feel WOW even if it’s not traditionally “bridal”? You’ll have a bouquet and a ring, everyone will still know you’re the bride even if you’re in green/yellow/blue/the colour that suits you best.

Don’t use the hair/makeup person. The money is wasted whether you use them or not, but there’s no sense using them just because you’ve booked them. Think about when you felt and looked your best, the most “you” you can be: blow-dried hair with your head upside-down? Slept in a plait and styled it out with dry shampoo? Whatever it was, do that. Rock the foundation and mascara if that’s what makes you happy. Lipstick only comes off when you’re eating anyway. Have a glass of champagne (one…) while you get ready. Have a kitchen disco. Buy some great shoes and killer nail polish.

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Caramelvanillafudge · 28/01/2022 08:06

I know people are trying to help but I don’t think I’m being very clear - the dress is gorgeous. On someone else. Ditto the makeup and hair Grin

The problem is I thought getting my hair and makeup done would help but I’m still me. Obviously!

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Sunshineandflipflops · 28/01/2022 08:10

OP - I much prefer the less make up look to when I see brides (or anyone) who have troweled it on.

When I got married, I went to a counter in Boots to have a make up session and like you, it just wasn't 'me' but I bought a few of the nice products they used and one of my best friends ( a bridesmaid) did it for me on the day as she knew me and it looked perfect. I still have the Chanel lipstick now, 17 years later...in fact it's lasted longer than my marriage!

A month is enough time to lose enough weight to feel a little more comfortable IF YOU WANT TO but I can guarantee that all your husband to be will be thinking is how lucky he is when he sees you.

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Sloughsabigplace · 28/01/2022 08:11

My first wedding - I did get married in jeans and a jumper in a reg office. The world didn’t implode. It was fine. Nothing wrong with doing that (we didn’t have guests, no reception we just went out together and have a pub lunch and strayed out all day, it was was great).

Second wedding reg office again but now dh wanted a “proper” wedding. Mainly to please his parents.

I’m like you, I don’t wear make up. I only wear trainers. I don’t dress up. It’s not me. I spent a fucking miserable day looking like someone else in shoes that I thought I’d break my leg in and the first dress I’d seen in the (I think) Oasis wedding collection.

I was so glad when the day was over and I could wash my face.

Don’t make yourself sad on your wedding day.

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rookiemere · 28/01/2022 08:11

Well thank goodness you are still you OP, as that's who your fiancé has chosen to marry.

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